Depressed about age

[Worrygirl86 3]

I’m gonna be 35 in the fall and as a woman I feel such sadness as I’ve read how the world thinks your old at this age. Not gonna even talk about all the hate online guys seem to have for women over 35 seems no guys find this age attractive. I think I actually look better now but since my age I should feel less than younger women. Guys seem obsessed with fertility and determining which women to do date based on it. What bothers me the most is that all this articles are about how 35 is suddenly different than first half of 30s making me feel I’m gonna all of sudden lose my fertility start to look older have saggy skin and every other negative aging crap. Am I supposed to believe this if this is true then I don’t know what to do since I didn’t get  to live my teens 20s because of my anxiety this is an insult to think even if I fix my life it’s too late since I’m too old. I feel that 35 is too young to have all those things these articles say and it’s scaring the hell out me and I just don’t see anything good to look forward to. Any advice women my age older is this stuff true

[Ironman 192]

Try turning 46 and still being single.  It never goes away. 

Learn to like yourself now.  Don't worry about the rest.

[jonathan123 2368]

Oh my goodness. 35!!!!! my God!!!!! Come on!!!! 35 is young!!!!!!!!!!! I am getting on for over twice your age and still feel 30. AGE IS A NUMBER. YES it is, and that's all it is. In the UK earlier this year we had an old guy who was 99 doing a walk a hundred times round his garden to raise money for the NHS. He was knighted by the Queen for his efforts. It's what's in your mind that counts. Some of the greatest people have been old when they have invented some of the worlds most useful scientific works. As for dating guys, well, if a man wants you and is only concerned with your age and looks keep well away. Anyone that really wants you will accept you as you are irrespective of age or looks. They say ' love is blind' and it is. Who gives a damn about a load of morons who only regard a woman as a sex object? The world is full of them. It is also full of good respectful guys who value a woman for what she is. A woman has to be discerning in her choice. I do appreciate what you are saying about this ridiculous age thing on social media. It's just a load of old rubbish and best ignored. I can speak from years of experience in counselling and one of the most important things is self worth. Self esteem. This is not the narcissism form of self admiration, but a feeling you are of value to society and those close to you. 'Love thy neighbour AS THYSELF'. That's the important bit. 'Love thyself' because if you don't how can you love another? Live your life, and realise that age has little to do with love, real love.

[Worrygirl86 3]

13 hours ago, jonathan123 said:

Oh my goodness. 35!!!!! my God!!!!! Come on!!!! 35 is young!!!!!!!!!!! I am getting on for over twice your age and still feel 30. AGE IS A NUMBER. YES it is, and that's all it is. In the UK earlier this year we had an old guy who was 99 doing a walk a hundred times round his garden to raise money for the NHS. He was knighted by the Queen for his efforts. It's what's in your mind that counts. Some of the greatest people have been old when they have invented some of the worlds most useful scientific works. As for dating guys, well, if a man wants you and is only concerned with your age and looks keep well away. Anyone that really wants you will accept you as you are irrespective of age or looks. They say ' love is blind' and it is. Who gives a damn about a load of morons who only regard a woman as a sex object? The world is full of them. It is also full of good respectful guys who value a woman for what she is. A woman has to be discerning in her choice. I do appreciate what you are saying about this ridiculous age thing on social media. It's just a load of old rubbish and best ignored. I can speak from years of experience in counselling and one of the most important things is self worth. Self esteem. This is not the narcissism form of self admiration, but a feeling you are of value to society and those close to you. 'Love thy neighbour AS THYSELF'. That's the important bit. 'Love thyself' because if you don't how can you love another? Live your life, and realise that age has little to do with love, real love.

I truly don’t feel old and when I don’t think of age I feel young but as soon as I think about I’m gonna be 35 it sounds old. The thing is I’ve stopped living when all my ocd and anxiety started at 17 though o know way more now I still feel and think the way I did then expect smarter now and don’t trust like I used to. I just hate when I read all these assumptions about age and people trying to act like it’s that different from early 30s it just don’t work that way. If others want to act like their 80 at 35 then that’s there prob. Your right I do have hope still there is a good guy the right guy out there. The thing is I have to accept I might not find a guy I want to enjoy life regardless. I just don’t know how to accept giving up the thought of a relationship I always wanted if that is way it goes. It just bothers me that many people act like this specific age 35 is elderly it’s older than 10 years ago but that don’t have to mean old. It bothers me. I searched on YouTube for videos of finding love for women who are 35 and what a mistake none of advice was positive everything was that it ain’t easy guys ar gonna have a choice of any age and the comments were all ageist guys who are part of that online women hating reddit mgtow. I just feel if I finally get rid of all my anxiety the world tells me I can’t enjoy anything or feel attractive since I’m 35. Thank you for your helpful reply I appreciate it 

[MARC 429]

Age is all relative. When I was 16, I thought anyone over 30 was ancient. 

[MARC 429]

My best friends sons wife was 36 when he married her and it was her first marriage. It is better to wait then to rush things. 

[jonathan123 2368]

Hi. WG. Yes indeed. It is better to let life unfold on its own. Things happen suddenly and so often for the better.  When I said age is a number only, it's so true. My grandmother was 101 when she died and still had all her senses. The secret? She brought up 8 kids and worked hard all her life looking after her family through two world wars.  She DID NOT GIVE THOUGHT TO AGE. Now that's it!!! They say 'you are as old as you feel'. Some peole are old at 40 becuse their outlook on life makes them that way. We have all met the 'dismall jimmies' no matter what age they are. My mother used to call them members of the 'all is lost brigade'.  On the other hand many are young at 90. Yes, that is possible if your outlook on life is positive.   There was a lady here in the UK recently who did a prachute jump. Now that may not seem unusual until you know she was 90!! She had always wanted to do it and she did. Why accept that you may not find the right guy?  Do you socialise much?  You may feel shy about talking to men, I don't know, but one thing I did learn when I was younger is that the guys are often shy too however brash thay may seem. A real mate is a mate for life. One night stands solve nothing other than self gratification. HOPE is not something we can switch on or off. It must lie in the heart. In a village near where I live there is a church with a big clock tower. Inscribed all round the clock are the words, 'Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be', and it's true. 

 

[davide.h 26]

I don't like aging either. Most of my friends are either 10 years older or 10 years younger 🤣 So they can't relate to me very well. Yes, 35 is objectively quite young. But, you don't have to BE old to FEEL old. Don't let people dismiss your worries. They are real to you. For example I, at 22, suddenly realized my youth was over (or so I thought) and was so depressed for months. Nobody took me seriously. It was terrible. I hope you find people who are understanding to you 🙂