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SurferJoe last won the day on February 5

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  1. The appointment went well. I'm healthy. He was happy with my vitals. He did mention getting a colonoscopy and while he said he was okay if I waited until 50, I decided to just get it done. They will call me in the next month or so to set something up. I can relax a little for now. Thank you all for your comments. They are much appreciated.
  2. Yeah, I know it's a good thing to go and get it done. Everything is better if they catch it early. I know there are some less invasive tests out there, so who knows, maybe I can go that route. It's funny (or ironic) because in the past, there have been years where I looked forward to going. I felt good, healthy. I feel a little creakier with every year, but all in all I feel good.
  3. Thanks for the positive comments. There is a sense of relief once the appointment is over, but it's the dread building up to it that gets to me.
  4. I have my yearly physical on Wednesday and I'm seriously overthinking it. I'm 45 years old and I think in pretty good health (knock on wood). I know that getting a yearly physical is a good thing and I'm not going to back out, but I'm still worried (and it's a worry I've had since I was a kid): what if the doctor finds something? I'm even more worried because at 45 I know colonoscopies are in my future and that scares the heck out of me. I also worry that they will find something, but the procedure itself frightens me. I find myself counting down the days with a sense of dread. Can anyone else relate?
  5. For what it's worth, I have a freckle on my lip. It kind of just showed up one day, though I know it didn't really just show up - I just finally noticed it. My dermatologist has never said anything about it, so my assumption is that it's fine. I've also had my dermatologist tell me that we're getting freckles and various other spots all throughout our lives. That helps me.
  6. I've had what I'd call a sour stomach since at least Tuesday morning. Backing up a little bit, I made the mistake of reading an article about someone roughly my age who was diagnosed with a terminal illness. His only symptoms prior to diagnosis were off feelings in his gut. I didn't read very much of the article, but I saw enough. My stomach has felt weird off and on all week. Sometimes I feel very hungry, like I cannot eat enough. Sometimes it feels sour, like there is too much acid in my stomach. I will occasionally experience heartburn and what feels like bloating. I've been waking up feeling okay, but very quickly the thoughts enter into my head and I start feeling weird. I'm thinking about it all of the time and I know that cannot help. I know there is a connection between stress and anxiety and a sour stomach. My doctor even cautioned me at one point about his concerns that I might develop stomach issues. The kicker is that I'm experiencing all this days after reading that article. My brain wants to make a connection.
  7. It's been a long haul. I was obsessed over swallowing from late September through just recently due to a hard swallow I had. The morphed briefly into a BM worry last week. My stool looked red, but that cleared up within a day or two. Now I'm on to something else. I made the mistake of reading a CNN article about a guy who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness (I won't go into details). He didn't have many symptoms before his diagnoses (and I didn't read very far into the article before I shut it down), but I saw that he had a weird feeling in his stomach. I now have a weird feeling in my stomach. It felt bloated and sore Monday night through Tuesday. Since then I've just felt very, very hungry. It's like I can't get full. There are some other things going on. My Valium prescription ran out and my psych has not refilled it (not sure what is going on). I probably have not been eating enough, which could account for being hungry all the time. My brain wants to say hey, you have the exact same symptoms of the guy you read about and that means you also have the exact same illness. What are the odds of that a day or two after reading about it. Not likely, right? That said, I don't feel right. I just want this to end. I'm so tired of worrying and worrying and worrying.
  8. Glad you've gotten it checked out. I've had similar experiences and yes, it was stress and anxiety. I've found a common way that anxiety physically manifests in my body is heart related: pain, soreness, etc.
  9. First time I went on Tuesday it looked the same and that freaked me out, but went again and everything looked normal. Same with today. I think it was (knock on wood) from what I ate on Sunday.
  10. Stool issues again this morning. Ugh. I noticed some red. I think I can chalk this up to what I ate yesterday: Korean food with purple rice and also a bag of those French burnt peanuts (red food coloring). I think, I think, I think. I'm still rattled, however.
  11. Ugh. This HA flare up won't go away. I've moved on from my initial swallowing worry, but I still have a swallowing worry. To recap, this first bit of worry was after a hard swallow of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I felt it low in my chest. That is what I obsessed about for nearly 2 months, obsessing over every swallow, looking for anything that didn't feel normal. Thankfully, I never had that experience again and it like was simply biting off more than I could chew and then forcing it down. 2 weekends ago, I was starting to feel solid again. I was eating without worrying too much. I felt like I was turning a corner, but then ran into a wall one week ago at dinner. We were eating pasta and I noticed a slight burning sensation in my upper throat, almost like an "acidic" feeling. It put me right back down the HA well. It's hit me off and on since then, now manifesting as a slight burning in my upper throat (on the left). It doesn't happen every time I swallow, but enough to keep me rattled. I'm back to obsessing over every swallow. The maddening thing is that I feel like both worries are not connected. The first was low in my chest and was a hard swallow. This is now high in my throat and more of a slight burning sensation, almost like a sore throat. My brain wants to link everything together, however. I do have some congestion in my throat (I had COVID mid-November). There could be a reason for the soreness, but I also feel like my HA is helping to manifest things. I'm just worn out by it all. I want to accept that nothing is really wrong, but I can't. I can't just let it go. I'm trying everything I can: meditation, mindfulness, exercise, journaling, therapy.
  12. Thanks for the replies. It helps to know I'm not in this alone. I struggled this weekend. I felt disconnected from my kids and my partner. She tries to be supportive, but I know it also wears her down. I'm finding that I just want to stay in bed in the morning, though I always make myself get up and get going. My current HA flare started at the end of September and it's ebbed and flowed since then. I've even found time to mix in a few other things. I felt like I was almost over it two weekends ago, but then it got me again at the beginning of the week. The current issue is related to the original one, but they're not the same. My brain links them, however. I find that I take all sorts of symptoms and lump them together to fit. I'm so tired. I'm so worn out. All I can do is to keep trying to move forward.
  13. I'm exhausted by the constant cycle of health anxiety that I just can't seem to break. I'm trying a lot right now: therapy, medication, meditation, yoga, mindfulness, and on and on. I feel like I can't outrun it. Case in point, 2 months ago I wolfed down a PB&J and one of the bites went down hard, so my brain went to something wrong with my upper GI tract. It was then weeks of obsessing over every single bite and while I never had that sensation again, I would notice every sensation and chalk that up to something being wrong. I had been making progress these past few weeks, almost to the point where I felt this worry receding behind me, but then last night at dinner it came back. It was a different sensation, this time a slight burning (like heartburn) while I was eating pasta. My brain linked it all together, and now I'm spiraling backwards again. It always feels like something and last night I felt despondent, like I just couldn't do this anymore. I felt sad and worn out. If I wasn't putting in the work I wouldn't feel entitled to complain, but I am and I'm still struggling.