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SurferJoe last won the day on February 5 2022

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  1. I think so. I'll tell you, the first twitch came watching Succession - which is a tense, stressful show. The twitch on Sunday? Again, watching Succession. The twitches led to everything else. Again, I don't think I'd be thinking about weakness or anything without the twitch. Also, if my mind is distracted - I'm not feeling anything. I moved couches yesterday and didn't have any issues - there wasn't any actual weakness. It felt normal.
  2. Hi everyone. It's been awhile since I've had a HA flare up and I'm bummed to be back here, putting my fears into words. My issue started maybe 3 weeks ago when I felt a slight twitch in my left hand. It didn't last long, just a typical muscle twitch. It kind of lodged in my head, but I let it go. I self talked my way out of the worry. It happened again last Sunday, but this time it's stuck. I'm now worried I'm suffering from some sort of fatal, degenerative disease. The twitching has actually been not that big of a deal this time around. I'm now obsessed that there is evidence of my body breaking down and wasting away, specifically in my left arm. I'm worried that it's not as big as my right arm (which it might not be - I'm not all that muscular to begin with and I'm right handed). In fact, I've long noticed that my right hand was bigger than my left. I'm also obsessing about weakness, like if I lift something with my left arm it feels heavier and achier and stuff like that. Also, there is a strange, very slight pain in my left side - like my arm muscles are wasting away and dying. If I had not had the left hand twitch to trigger something, I feel like I would not be worried about anything else right now, as in it feels like the other "symptoms" came after the initial trigger. On one hand, I can tell myself that nothing is wrong - I'm making all of this up, but then I can't completely shake it, either - constantly thinking about it, testing it, etc.
  3. So, I went to the doctor, yesterday. I had made an appointment after my high blood pressure scare in mid-May. My blood pressure was high again, but he thinks it's likely anxiety related. My BP has been pitch perfect every visit with him up until yesterday. He wants me to come back in a few weeks. I explained my weird chest sensations and he didn't appear to be worried. He felt it was again, anxiety related. He said he could give me an EKG, but he didn't feel like I needed one. He said it would just be for my peace of mind. I decided against it. We went over a few things I could do (some I'm already doing) to keep myself calm. He wants me to get back on Lexipro. My psychiatrist had me on it, but then I went off it because I'm not a fan of SSRI's. I'm considering it again. Anyway, I feel somewhat better. Not better, better, but a little calmer.
  4. Thanks for the replies, everyone. It helps. I've been struggling with them off and on since that Thursday. I've noticed that when my mind is engaged that I don't notice anything. For instance, we went out of town on Saturday for a concert: 4 hour drive, swam with the kids at the hotel, went to a great show (Willie Nelson!) and felt great all night long. I lulled myself into the thought of hey, you're past this. Sunday started out great, maybe an odd feeling here and there, but nothing that threw me off. This morning was a different matter, however. It was back to work, and rushing around the house trying to get the kids ready and yeah, I felt a "flutter" or something on my way to work. I felt it a few times. It freaked me out. I'm working on calming myself when it happens. One thing that does happen, however, is that they make me feel unhealthy. I get scared to push myself. The idea of going for a run is terrifying: I'm going to push my "damaged" heart past the breaking point.
  5. I occasionally get what I think is a heart palpitation. Just a "weird" flutter in my chest. It can be in different places - sometimes upper chest where I think my heart is, sometimes under my sternum. It almost feels like a gas bubble is passing through my chest or something like that. It's always brief - like one flutter. I've noticed they come when I'm feeling stressed and especially when they're on my mind. If I have one, chances are high I'm going to have another one very soon or throughout the next couple of days. Here's an example. We're going away for the weekend. I've been rushing around trying to get the kids packed, trying to get the house in order. I have a million things on my mind (including the standard health worries). I run to the store to get a swimsuit and feel a "palpitation" in the car. I then feel more and more of them as I'm in the store. I start to feel panicked, scared. Am I going to pass out? Is something wrong with me? Is it my heart? They essentially stop when I exit the store. I work on my breathing and I try and focus and it gets better. Anyone else felt this?
  6. Indeed. I gave in and used one of those in store blood pressure machines today. I could feel myself getting wound up before I even sat down. The first reading was high. I took it again, still high, but also a lot different than the first reading. I got up, walked around, did some shopping, did some self talk about how these machines are not accurate and then tried again. It was still high, but a lot closer to normal. I might discuss with my doctor next week, but then I might now. In the meantime, I'm staying away from those machines.
  7. I definitely have some white coat hypertension, so I'm sure that played into my higher than normal reading today. I just can't shake it right now. I went for my yearly physical a month ago and came away with a clean bill of health. This is disappointing. I was just at the store and almost sat down in one of those in store blood pressure machines. I made myself not do it. Today has already been super stressful. I'm trying to take faith in what my doctor uncle said: it happens, don't worry about it. I just worry and worry. It's my thing.
  8. The wallet part did play into my appointment anxiety today.
  9. I went to the dentist today, and they took my blood pressure. It was elevated. It's not normally elevated. I was in for a physical a month ago and it was normal. I was at the dentist just last week and it was not elevated. Being a worrier, however, it's now on my mind. I had them take it several times, but it remained up there. I know I have a few things not working in my favor today: * Two cups of coffee this morning * A stressful text exchange with my ex-wife * Just always feeling anxious about any medical/dental appointment I talked to my GP uncle and he said don't worry about it. I'm trying to let it go. I was so rattled that I went and bought an Apple Watch (which I'd been meaning to do anyway) to help track my health. It still felt like a total impulse drive (anxiety can make it very easy to hand over money). I guess I don't know what to do. My uncle suggested just checking it at one of those in store blood pressure machines once I've had time to calm down. He did add that those machines are not always accurate. He didn't think I needed to tell my doctor right now, unless it would help ease my mind. Anyone have any experience with blood pressure spiking like that?
  10. The appointment went well. I'm healthy. He was happy with my vitals. He did mention getting a colonoscopy and while he said he was okay if I waited until 50, I decided to just get it done. They will call me in the next month or so to set something up. I can relax a little for now. Thank you all for your comments. They are much appreciated.
  11. Yeah, I know it's a good thing to go and get it done. Everything is better if they catch it early. I know there are some less invasive tests out there, so who knows, maybe I can go that route. It's funny (or ironic) because in the past, there have been years where I looked forward to going. I felt good, healthy. I feel a little creakier with every year, but all in all I feel good.
  12. Thanks for the positive comments. There is a sense of relief once the appointment is over, but it's the dread building up to it that gets to me.
  13. I have my yearly physical on Wednesday and I'm seriously overthinking it. I'm 45 years old and I think in pretty good health (knock on wood). I know that getting a yearly physical is a good thing and I'm not going to back out, but I'm still worried (and it's a worry I've had since I was a kid): what if the doctor finds something? I'm even more worried because at 45 I know colonoscopies are in my future and that scares the heck out of me. I also worry that they will find something, but the procedure itself frightens me. I find myself counting down the days with a sense of dread. Can anyone else relate?
  14. For what it's worth, I have a freckle on my lip. It kind of just showed up one day, though I know it didn't really just show up - I just finally noticed it. My dermatologist has never said anything about it, so my assumption is that it's fine. I've also had my dermatologist tell me that we're getting freckles and various other spots all throughout our lives. That helps me.