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  2. I get your worry because I too worry just like you do. I also find it difficult to trust doctors. Here are some positive things to keep in mind: 1. Your xrays and bloodwork were all good. That's very reassuring. 2. Great Dane's are epically good and wonderful dogs, but also large and powerful (they don't know their own strength!). I would think that maybe you were bruised or pulled a muscle or something. I mean those dogs are huge and not just huge...very strong on top of their size. I feel for you because I know what it's like to be in such a spiral state and also not having some kind of definitive answer is terrible, especially for someone with HA. Hang in there and keep us posted. We all care around here.
  3. Update: So I had derm #3 send my records to my regular derm...derm #1. Derm #1 asked me to come in. He looked me over and reviewed the biopsy report plus total skin check. He reassured me that this was not going to kill me. He concurred with derm #3 that it could be any number of inflammatory conditions but instead of saying "just wait" he prescribed a steroid cream and oral steroids with a follow up in a few weeks. So far in less than a week the area is much much much lighter. Still there...mind you...still red...but much lighter. I've had eczema before...very mild. So has my mother. This doesn't look like that but it's also in a different part of the body so who knows. Overall, the fact that it is lightening and lightening in a way that I can see it for myself makes me feel better. I pray that it goes completely away and never comes back. Derm #1 did say that the biopsies were "overkill" and that he never would have done them. He said he was sorry that derm #2 scared me needlessly...so that made me feel better as well. I told him, I never would have gone elsewhere but he was out of the country on vacation. So I'm actually following doctor's orders and continuing to hope this just becomes a distant memory soon.
  4. its been 3 weeks maybe 4 weeks now where i had this pulling dull ache under my right pectoral muscle. that bothers me when twisting or stretching. its never intense or debilitating but its becoming annoying. massaging does lil help. i do get slightly short of breath which i have been scene for at 2 different hospital visits for severe anxiety. i went for a follow up at a local urgent care where i had my side examined and the doctor didnt think anything of it even with proof of results from xray and labs that were done. ( i had 2 xrays done near that area that didnt show anything malignant with my heart, lungs etc.) i was sent home with anxiety meds and so on. it went away with rest but today reaching to the high cabinet it was achey again. i do work in veterinary so not sure if handling a massive great dane with a lot of force caused this issue. i also sleep on a old mattress on the floor due to some remodeling going on. im worried i developed cancer or some serious disease thats going to take me out. its consistent and i see lots of things related to intercostal strain/sprain. anyone able to guide me to reassurance?
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  6. I understand. Doesn’t sound like there is really anything left to do but let it be.
  7. Honestly, I'm so over all of this and mentally exhausted. At this point, I don't know what I'm going to do.
  8. Ok I see - the only other thing would be to have that 3rd derm’s results and comments (in your medical files) sent to your ob so she has all that info and is aware/can monitor as she see fit since there is nothing for the derm to do now. If you are still really concerned, I think that is the last thing you could do. I am not saying she needs to check you out but since you get mammos and you see her, her having all of this in her files would probably be a good thing. And she can add her two cents into what the records say, if you want it. Although it doesn’t sound necessary.
  9. Unfortunately I think it's new because (1) my husband noticed it a few days after the mammo and (2) the pink area grew a bit ...like a bruise would grow...after the first time I saw it. Something felt weird, pokey, at the gym. I thought it was a new sports bra digging in...about 2 weeks after the mammo. That's what prompted me to look. When I showed my husband he said "Oh you've had that few a while now...it's a bruise from the mammo." Sigh....
  10. Oh so you are pulling on your skin to look at it? Yes that can be keeping it red looking for sure and can definitely be a reason why you had trouble with the stitch and the infection. The skin is really sensitive and I know you said you skin is super sensitive anyway. So if it is a hard to see area, and there is nothing medically wrong with this area, could it have been there even before the mammo? Like maybe it has been redder for some time due to aging and hormone changes? That is a question to consider. It may not be new, but new to you, and the only reason you found it was because of the pain after the mammo. Otherwise you wouldn’t have known it was there? Thank you for the prayers… that is much appreciated!! 🤗 glad i could help during what was a really scary time. I know you are ok. It’s a mind thing right now- not liking it being there. But I am so glad that’s what it is.
