What to do when you make it worse

[enidoreilley 83]

**I started to post this as a comment on another thread but decided it was different enough that I should start my own. Also, I use swear words - my apologies, I am typing fast and have shit mouth.

My main sources of anxiety and catastrophic thinking have always been around my health (and often, but not as frequently the health of my loved ones) and ecological collapse. I have been terrified of this since I was a kid in the early 90s; some version of this. Obviously, we are having our fears more clearly articulated today than every before. I took that fear and anxiety and have become very politically active locally. I work with 2 different local action networks that advocate for green energy and waste reduction, plus, as a high school teacher, I am working with a group of students to advocate for more conservation in the school system. The world is a shit show, the same shit show, but I feel more like I am doing what I can and I feel more in control of my fears because of it. 

To me it sounds like many others on here are doing that with their health, and that is awesome.

The shitty flip side for me is that I gained 50 lbs this past year and am now considered "severely obese". I am pre-diabetic and I have actual, real health threats that I need to attend to. Instead of dealing with this in a productive way, I still get random panic attacks about ovarian cancer and ALS and things that I am statistically unlikely to get, while I know for a fact that all the crap I eat is killing me. The number one thing I derive pleasure and peace from is long hikes, and my size and poor fitness now make those impossible. I know what I need to do, but I feel paralyzed to do it.

Does anyone else sympathize with this? I feel like HA sufferers tend to be pretty fit, but I just get less and less healthy. And why doesn't this scare me as much? Why am I so powerless to make myself actually healthier while I fret over imagined health threats all day?

[Holls 1496]

I gained 50 pounds after my friend passed and my anxiety sky rocketed..I'm losing it with using my fitness pal and joining step bets. I joined our local rec center that has a gym..I love walking outdoors but for some reason joining the gym has made me more accountable. I asked myself the same. I know this weight I gained is unhealthy but when I get stressed I eat for comfort. Just make the step... Decide what will work for you and your schedule.. is that working out at a gym before work? After work? Joining a weight loss challenge or stepbet challenge for fun and accountability? Making menus for the week ? I've had to change a lot to get back on track. I know that I feel better when I'm eating right and walking. When I eat bad, I feel bad. Hugs you will find your balance..

[Bella P 75]

I have PCOS and I know exactly how you feel. I am absolutely terrified of it getting worse and turning into something horrible. Every little symptom makes me panic, ones that could be related to PCOS and ones not so much, and it's so exhausting. I have both weight gain anxiety and weight loss anxiety, too. I'm scared about not eating enough, and I'm scared of eating too much. I feel insane sometimes. If you like I can give you some tips that I've picked up on how to be healthier. As for how to stop panicking, I'm still trying to figure that out myself. 

I hope that you feel better soon. 

[mollyfin 366]

Know what makes me eat?  Stress.  Guess what HA causes...wait, you don't have to guess!  Ugh.  I know exactly what risk factors I'm creating in myself, and while I'm terrified of them...here I still am.

[Leah1976 301]

I am on the same boat. I have gained 40 lbs in the last few years after my mother in law passed away and I started the lexapro and my HA got out of hand. I used to workout everyday and eat healthy. Now I binge, eat big amount of food and don't exercise.... what happened to me???? I want to be that other person again! right now I am dealing with fears of BT but I think I am finally realizing that the doctors are right and that I am ok. I need to gain control of my life and make healthier choices.

Good luck to everyone going thru this, I believe we can do it!!!!

[lofwyr 215]

I was a stress eater too. There is a comedian (he is pretty vulgar, so before looking him up if you haven't seen him, be warned) named Bob Kelly who does a bit about being on his 
"sixth fat." You gain, you lose, you gain again. Well, I am on my 5th fat, and losing. It is now a matter of life and death, though maybe it always was before too and I just didn't see it. 

I was a fat kid, then the Army and university saw me in fantastic shape for most of my 20s. Since then, it has been a see-saw of fat and skinny. 

I am resolved to make this my last fat. This time my cholesterol is over 300, I may or may not have diabetes (tbd this week) and even though I am only about 15 to 20 pounds heavy, I have a lot of reasons to eat better and lose the weight. But now, at 48, the pounds don't fall off like they used to. Used to be, I could add a two mile walk, or quit putting creamer in my coffee and away the fat would go away like magic. Now I have to eat like a mouse, work against the various meds I am on for recently discovered genetic heart issues, but not work out too hard so I don't blow my aneurysm, and lose weight while the beta blocker slows my metabolism.

I am pretty much in a state of constant hunger right now, but, better than dying. Or it is for the moment. If I am ever terminal, I am going to have a long, hot date with a pizza.  

