SurferJoe

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  1. I went to my appointment and the dermatologist didn't see anything wrong with it. She did give me the option of having it removed and I took her up on it. I have to wait a week or so for results, but I'm not too worried (for now). Glad I went in. Glad I had it removed. Hope to get good news and then can put it out of my mind.
  2. Sounds like the doc didn't decide for me. I got a call from the scheduling office with a referral to see a derm in their provider network. The wait is at least a month if not longer. I'm sticking with the appointment I made for Monday, but I feel like if he had seen something that looked bad - waiting a month or 2 for an appointment would not be on the table. It would be get in ASAP.
  3. I do - and she helped put me at ease when I got home last night. It really does help. I feel better about it, but as we all know the anxiety is going to bubble beneath (and sometimes through) the surface until I get this dealt with. There was a period where I was at the dermatologist on a regular basis. I'd find something that freaked me out, I'd go in, they'd biopsy it. This is essentially what I'm doing this time. I have something that is troubling me, so I'm getting it dealt with. I do feel that my doctor would have been more forceful had he seen something that truly concerned him. I think I kept the appointment because I was expecting a certain outcome to ease my anxiety. In a sense, I was using the doctor visit as a tool. When it didn't go that way it was upsetting. That said, I can understand why it went the way it did. I'm having the same issue looked at twice in less than a year and both times I talked about how anxious it was making me. I told him several times that I don't think it has changed, but it's making me anxious. Recommending that I just get it dealt with was the right choice - if all goes well then I can put it out of my mind.
  4. I've long struggled with HA. The worst being 10-12 years ago. I put in a lot of work/therapy around it and have made good progress, but it still flares up. It usually just takes something to catch in my mind and then I have to work through it before it takes hold. I have a mole on my stomach that has been bothering me. There is nothing obviously wrong with it (though it is a little dark). I can't remember how long I've had it, but early 2020 it caught my attention. I had my doctor look at it during my yearly physical in March and he said it looked okay and that I should let him know if it changed. It popped up a few times during the summer and fall. I didn't notice any change, but I noticed it again. I went as far as making an appointment with my doctor, but then cancelled once my anxiety backed off. I had another moment of anxiety 2 weekends ago. I fought against the idea of making an appointment and then eventually did. I saw my doctor this morning. He looked at it again and while he didn't see anything that worried him, he recommended that I see a dermatologist to get a biopsy. I did discuss my health anxiety with him and I feel like part of his decision was so I could get it off of my mind. I have an appointment for Monday and I'm trying to keep it under control. I was hoping I'd go in and he'd just dismiss it as nothing and send me on my way - a repeat of what happened during my physical in March. This did not happen. I keep telling myself that if he had seen something that worried him that he'd have told me and said go get it checked out right away. He did not do that. He just said I should go to a dermatologist to get it looked at (and also to get a full body checkup). I feel like he took into account my health anxiety as in get it looked at and removed and then you won't have to worry about it. He gave me a choice of waiting to see a dermatologist in his network (which would have taken a few months) or going to an outside his network dermatologist where I could get in sooner. He seemed to indicate that the choice was mine, but ultimately gave me a number for the place I could get in sooner. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to worry too much. I don't think the mole has changed. I do think (I hope) that if he had seen something that was off that he would have told me. I do feel like this is the best course of action - get it looked at and removed. That said, I was hoping for some relief from today's appointment and I didn't get that - just a continuation of this current bout of anxiety.
  5. Yeah, I also don't know of anything that "work" works. I do stick with some old standbys like drinking warm liquids and taking hot showers. I'd also recommend drinking a lot of water. Get well soon!!
  6. If you have reflux, I think what you could be feeling is gas pain in your chest. I don't have reflux, but I have had similar sounding pain and I was told it was probably gas. I think could be why it changes when you move.
  7. Those kinds of days are definitely hard. It can feel like things just pile up. It seems like you have a lot on your plate. Are you able to compartmentalize your day? That often helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed. It also helps to break down the day into smaller portions: minutes, hours, and so on. I focus on staying positive for an hour or so. It makes the day seem less oppressive.