  11. It is going to be hard not to look at it but I think I need to do just that. It's possible that my looking at it over and over again is actually delaying healing. I have to contort myself to see it...while the area is large it's not something readily seen so the breast tissue is being pulled over and over again (many times throughout the day)...because... you know...HA. That may also be why a stitched popped. I mean, I have to admit that. BeautifulDisaster, you are the voice of reason and you've really really really helped me more than I could ever convey. Know you are in my prayers daily as it's the least I can do for you to repay all that you've done for me. Just really thank you.
  12. I am glad to hear the infection and the biopsy sites are healing- exactly as it should be and that is a good sign that the tissue is healthy. I think one of the hardest things to tolerate is not knowing. They don’t know what it is, but they know what it isn’t. He thoroughly checked it and looked for all kinds of nasty things- which it wasn’t. I know you feel like he dismissed you, but could it be because he knows it isn’t life threatening but doesn’t know exactly what it is so it’s not something he feels he needs to treat and thus, he doesn’t have to see you anymore? I would think that would be a great sign because he would in no way jeopardize his medical degree by brushing you off. Maybe he just doesn’t see a need for you to go back because he has nothing to treat- which is good! I know you don’t like it but maybe it is the way your body is changing over time. All that matter is - it is nothing that needs to be treated. I wonder - if you spent a few days not looking at it at all, if it would look lighter to you. I have been there before where you look and focus on a color or mark on your body and it looks so much darker than it really is because you keep looking and you expect it to look that way. Try not to look at it at all for even one week and see how it looks different. That’s ok to do because you know the tissue is healthy and you know it is nothing to be treated. It may look lighter after that break.
  13. Thank you so much for worrying about me. I had to have my stitches removed a bit early because one of them popped and the wound was getting infected. After more cream and oral antibiotics, it's finally healing, I think. The doctor still doesn't know what it is but pretty much dismissed me saying "you don't need to come back." I had an appt for July 2nd...but he said it's not necessary and that it will just take time to fade. Honestly, I think he's tired of me...this is why I stopped going to see him before because he just doesn't like patients that advocate for themselves. When I saw pus at the wound, I asked to be seen. When the pus didn't go away, I asked for antibiotics. That all seems reasonable to me....but he's difficult. No matter, I had the biopsies and I had the answers...which is somewhat of a non-answer but at least we know (we hope) what it's not. It's not worse. The punch biopsy wounds are healing...so there's that. What it is still remains a complete mystery. To me it still looks the same. While I have calmed down, I can't say that I'm okay with it...but to be honest I have no idea where to go from here. Again, I thank you BeautifulDisaster for all you have done for you. You have no idea how much you've blessed me.
  14. How is it doing now? Has it gone away? Did you have your dr appt yet?
  15. I think this is a part of the health anxiety journey. You had all of the tests and very thorough tests and 4 drs actually see you. There is no direct explanation for it. This is a good time to practice accepting that sometimes we don’t know the answers. Sometimes you won’t know what caused something and that’s ok. And when the anxiety comes up, you look back at the evidence of …. It was clearly thoroughly tested and 4 people looked at me. So whatever it is, it isn’t harmful. I would go to say …. You just don’t like it. And that is creating the anxiety. You want it gone now and it isn’t and you want to know what it is and you don’t, so you don’t like it. I have been there before. But since you have had all the tests and been all checked out, you can use that to help you practice accepting the body as it is right now.
  16. It's not necessarily a failure. You opened up You were willing to take advice, even through the stubbornness of anxiety. You are willint to take a look back. Overcoming anxiety is a process. Each one of these situations is a chance to analyze and learn. How we think - how we react. The goal is to not react as severely to the next situation. 🙂
  17. That's a very interesting question, Ironman. I would have to say that if this is a test, I have failed it miserably. I would say that the good things I've done is to go to the doctor(s) and advocate for myself and some kind of resolution. However, though I'm not in the state that I was in a week(ish) ago when I was waiting on the biopsy results, I can't say that I'm anywhere near comfort or acceptance...that's just the truth. I suppose it's the not knowing what it is and why it is that causes me to doubt everyone and everything including myself. I know that the body is a very complex thing and even the best of doctors don't have the answers - and that doesn't make me feel any better. I know that my own mother had a rash that lasted for months when she was around my age (hers was different, but still) that never was diagnosed, even after repeated tests, and it spontaneously went away never to return...and that's now been almost 40 years. The only "good" that has come of this is I feel like I've drawn closer to God and am more appreciative of what really matters in life - so there's that. If something comes up again like this how would I handle it? I think I'd freak out all over again. I'm not proud of what I just wrote above...I've not handled this well at all...not at all. I guess I don't know how to get from "here" to "there" and I don't know what "there" should look like because it legitimately feels as if I should have freaked out under the circumstances. Edit as I've given this more thought: My husband has had an itchy rash off and on for going on 2 years now (at least) It comes and goes. It looks terrible. He refuses to go to the doctor about it. He's happy as a clam. So who is smarter? Perhaps he is. I suspect, though, that a prudent, yet not anxious person, would not take either extreme (his or mine). They'd probably get checked out, calmly and then if they were told it's okay, they'd believe the doctor and go on about their life.