Hang in there all of you,. As they say, "getting old isn't for wimps." 😉  We can overcome it, just takes more work than before. 

[enidoreilley 83]

19 hours ago, Bella P said:

I have PCOS and I know exactly how you feel. I am absolutely terrified of it getting worse and turning into something horrible. Every little symptom makes me panic, ones that could be related to PCOS and ones not so much, and it's so exhausting. I have both weight gain anxiety and weight loss anxiety, too. I'm scared about not eating enough, and I'm scared of eating too much. I feel insane sometimes. If you like I can give you some tips that I've picked up on how to be healthier. As for how to stop panicking, I'm still trying to figure that out myself. 

I hope that you feel better soon. 

Hey! I have PCOS too! And some other weird hormone-related chronic conditions that I am sure are contributing to some degree. But I know that for me, weight loss is possible, just tough and if I'm being really honest, I am not doing much to try right now. I welcome any and all tips on how to be healthier with PCOS (or just in general)  

[enidoreilley 83]

51 minutes ago, lofwyr said:

I am resolved to make this my last fat.

I love that idea! I have a lot of reasons to want to be healthy and strong and I am feeling somewhat inspired by my recent success in quitting smoking. I have a real opportunity to roll this motivation into diet and exercise. 

[lofwyr 215]

42 minutes ago, enidoreilley said:

Hey! I have PCOS too! And some other weird hormone-related chronic conditions that I am sure are contributing to some degree. But I know that for me, weight loss is possible, just tough and if I'm being really honest, I am not doing much to try right now. I welcome any and all tips on how to be healthier with PCOS (or just in general)  

This is a great weight loss resource, and it has a whole section devoted to losing weight with PCOS (my wife has numerous problems associate with it she has to deal with and weight loss is a miserable journey for her : (  ) 

https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/

[MARC 416]

I have been through some tough times myself. From the period September 2012 through August 2013, my mother, father and uncle all passed away. I have had a number of health issues, including a fractured vertebrae when I was 20, and in recent years, an esophageal ulcer in around 2005, basal cell carcinoma in 2009, etc. I have battled health anxiety for many years off and on and it can be tough to deal with sometimes. I try to do the best I can. 

[Bella P 75]

12 hours ago, enidoreilley said:

Hey! I have PCOS too! And some other weird hormone-related chronic conditions that I am sure are contributing to some degree. But I know that for me, weight loss is possible, just tough and if I'm being really honest, I am not doing much to try right now. I welcome any and all tips on how to be healthier with PCOS (or just in general)  

If you haven’t done so already, cut out all soda. If you’re used to drinking a lot, it will be hard, but it helps tremendously. I have stopped eating high fructose corn syrup, I check the ingredients on pretty much everything, it’s very bad for you. It’s bad for everyone, but especially PCOS. Eating it every so often won’t hurt you, no, but it’s best to avoid it as much as possible. These two things will help tremendously. It will be hard, but it’s very helpful. I will admit, I’m struggling with very all or nothing thinking out of fear as well as insecurity, and I let myself google and get even more afraid in the past. I also had a terrible so called specialist at one point who scared me so much I started to have psychosomatic diabetes symptoms. What I’ve learned is that being too restrictive in your diet is actually just as bad as eating the wrong things. I’m still working on that. You might have heard that you have to be gluten free, dairy free, fruit free, etc. That isn’t true. Unless you have celiac or gluten intolerance, you actually shouldn’t completely cut out gluten, but it’s not a bad idea to cut back on it on occasion. Milk is not the best choice, but cheese is just fine. You can still have fruit, berries are the best, but not more than one or two servings a day. Fruit has fructose, yes, but it also has important fiber and nutrients. Women with PCOS do need to cut down on carbs, but we still need some, we just need to cut out refined carbs. Brown rice, sweet potatoes, wild rice, whole grains, oats, whole wheat, etc. are all good carbs. I can give you more tips, but I don’t want to make this too long, so I’ll stop here for now. Yes, one needs to be healthy, but don’t go overboard. I admit I’ve been going overboard a bit out of fear, I was being far too restrictive and actually hurt myself more by doing so, by trying to eliminate all I heard was bad. One, some things I heard were wrong and I’m now correcting them. Two, moderation is still important. Three, it’s okay to treat yourself sometimes. You’ll burn yourself out otherwise. There are many PCOS friendly sweet recipes I’ve found, too, I could share. Four, don’t let your conditions rule your life. It can be scary, God knows it can be I’ve been living in fear ever since I was diagnosed, but it’s not the end of the world. 

I’m sorry for the rambling mess, but I hope that I helped some :)