Feeling helpless

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Hi guys, i'm new here...

I'm starting to feel helpless about my condition... I have hypochondriac which induces panic attacks...


sometimes i feel brain foggy, sometimes a sharp pain in my heart/lung, sometimes my heart starts beating fast, sometimes i have fear and the other symptoms without a high heart rate. It almost happens only when i'm at home, as i have some problems with my family and there is a lot of stress associated with this place... but even when i don't fight at home it happens...


i just wanna cry.. sometimes i feel like i'm havind cardiac failure, stroke or something like that...


i've treated myself between September 2015 to July 2016 with sertraline and valium or xanax... it helped me but i got really addicted to the benzodiazepines, and i dropped out of college because i had memory problems...


since July i was trying to help myself without medications, i did selfhypnosis, meditation, then on October i started taking shrooms every friday and it gave me good anxiety relief that lasted for the week... on december i stopped taking everything and stopped meditating...


then there was a day which i felt a bit breathless, and with a heart sensation.. i have gone to the PS [ER here in Brazil] and i got some x-rays and ECG... everything was good and i was put again in xanax, i've got a script for 120 pills for 2-4 months, but i abused it and it lasted only 11 days, i've quit cold turkey in 01/8 and i suffered a lot... the withdrawal symptoms has subsidized i think [or not?], but since then i'm getting some kind of sharp pain in my heart, that reaches middle back, and i'm getting a lot of panic...

everyday i feel like this, and always at night is worse... the only day which i don't feel like this is at friday, that is when i hang out with some friends to smoke pot, take E or use ketamine [my drug use is very social. spaced, and i don't mix anything and i use small quantities for fear of feeling bad]... so basically i feel this only at my home, in the day is less worse than in the night...

Do someone feels like this/ What should I do? I was thinkin of getting back to the benzodiazepines, but letting my brother or mother control the stock so i don't abuse it...

sorry for my english, i'm not native to this language and i'm feeling really bad right now


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Your English is excellent!  Very well written and concise! 

Wow, I don't know anything about those drugs that are illegal in the U.S. so don't know if they can cause heart pains, but it sounds to me like home is NOT where the heart is for you!  Why all the fighting? 

So, most of the meds the doctor gave you have a short half life.  I take Klonopin which is a benzo and has a long half life.  I take a small dose and have never needed an increase in dosage. I actually forget to take it many days after my dose with my morning vitamins.  It's a drug that's used for seizure, migraines and anxiety.  In the U.S., you're only allowed a 30 day supply at a time.  Whatever you're given, I'd suggest you ask for fewer pills and have someone lock them up and only give you one at a specific time, such as 7, 3 and bedtime so you can't abuse them.  

I really am blown away by your admittance to use of all the other drugs. Are they legal in Brazil?  I know ketamine is an animal tranquilizer because a previous vet got caught using it on himself and lost his veterinary license and went to jail. Twice. 

The discomfort in your chest, going into your back could be so many things from indigestion, a pulled muscle, anxiety but since I don't know anything about the other drugs, I can't say if those might cause anything heart related.  I do hope you'll reconsider your social use of drugs, possibly find a therapist and get cleaned up so you can get back in college and away from your home life.  

Best of luck,


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