lonesailor14

New to Anxiety or Panic & bewildered? This is for you.

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Hi Renzo

Welcome to AC. You're on a great site here with people who understand. It's a good thing you've reached out. Anxiety and panic are confusing and you need not go it alone. This site helped me immensly. 

I found I got much better when I had more of an understanding of what was going on. What does it mean to have anxiety? Why do people get panic attacks? What can you do about it? 

Once I'd figured these things out, I began to recover and manage my anxiety. 

The things that helped me most were finding any information by Dr Claire Weekes. We have some threads on here with her tips. If you can find her books, do that!  Secondly a site called panicend.com, it helped me get my head around panic attacks. Another thing is cognitive behavious therapy. Your doctor should be able to set that up for you with a referal to a therapist. Lastly I realised, there is nothing physically wrong with me, nor mentally. I was just anxious about being anxious. There was no other stress or trauma in my life, just panic attacks. I spent my life fearing them, forever on gaurd in case another one came on. This tension made them eventually happen. I was mentally trying to stop them and my body physically tensed all the time, on gaurd. Until one day I stopped all that, let them come and broke the cycle of tension, apprehension and fear. They soon move on after that. 

I hope this helps. Feel free to post questions and start new threads. Someone will almost always answer you. We have some clever and caring people on here that have been where you are. Just be aware these clever people are from all over the world so there may be a time delay before you see a response. For now just explore the site, there's a heap of great info around in the answers to questions others have asked. 

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Hi, My name is Kristy and I just joined from a recommendation from a friend. Thank you for the above post, there was insight that I wasn't aware of. I've only been dealing with bad ptsd and anxiety for eight months... But already I see it affecting many areas of my life. I hope to find help and support here, looking forward to talking with you all too!

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Hi there Kristy. A warm welcome to AC. :).

I am so glad your friend recommended you here. We are a great bunch of guys and girls, (yes we are :p),  who have been where you are now and so speak from experience not theory. No judgements or criticism here, so you can really feel at home.

I've only been dealing with bad ptsd and anxiety for eight months

If you want to talk about your PTSD or anything else that worries you rest assured it will be treated very seriously. We know only too well how adverse criticism can affect the anxiety sufferer. Life throws many nasty curves our way and we often need help and support and you will get that here. Have a good browse round the site and see how others have coped and come back if you want to talk more.

If you look under 'Articles' you will find more posts by 'sailor'. Read them, she knows what she is talking about.    Best wishes.       Jon.

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Hi Kristy, I'm sorry you're having a rough time. This is a temporary time and I say that all the time but it is very imporant to remember. You say only 8 months but that can seem a really long time when you're in the middle of it.  

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Hey Guys . I just stopped taking ativan for 3 days now. And im experiencing lackless and dreamless sleep. My brain feels like a zombie right now and my body is aching in all different places. I just want to find someone to relate to how i feel atm. I feel so depressed and clueless atm.

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Hi 

You've come to the right place. This is a great site with people who totally understand and have been there. 

Feel free to start a post, share any problems you're having or comment on other posts, even if it's just to say "I know how you feel".  We all try to help each other out and offer advice when we can. 

For now, keep reading through the site, you might find some answers, especially in the recommended reading section. You definitely can recover from this. It takes time but it can be done. Don't lose hope. The best place start is read, learn, educate yourself as best you can. AC is a great place to begin. 

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Hi, I'm Gabby and I'm completely new to all of this, including my anxiety. It started out of nowhere 6 months ago and now that I've realized it, it seems to be getting worse each day.

I don't have family or friends that understand what I'm going through, they think I'm just exaggerating or overreacting and it's really frustrating..

Hope joining here will help!

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Hi Gabby. Welcome to AC. :).

So sorry to hear you are suffering but you are in the right place and in safe hands. We ALL know exactly how you feel because we have all been there, where you are now, so you are NOT alone by any means. Have a good look round the site. So much useful info. Read the Articles and posts and see how others have coped and have got well or are getting there.

