Hi guys, i'm new here...
I'm starting to feel helpless about my condition... I have hypochondriac which induces panic attacks...
sometimes i feel brain foggy, sometimes a sharp pain in my heart/lung, sometimes my heart starts beating fast, sometimes i have fear and the other symptoms without a high heart rate. It almost happens only when i'm at home, as i have some problems with my family and there is a lot of stress associated with this place... but even when i don't fight at home it happens...
i just wanna cry.. sometimes i feel like i'm havind cardiac failure, stroke or something like that...
i've treated myself between September 2015 to July 2016 with sertraline and valium or xanax... it helped me but i got really addicted to the benzodiazepines, and i dropped out of college because i had memory problems...
since July i was trying to help myself without medications, i did selfhypnosis, meditation, then on October i started taking shrooms every friday and it gave me good anxiety relief that lasted for the week... on december i stopped taking everything and stopped meditating...
then there was a day which i felt a bit breathless, and with a heart sensation.. i have gone to the PS [ER here in Brazil] and i got some x-rays and ECG... everything was good and i was put again in xanax, i've got a script for 120 pills for 2-4 months, but i abused it and it lasted only 11 days, i've quit cold turkey in 01/8 and i suffered a lot... the withdrawal symptoms has subsidized i think [or not?], but since then i'm getting some kind of sharp pain in my heart, that reaches middle back, and i'm getting a lot of panic...
everyday i feel like this, and always at night is worse... the only day which i don't feel like this is at friday, that is when i hang out with some friends to smoke pot, take E or use ketamine [my drug use is very social. spaced, and i don't mix anything and i use small quantities for fear of feeling bad]... so basically i feel this only at my home, in the day is less worse than in the night...
Do someone feels like this/ What should I do? I was thinkin of getting back to the benzodiazepines, but letting my brother or mother control the stock so i don't abuse it...
sorry for my english, i'm not native to this language and i'm feeling really bad right now