Looking for help

[NickOfTime 0]

So here it goes. My name is nick and About 2 weeks ago, I was just relaxing on the couch looking at my phone and out of no where I was hit with a sudden panic attack. Like always it went away until I went over to a friends house to watch a football game. The minute I got there I started having a really bad panic attack again so I figured I would have a few drinks and it would go away. Unfortunately it never went away so I called my wife and had her come get me right away. I figured once I got home I would calm down but I couldn't so I went to the ER. I felt dumb because I didn't know what to tell them other then I didn't feel like myself. Even after I left the ER I did not feel any better. I started to feel like I was having a out of body experience and for some reason thought I was losing my eye sight. I was finally able to get to sleep that night but I woke up in a panic cause I still didn't feel like my self. So I got scheduled with my regular doctor and he gave me anti depressents and anxiety pills. I couldn't do anything for the first week like go into stores or anywhere other then home without feeling completely lost and just didn't feel like I was myself. On top of it all I thought I was losing my vision so I was constantly focusing on everything to see if I could read it or see things normaly. I had the dr check my eyes and he said they were very healthy. Also for the first week or so I lost complete emotion towards everything and felt like a robot. I didn't even wanna be around my kids cause all I could worry about was how I was feeling. I'm a very emotional person so losing my emotions was very scary to me. All I wanted was to go to sleep and wake up and be myself again. I also lost my concentration and one thing lead to another. First I thought I was feeling this way cause I had a brain tumor and now I think I have tyroid c****r because I read that it conects to depression. Now I can't do anything cause all I'm doing is worrying about so many things that could be wrong with me. I guess I'm just in doubht that major depression and anxiety could just hit me out of no where without any reasoning. Has anyone ever had a simular experience where they just didn't feel like them selves or feel like a robot. To much to explain, just need someone to talk about that's been through something simular. Any help is much appreciated. 

 

[walkingwithGod 169]

Hi there and welcome to the AC... and the answer to your question is YES!! Mine hit me out of the blue. I was fine on Saturday, did my normal thing, everything was fine, I felt fine. On Sunday morning I woke up with chest pains, heart palps, dizzy, lightheaded, just felt really off. This lasted all day, I thought I was having a heart attack and called my friend who is a nurse and she came over and checked me out. My BP was up a little and my heart rate was up but she said it wasn't a heart attack it was a panic attack and to go see my doctor. So I went that very next day (monday) and had another panic attack on the way there and in the doctors office, again thinking it was a heart attack. EKG and everything was fine, doc said panic attack and gave me anxiety med. The first week, I couldn't eat, sleep, drive or do anything basically. For the first couple of months, I couldn't be in the house without another person old enough to drive there with me.. but then it started getting better. I went from sleeping like 20-30 min at a time to maybe 2 hours at a time, and now I sleep most of the night. 

Hang in there, It will get better. The non-emotions or feeling like a robot could be due to the med(s) you are taking also.

I will say this - you have got to stay away from Dr. Google... Dr. Google will convince a person not suffering from anxiety that they are dying or have all sorts of diseases and terminal illnesses so imagine what it does to a person with anxiety whose mind is way more suggestive than a non sufferer.... listen to your doctor, not the internet!! That is so important for people with anxiety, especially when it stems around your health!  I googled for the first couple months and was convinced I had all sorts of things.. which scared me even more which made my anxiety and panic worse... it's a cycle - fear/anxiety/more fear/more anxiety/panic/fear etc......   its a cycle that needs to be broken.

Everyone on here is great and we all understand what you are going through!  We are here for you

Wendi

[Mark G 1186]

Hello, welcome to AC.

 

I agree entirely with Wendi, stay away from Dr Google.  I could write a novel about the dangers of that website.

My anxiety also came out of the blue in exactly the same way yours did.  I rush of adrenalin and a full blown panic attack.  I didn't know what a panic attack was so i was terrified.  The events from then almost exactly match yours, the fear, the studying symptoms, the eye thing.  Everything you have described perfectly match anxiety and it's workings.  You now fear the fear of symptoms and this is what keeps anxiety and panic going.   The robot feeling is called depersonalization and derealisation and is perfectly normal in anxiety.  Notice how your emotions seem to have gone but your negative fearful side is working strong right?  This site is full of decent advice from decent people who have all been there and done it.  This is a great community where we're all here for each other.  Hang on in there, read the posts and articles and you can't go wrong.  Any question or just a chat?  PM me, i'm happy to help.  All the best.

[NickOfTime 0]

Thank you guys for your words of wisdom. It helped me get through most of the day without hardly any anxiety. I totally forgot about my eyes and saw everything perfect all day. Now I'm stuck back on worrying about my eyes and feels like I can't see anything normal again. Is this just in my head. How do I get rid of this everytime I get a panic attack? I know deep down its just because of my anxiety but I can't help my self from worrying that it won't go away. I focus on my eyes so much I notice every light beam, shadow, reflection which then leads me to see double vision sometimes. Then I can't help but to think their is some illness that is causing this. Anyway of controlling this? It's taking over my life. 