It started out of nowhere 6 months ago and now that I've realized it, it seems to be getting worse each day.

There is only one way anxiety can get worse and that's by adding fuel to the fire. When you are anxious you become afraid of your own feelings. You feel bad so you tense up and, in doing that, you increase the flow of adrenaline and add more fear. Anxiety is fear based. No fear no anxiety! But fear is a useful thing to have because it prevents us doing stupid harmful things to ourselves. It's the misplaced fear in anxiety that causes the distress. But what are you afraid of? If you look at it you will find it's the fear of how you feel. It's perceived fear and not actual.

Unless you have a problem in life that needs resolution, what are you afraid of?

We inherited from our caveman ancestors the fight/flight mechanism. This was fine when being chased by a wild animal but that does not apply to us. When the danger was over caveman went about his business, the fear is forgotten. We don't forget because we have no means of dissipating the fear. We can't run away or fight, so the fear and it's symptoms stay with us.

I don't have family or friends that understand what I'm going through, they think I'm just exaggerating or overreacting and it's really frustrating.

I am sorry to say that that is so common a cry from the nervously ill. Unless you have felt the full force of anxiety you can NEVER really know what it's like. To talk to anyone about it is a waste of time. Many will sympathise and even be kind and helpful, but will never really know. You have to be discerning in whom you confide. Make sure they have at least a remote idea about how you feel. 'Snap out of it'. 'Pull yourself together'. ' Don't be so silly'. Heard them all!!, we all have, so don't let it worry you.  They have no understanding of what they are talking about. Good counselling or therapy can be so helpful, and combined with short term medication can work wonders. We are happy to have you here and if you want to vent, have a go, get rid of your frustrations, this is the place. Best wishes.

 

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I am not sure if someone else has ever felt something so rediculous as mine but I'll share anyways. I was diagnosed with GAD and on medications. My GAD tend to come and go, but what I dont understand is the reason. I got married couple of months ago and even though I always wanted to get married and have a loving partner which I do, I have these repetative negative thoughts in my mind that mayby when she comes (she is out of the country waiting immigration) I will have a lot on me, I won't have time, there will be lot of problems since I sometimes dont talk much and she loves to talk, and I might start having panic attacks when looking at her. We chat great over skype and everything and we love each other but its just this negative thought of having her around always will make me crazy or increase my anxiety even though I dont know why I feel like that since she is so sweet and loving. I don't know if these are normal marriage thoughts or my GAD. I just dont want to think or feel like this and just want to feel comfortable with my wife and look to her as my saviour and someone I can goto when I have this. But, I am afraid if I tell her these are my thoughts, she might think I don't love her and will hurt her bad since they are related to her so all of these things just keep running in my mind and make me even more stressed and depressed. Any help is appreciated.

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Hi Rizman

Your thoughts sound perfectly normal. 

What you've got here is a classic case of the "what if's?"

"What if this happens?" ... "What if that happens?"... "What if I do this?"... "What if I do that?"

The thing with "what if's" is they are imaginary. A future event which may or may not happen. They're an anxiety provoking thought and the silliest thing is they aren't real! None of these things have happened. None of it is happening right now!

Even sillier is we tend to avoid places, people, events and life because of the fear of these things which aren't actually happening!

An example is when I was very bad with anxiety and panic attacks... My nephews wanted me to take them fishing. They're only small 7 year olds. Beforehand I had the "what if's". "What if they fall in the river?". " What if I panic and can't look after them?"." What if, what if, what if?" on and on my thoughts went, I became more and more anxious. I was about to cancel when I thought "stuff this! I want to go fishing. I want to be normal. I want to spend time with the kids". I got angry. Then I realised none of my fears were real. None of them were actually happening right now. I was making myself anxious over things that weren't even happening! They're thoughts. They are not reality. Then I thought "what if I go & we have a great time?". There is just as much, no, more chance of that happening than all of the other "what if's" I had thought. I went. We had a great time. 

