The Spot Is Back

[Zazz 14]

Since you don't need to read a long post of me rambling...

The black spot on my leg had gotten snagged and fell off and healed to a little scar several months ago. Now it's back (I wasn't checking for it). I had a mild freak out of the usual variety (Do I tell the doctor or just ignore it?).

I guess hemangiomas can reoccur. You'd think I'd know this.

I'm frustrated with myself.

😓

[Ironman 49]

I am not sure what a hemangioma is, but if you had that spot before and it fell off,  This one would fall off without an issue, too, right?

[Zazz 14]

** Trigger warning about my investigative obsession and differential diagnosis. ** (I'll spare you the photos, cus of course I have photos)

A hemangioma is a non-cancerous tumor, essentially made up of veins close to the skin surface. They're usually red.

So... the tumor itself, theoretically, will never go away... which is fine, I have a billion hemangiomas, they're extremely common.

This one keeps bleeding under the skin? Which makes it expand quickly, turns it black, and makes it look like ****ing melanoma.

I hate seeing doctors so I cancelled my appointment when it fell off last. My PCP figured it was probably just a hemangioma they was bleeding... I would figure the same, except I'm a nutter that has looked at it under a microscope and I can't tell the usual hemangioma features under all that blood and couldn't seem to find it after it fell off to see it without the bleeding... and in its current state, prob without a experience of practicing dermatology for years (and I am of course not even a practitioner), telling the two apart is extremely difficult since they're mimics even under magnification (and especially since I don't have anything fancy).

I don't even want to go in with something that looks like melanoma and ask my PCP if it's a problem when we both know full well wtf it looks like and he knows I am a Googler that has already considered that possibility. I'm tempted to just monitor it, but if it follows the same course as last time, after another week or two of monitoring it I'll probably be worked into a tizzy about it. If it follows the same course, I'll also feel stupid as shit if it just falls off and disappears before it gets looked at.

Here's the thing: skin cancer also can repeatedly scab and fall off... though I think that'd be suggestive of Basal Cell cus those are usually the type that do that?

My brain is stuck on that. If it's anything other than a hemangioma, which I can't verify, it could be serious... and my OCD and depression have a war about these sorts of things.

[MARC 340]

I had basal cell carcinoma on the right side of my nose 12 years ago and it was removed by a Moh's surgeon and he said there was a 99% chance it would not come back and it has not. My co-worker had in situ Melanoma. A Moh's surgeon removed it and it has not come back. If it concerns you then I would make an appointment with a dermatologist which will put your fears and speculation to rest. 

[Zazz 14]

I know you're right Marc. I wish it were so simple in my head.

I'm concerned, but from two different, opposing angles? If that makes sense.

I'm concerned it's cancerous, but I'm a bit young still for that I think (33yo). I'm also just concerned it's not even worth worrying about (ya all are probably used to this bs from me, right?), especially since my body seems to like bleeding (derm said it's just an inflammation thing, I'm guessing what he meant is the inflamed tissue from my arthritis/Psoriasis squeezes on capillaries, which causes them to burst?).

I want to put it out of my mind, but as soon as I saw it the psychosomatic burning started. UGH!

I also am just ridiculously tired of my body doing this kind of bs. The thigh is a weird spot for bleeding - I usually get the bleeds on my feet and hands (where my autoimmune condition favors)... and tbh, the seemingly systemic capillary bleeds has always kinda given me the shivers anyways.

[MARC 340]

My internal medicine concierge physician told me that it is a good idea for anyone at any age to get a full body scan by a dermatologist. 

[Ironman 49]

39 minutes ago, Zazz said:

I know you're right Marc. I wish it were so simple in my head.

I'm concerned, but from two different, opposing angles? If that makes sense.

I'm concerned it's cancerous, but I'm a bit young still for that I think (33yo). I'm also just concerned it's not even worth worrying about (ya all are probably used to this bs from me, right?), especially since my body seems to like bleeding (derm said it's just an inflammation thing, I'm guessing what he meant is the inflamed tissue from my arthritis/Psoriasis squeezes on capillaries, which causes them to burst?).

I want to put it out of my mind, but as soon as I saw it the psychosomatic burning started. UGH!

I also am just ridiculously tired of my body doing this kind of bs. The thigh is a weird spot for bleeding - I usually get the bleeds on my feet and hands (where my autoimmune condition favors)... and tbh, the seemingly systemic capillary bleeds has always kinda given me the shivers anyways.

If it is at your thigh, a different location, then maybe you should have it checked.... or at least let your doctor know it is there so he can determine if you need to come in.

[Zazz 14]

6 minutes ago, Ironman said:

If it is at your thigh, a different location, then maybe you should have it checked.... or at least let your doctor know it is there so he can determine if you need to come in.

Probably, yeah. I'll have to work up the nerve. 😓

[Zazz 14]

Anyone think it would be logical to send them a photo? I can message them over an app...

Or am I just digging myself a hole by admitting I've looked at it with a microscope?

[MARC 340]

Your continued speculating is causing you more unnecessary stress and is really accomplishing nothing. No one likes going to the doctor that I know of. 

[Zazz 14]

I know you're trying to be helpful here but the only thing my brain can think of to respond with is "Duh"

Nobody likes it, sure... not everyone will spend the next couple of years thinking about the visit and having literal panic attacks about it though. 🙃 I still have panic attacks about the fact that I showed the dermatologist my crotch (for a rash (read: genital psoriasis) that I've had for four years now... and like I feared, there's no doing about it (not that nothing can be done about it, more like insurance doesn't give a fuck because it's dermatological so I'm stuck with it or screwing up my adrenals by applying a high-strength steroid to mucosal skin (which burns like a SoB) everyday for the rest of my life)). The contemplation bothers me less, tbh.

That's where the block is, if anyone was wondering.

[SurferJoe 5]

I know it's not easy, but best thing to do is just to take the plunge and get it looked at. 

[MARC 340]

Many years ago I had a small bump on my penis. I called the dermatologist I was seeing at the time who was a woman in her 30's. I knew her through a friend. I called her by her first name. When I called for the appointment they asked me the issue and I said there was a blemish on my shoulder. When I arrived she saw me and she asked to see my shoulder. I then told her the problem was on my penis and her face dropped. I pulled my pants down and she touched my penis with a glove and said don't worry about it and it eventually went away on its own.