  18. To add to what BeautifulDisaster said here, take a look back at the process and what you were going through, the thoughts and issues you had. What did you do that was healthy versus unhealthy. If something like this comes up again, how would you handle it? The first lesson about anxiety I learned was "How I think determines how I feel" - well, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
  19. Well that should make you feel better that he had the biopsy test for all kinds of things and it all came back negative. It is also great that it is getting lighter. You won’t notice it so much because I am sure you are looking at it often and the anxiety will make you see it worse than it really is. this is a good time to practice trust in your body. Everything was thoroughly checked out. He doesn’t know what it is exactly but knows it isn’t anything life threatening. So now you trust your body to heal it to whatever degree it does and then you trust that it is ok even if it takes forever to fade. Sometimes we don’t get the answers, and that’s ok. But you know for sure what it isn’t, and that should bring you peace of mind. Yes please keep us updated!!
  20. So I had my stitches out today as I had popped a stitch anyway and the doctor went over everything again. He reassured me that this was not going to kill me. He went over every scary thing that they tested for ...some things I didn't even know about...everything was good...nothing bad. That's not to say that anyone knows what it is per se. He did say that he thinks it's about 50% better than when he saw it last time. To me it looks exactly the same. Anyhow, he said I'm supposed to see him again in 3 weeks to monitor how it's fading and make sure that it continues to fade. He continued to say that his prediction is that "something" caused this but we may never know what or why and that it will go away eventually. He's certainly being very nice and very cautious. Getting the stitches out was no joke but I'm glad we're at this point. I'll make sure to note the progress here for all of us and for some desperate person in the future with something similar looking for reassurance, ideas, etc... Thank you in particular to BeautifulDisaster and Ironman who have stood by me like the champions that they are.
  21. It is possible that you may always have coloring there. May stick around for a while. May never know what it is. But that is all ok be you have been thoroughly checked.
  22. Not gonna lie...I wish it would just go away already. Sigh...but I'm trying to be logical. I must agree...I don't know of any other test that could be run...so...you know. I have to just wait. Thank you, BeautifulDisaster, for all you've done for me!
  23. Yes!! Let it go- because you know it was thoroughly looked at and all is well! Sometimes we don’t always find the answers and that’s ok but you know it is nothing that needs treated. Time to let go.
  24. It's like you're totally in my head, BeautifulDisaster...I have to let it go.
  25. It’s going to look the same to you because of the anxiety. I have been there before. And when you keep looking and looking you won’t see any changes because you are looking so much. And with all of the anxiety you had around it waiting and waiting and being scared by the drs, you aren’t going to see the subtle changes. Your husband, who is more clear minded right now and not constantly looking, can see the changes. And to be honest, it doesn’t matter if it changes because 4 drs have seen it and the last one thoroughly checked you out, biopsied, and asked the pathologist to check for every scary possible thing - and it’s not. So to be truthful…. It doesn’t matter right now how fast it is going away or changing or even what it is because we know what it is not. Skin also is very sensitive to anxiety and it could be taking a while simply from all of the very high stress levels you have been under. But overall…. It doesn’t matter for all that I have said above. This is a good time now to practice letting go and allowing the body to show you it can heal on it’s own
  26. I have to have the stitches removed still...but no ...he didn't want me to do anything. He didn't want to give me any meds or creams or anything. He just wanted for my body to heal on its own in its own time. I told him my husband thought it was lighter and he said that was good. Still looks the same to me. I told him that as well. Thank you for your encouragement. My HA mind still tortures me on it, of course, but I have to let it go and give it time. And yes...I'll never go back to that mammo place ever again ever.
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