This is fact verses fiction. The "what if" thoughts are fiction. What is actually happening right now in this present moment is fact. When you observe and compare the facts verse fiction you'll find the things you fear verses what actually happens are always different. You may think for example..."I don't want to go to the store because I'll have a panic attack", but if you recall how many times you've been to the store in your life and not panicked, there's your facts! You've probably been to a store a million times and never panicked. But a few times you have. Fact vs fiction =1 million fine trips to the store vs a few panicky ones. Why do we pick the few times it didn't go smoothly and ignore the million times it did? 

Catch yourself out when you are having these "what if" thoughts. Then bring your mind back to the present. The only time you can actually be alive is right now, right in the present moment. The past is gone and the future hasn't happened yet and it almost never turns out the way you think it will. You can only deal with right now. Right now what is happening? Most likely nothing. Right now, you are fine. Now is the only time you can do anything, deal with anything and you will. If something happened right now & needed your attention, you would deal with it. You always have. With anxiety or without it. 

If you're going to live in the future, at least attempt to turn your thoughts around. "What if...." your wife turns up and is amazing? What if you and her have heaps of fun? What if she understands anxiety? What if she loves you anyway? 

P.S. It's ok to tell her you have anxiety and panic attacks. You don't have to tell her it's because of her. You can say it's because you just want everything to be perfect for her. Tell her when you are anxious it would help if she were the one to be the calm and logical one, to keep you grounded and living in the present. 

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Hello

im new here. I have started having panic attacks again recently. It is scary.

they r becoming more frequent and longer. I am in therapy. But when the night falls it becomes unbearable.

i don't know how to use the chat room here to talk to fellow users. Can some one help me.. I'm desperate and very alone.

thank u

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Hi Anxietypanic

We'll try to help the best we can. 

I'm sorry to hear you're suffering so much. Panic attacks suck!

A site that really helped me when I was at my worst was www.panicend.com

I'd suggest giving it a read. 

Panic attacks are like quicksand. The more you fight and struggle against them, the more fear you add, the worse they get. The trick to overcoming them is facing them with a calm, but bring it on attitude. Sounds crazy I know! But with practice and training you can overcome them. 

The hard part is getting to a place where you no longer fear them. You see what happens is we feel something, a symptom like a tight chest or a a little lighted headed and straight away tense up and become fearful that a panic attack is about to begin. This is what's called adding second fear. This reaction, adding second fear, then gives the brain a signal that we are in danger (when we really aren't) and fight or flight kicks in, adding more adrenalin and making our body ready to fight or flee. We then feel all sorts of things happening in our body like heart racing, shallow breathing, tight chest and this makes us more fearful. Now you're adding more fear! The fear feeds the cycle and like quicksand the more fear the worse it gets. 

If you can teach yourself not to react to that first little symptom, to relax and just calmly observe what's going on, you'll have found the off switch. This takes time. You have to be very mindful and observant. Observe what you feel that triggers you to become so tense. Is it lightheadedness? Is it a heart palpitation? There will be something small that you feel, that grabs your attention and puts you on high alert. Observe yourself, find out what it is. Maybe you already know. 

Now when you observe that thing, whatever it is, observe your reaction to it. Do you automatically jump to the "omg" stage and start panicking that you're about to panic? Do you have thoughts of "oh no not now" or "not again!". It's your thoughts at this moment that turn on fight or flight. Instead of reacting with terror, just calmly observe whether a panic attack is indeed coming on or whether it was a false alarm. Just a tingle in your body. 

Panic attacks are predictable when you know their pattern. Your heart will race, that's fine. Our hearts are built for tougher stuff than this. Let it race. 

Your breathing might speed up. That's cool too, it's no different to exercise, just let it be. 

You may feel light headed but it will pass in seconds. 

Your mind will start to tell you "get out if here" or "it's real this time, this time it really is medical" it's just fight or flight telling you to run. An automatic reaction from the days where humans had to watch out for prey. It's just a thought. Though it feels real it isn't. 

The next time you start to panic don't look at it as a bad thing. Look at it as a chance to observe what I've said above. Look at it as an opportunity to practice being calm and facing it. Be a scientist, observe the data and learn from it next time. 