[rainbow 333]

hi nick

i don't suffer from panic attacks, but i do suffer from anxiety, i have pretty much all my life and i am almost 43. having said... i too used to over analyse every sensation, every pain in my body, any mark etc etc..... i used to google too...BIG NO NO...everyone on this site will tell you that. 

you need to learn to relax, i know easier said than done. but have a look around the site... there is a forum on  coping techniques, check that outand anything else you may feel benefit you. 

good luck you will get over this....one day a time.... as they say 

p.s. my brother suffered from panic attacks, he did a breathing, muscle relaxation and mediation tape many years ago. at least 3x's a day for 6 months and he is now panic free....but it does take persistance and dedication...there is no quick fix !!

Edited October 30, 2015 by rainbow

[NickOfTime 0]

Sorry to keep bugging you guys like this but I'm really scared. Ever since I went to the dr and he put me on anxiety and depression meds. My constant thing was to keep looking up things about depression and anxiety. My constant worry is that I was misdiagnosed and have something wrong with my tyroid. Its hard for me to even stay in the shower very long cause I think my hair will start falling out and I keep looking at my hat to see if I've lost hair. I notice hair strands in my hat and freak out some more. I don't know what other sympthoms are of tyroid problems cause I'm scared to look it up. I've been to my regular doctor twice and I even had him look in my eyes (which he said we're good) I didn't have any problem with my vision or lights before I had my big panic attack and before my big panic attack I didn't feel all that depressed so I'm in doubht depression could just hit me out of no where. If the doctor thought something was wrong with my tyroid he would of checked for it right?  I'm just so scared and I don't know who else to go to. I go for an eye exam tomorrow and back to my Dr thursday. I'm worried he will tell me that I haven't made improvement on my medication so then he'll tell me he thinks I have something more wrong. I know my eyes were probably my fight or flight response when I had my panic attack but now they our all I concentrate on. Like was that light always that bright? I know I'm rambling on but I'm so scared idk what else to do but come on this sight. 

 

[Mark G 1186]

Deep breath,  calm down.   This is anxiety.   You have been looking up thyroid issues on the dreaded Dr Google haven't you. You have not been misdiagnosed,  you are letting anxiety scare you.   You are reading things,  matching the symptoms and panicking over them.  Constant trips to the opticians and doctors will not quench this fear you have,  you can go 100 times and still the fear will return.   It's about state of mind,  your mindset is locked in panic.   You are panicking about possibilities and believing symptoms from websites set up to make money from you yet, you still believe them over a doctor.   That is anxiety for you,  you are following the same traits many others are.  You are believing baseless thoughts, do not react to them,  reacting validates them.   You are fine,  even though you do not feel it,  if you relax back and see these thoughts and fears for what they are,  you are fine.  Your eyes are reacting to anxiety,  your introspective gaze is enhancing your sensation and even your sensitivity to light.   After all,  you are in fight or flight,  your limbic system is in control of your thoughts instead of the usual parasympathetic system.  Your sensations are anxiety based,  this is a certainty.   Now deep breaths,  drop the shoulders and relax back. 

[Jenniferhop 17]

Hi Nickoftime,

when were you put in Meds? They take time to work. Mine took 6 weeks. For your thyroid there is blood work for that and if you told your dr. That you were concerned about it I'm sure he did the blood work.  Try to calm yourself down by breathing.  And doing something relaxing. 

Good luck with your apt. Keep me updated.  I'm here if you need to talk.  You will be in my prayers.

[NickOfTime 0]

Is it possible for my anxiety to make me feel like I'm suffering from depersonalizion? Like thinking you have it, can it make you feel like you have it? Hope that make sense. 

[Mark G 1186]

It's a typical symptom. denationalization happen when the mind is tired, it's a defense mechanism employed by the brain to shield you from bad sensations.  The only problem is, it feels horrible so doesn't help. 

[NickOfTime 0]

Will I ever get out of this state of mind? It's a terrible feeling. I just want to get back to my normal self and feel the emotions I once felt and see the world as I once saw it. 

[camginge 17]

My anxiety meds caused a LOT of hair loss in the beginning of the treatment. That could be why you feel like you are losing a lot of hair!!!

I have a real fear of the shower as well, because I am afraid of feeling a lump or something somewhere on my body. For the longest time I would avoid the shower for as long as possible and then use the thickest wash cloth I had to not come in contact with my skin.....sounds crazy but that was the way it was. I have taken it in baby steps. I made a plan for myself to first take a shower for 5 minutes every second day using the cloth, then for 5 minutes without using the cloth on the less "scary" parts of my body.......for months I did it like that, slowly increasing the time and now I shower every day without my washcloth. It is still uncomfortable, but a lot better. I find that making these plans for myself about the hard things, helps me, because then I feel like I am at least doing something. Some days it is fine and other days it is as bad as ever, and I accept the bad days!!! Or at least I try!

 Hang in there.