  8. I'm trying to really be mindful today of what I'm going through. I'm really going to focus on employing self talk. The onset of this episode of anxiety didn't just pop up. There was a defined beginning that occurred after I had a person experience with the disease I'm worried about. I need to stay mindful about the fact that I have had real bouts of HA. Yes, it has been awhile (several years) since I've had anything stick like this, but the experience is not new. Conversely, I have experience and tools to help navigate this. All this being said, it seems easy enough, but in practice it can be hard. I ended my day feeling pretty good yesterday, but I could feel the anxiety lurking around in the corners. The twitching is probably my biggest worry at this point. I'm going to keep reminding myself that anxiety and stress cause twitching. The brain can manifest twitches and spasms very easily. I woke up in the middle of the night and felt a brief twitch in my left arm and it unsettled me, but then a short time later I had a similar twitch (slightly longer in duration) in my right leg. I'm going to really work at this today. I know working past this is not something that happens in a single day. It will take time, but I'm going to do it.
  9. I went through a period where I had the same anxiety. I actually lost weight because I was afraid to eat certain foods as I didn't want to swallow them. There has already been a lot of great advice mentioned in this thread, but one thing that helped me get over that "lump in the throat" feeling was to realize that swallowing is a fairly complex automatic function. We normally don't think about it - we just do it. When we start thinking about the process of swallowing, however, we start not only noticing the process - but it can be easy to then focus on certain aspects that don't feel right.
  10. Yes - best of luck!! I've had a lot of luck with CBT. I'd go as far as calling it a life changer.
  11. I also experience some of my worst symptoms in the morning. It's a hard way to start the day for sure. For a very long time I tried to cram the door shut on what I was feeling, but I've recently started to "listen" to my anxiety when I get up. It has really helped me.
  12. I'm primarily worried about twitches in my left arm, but I've noticed them elsewhere. It feels like I have more of them in my arm, but I think (and hope) I'm just noticing them more than in other places. It can sometimes just be a single twitch and sometimes it is rapid burst of twitches - almost like a quick spasm. It can also be a persistent twitch, but it doesn't last long - maybe a few seconds - though it always feels longer. I definitely feel like I'm hyper sensitive to any little movement that doesn't feel normal to me and also that I can have a twitch in my leg and I can just let it go, but if it is in my left arm then it is proof that something is wrong with me.
  13. I have had a very similar sounding twitch. I remember going through a lengthy spell where it was a near constant thing. It was in my left hand right between my thumb and index finger. It would sometimes twitch and would sometimes jerk. I didn't think it would ever stop (and I was afraid to even mention it to anyone) and then one day it just did. It's interesting that you describe the strange pulled tendon feeling. I have something similar in my right calf. I've definitely felt it before (several times over the years) and usually associated with ALS fears. It feels like the muscle is tight/weak. It comes and goes, but always in conjunction with the worry about my arm. It gets to the point where I start overthinking how I am walking. I'll trip or feel clumsy and I will immediately associate it with weakness in my leg. It feels like what you're experiencing might also be anxiety related.
  14. I had a minor (it felt worse at the time) disagreement with my girlfriend yesterday. It started not long after I woke up and wasn't resolved until early evening. It consumed me during those hours and I can't recall experiencing a symptom during that span of time. I might have, but I was able to clear it from my mind and move on. It wasn't until that issue resolved itself that the worry started to creep back in. The twitches don't come around that often. Just enough to keep me off balance. They don't stick around very long. Usually just a quick telegraph of twitches and then they're gone. It feels like I can usually make them stop. I'm not new to HA, but I'm still "amazed" at how the brain can take over and manifest itself. I know that what I'm feeling is most likely anxiety, but I struggle to accept that. I'm doing the best I can, but I agree that using self talk to continue to tell myself that what I'm feeling is anxiety and not the disease I'm worrying about helps. It helps a lot and I hope that if I can keep doing it (and knowing I will fail at times, but sticking to it) that this worry will fade.