This all takes time and practice. One day you'll get it! Until then don't give up! You might not get it overnight but you will heal eventually. You'll get good at observing and not reacting. 

The answer will come the day it no longer matters to you whether panic is there or not. Panic can come if it likes, you will calmly face it and get on with your day. You'll get there! In the meantime AC is here to help if you have questions. 

 

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Tears roll down my face as i read this.. my first thought was.. finally.. some one is listening to me :(

thank you. this means sooooo much to me.

Due to the anxiety and stress that i am going through, my IBS is very acute and my endrometriosis is also acting up., I have nausea,  headaches sleepless nights. I am exhausted, going to work everyday is so very difficult. just two days ago i had a panic attack as i was driving back from work. It kept getting worse. i was choking then crying then screaming at the top of my lungs - for like 10 mins. It was so very painful i thought my heart would explod by head was exploding with pain.

So this anxiety is not just giving me panic attacks it is making me very physically sick :(

I am going through therapy but i have no support at home - with my family or friends i can talk to - so i have no one to talk to. no one to share this with.

if i had someone i think it wont be this bad. i am alone. my life is a big mess and i cant tell anyone. i have to pretend im ok. it is exhausting.

 

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Please also tell me how i can enter a chat room.

At times im going crazy and cant sleep and keep feeling sick, id like to be able to chat at that time.

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Thanks for the link Gilly?

AnxietyPanic,

Feel free to send me a private message if you like. It's not as instant as the chat room. We're from all over the world so there is a time difference but I will write back eventually. 

I've been where you are, we can get through this. One step at a time❤

Did you read the panicend website? Did it help? 

The panic attacks can make you become anxious during your day because you're always on edge fearing the next attack. This anxiety does make you feel sick. All sorts of random things start to flare up. It's nothing to worry about though, just harmless anxiety making you think you're worse than you actually are. 

Once you learn to calm down it all levels out and you'll eventually feel better again. 

Hang in there! 

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If LS doesn't mind!! She is Aus and those lazy ones are still asleep or getting ready for bed!! I am getting ready for lunch and if you are in the US you will be getting up. A crazy world!!

If someone sends you a message it should appear initially as 'You have a message' at the bottom of the page. After that you will see a number on the little envelope at the top right of your screen telling you how many messages you have. Click on that and the message(s) will come up. Sometimes, not often, a number does not appear, but click on the envelope anyway, it WILL come up. To send a message you can type on the REPLY box at the bottom of the page and click 'Submit Reply'.

To send a NEW message click the envelope then 'Compose New'. A box will come up for the message. You put the profile name of the recipient in the box and a title. For instance, 'Hi there'. Then, again when you have said what you want, click 'Submit Reply'. OK? 'High here' will be the title to which you will send and reply to further messages to keep the conversation going, if you wish. OK?

 

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Thanks Jonathan! 

You're right, nearly 11pm and sleepy time for this Aussie.

AnxietyPanic is all over it! Hopefully we'll talk again soon. ?

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I spent about 10 years on Zoloft for "anxiety", mostly because I would get unreasonably, irrationally angry over things that were really not things to get worked up about. Worked oh so well, I actually wish I had looked into it while my children were younger because I know I could be a holy terror as a mother at times. Anyway, my husband was diagnosed with essentially the same thing, but one day decided he really didn't need to take any medication for it, he was "all cured" and, like a dummy, I decided that if he was all better, by golly, so was I. That was back in June or July. Just about the time I found out he had been carrying on an online flirtation/affair/whatever with an old girlfriend from high school. I held it together for the most part, mentally but not necessarily financially because I was in panic mode, didn't know what he was doing, planning to do, what I would have to do, etc. Took a second job (which I actually loved, always had cash in my pocket and was able to at least keep up). Well, in November, I had a gall bladder attack, spent one day in the emergency room and found out that I had a huge tumor of some sort on one of my adrenal glands, no idea what it was but suddenly I'm scheduled for all sorts of tests and specialists and surgeries. And - THE PANIC AND ANXIETY CAME HOME TO ROOST. Big time. Worry about money. Worry about work. Worry about having no place to go and nobody to take care of me. (Foolish, because I do have kids who wouldn't let me live on the street even if that was a real concern.) But - there it was. Even on the days when I managed to tamp all the worries down, my mind would worm its way to the bottom of the pile and say "well, what about this? What if this happens? Hmmm?" The period of time from November until this minute has been excruciating. Draining. I did go to the doctor yesterday, he gave me another prescription for Zoloft and some Clonopin to tide me over until the dosage kicks in. But I still have nobody who understands. Husband is sort of a "pat pat, it's all right" sort of person. All my friends are at work, and I won't be back at work until next week. Kids understand, but they have their own lives. So I came here. Maybe someone can relate.

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Hi Uncivilized01

I can understand! It sounds like you've actually had something to worry about! I hope you're feeling better and have the gallbladder sorted out. 

Being up in the air with your husband is a real issue! Whether you break up or stay together, either way the unknown is going to give you anxiety. 

You're health problems would certainly cause anxiety. Do you have a prognosis, a clear treatment plan. What happens now?

Being off of work is always a worry too. Hopefully your employers are understanding but these days, you never know. This causes anxiety. 

All of this has gone on and you've developed a bit of anxiety!!!! I wonder why?

Look, you've had a rough time. Life is really being a dick to you right now. Accept the anxiety. It's meant to be there. Don't fight it. Don't be alarmed or surprised by it. Let it come. Accept it. 

Struggling or fighting it off will only make it worse. Don't be so hard on yourself. Stop trying to feel different. 

I'm afraid of heights. When I go up high, my body and mind reacts accordingly with fear and fight or flight. I don't expect any other reaction. I'm afraid of heights. So if I go up high, I fully expect an accept the feeling of fear to arise in me. It's a normal reaction to fear. 

You have just climbed 50 Eiffel towers. Your body and mind are reacting exactly the way they're expected to. Accept the anxiety, accept you've been through a lot and may have more to come. You're allowed to be a little stressed. You're allowed to be a lot stressed. You're allowed to let it in. 

 

 

 

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Hi lonesailor14 - 

Well, I get the staples out tomorrow, and hopefully go back to work on Friday, so that will be one brick off the load on my mind. I started back on my Zoloft, and it's made a difference - I can turn the irrational stuff off for a little while and focus on the things I know I can control. The feeling of being "not in control" is probably the worst thing imaginable. I'm not exactly a control freak, but I do prefer having a plan to not having one. The tumor they removed from my adrenal gland is still wending its way through Pathology, so I'm still not sure if it was just some benign anomaly or something else I need to worry about. (See? More worry...)

We shall see what we shall see, I suppose. Thank you for your words of support - they mean a lot to me. I sometimes feel like I'm drowning in a sea of other peoples' "good intentions", like they've never been anxious or worried a day in their lives and don't want to be around anybody who is. 

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On 5/12/2015 at 0:25 AM, DenimKnight said:

hm you  need to reply on one of the topics of the forum. A meaningful reply though just to make it sure you're real.

Like this. May I have access now?

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26 minutes ago, Shiba said:

Like this. May I have access now?

Are you trying to join the chat room?  There's directions on the main page.  I went in once and no one was chatting so I just left.  

 

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27 minutes ago, Shiba said:

Like this. May I have access now?

To be able to gain access to the Chat Room we ask that you post at least 1 meaningful post on the forum. This is to create a comfortable environment for our members and to prevent spam. A good way to do this is to introduce yourself, you can do that here - http://www.anxiety-central.com/index.php/forum/23-introduce-yourself/ You can of course post in other areas of the forum if you wish.

 

Your post must be meaningful, just a few words will not be accepted. 

 

Once your post is accepted you will be given automatic access to the Chat Room. 

The Chat Room can be accessed here http://www.anxiety-central.com/index.php?/chat/

Thank you.

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