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  1. Hey Marc thanks for the response. Did you feel that pain from the ulcer every time you ate? Just trying to make sense of how rational it is that pain from a tumor in the esophagus would come and go. I mean, I would assume if a tumor grew so large that it would cause pain, it would have to happen every time I ate...
  2. First off, just want to say I'm happy the site is back! Secondly, I just want to say that I'm less than happy that my HA is back, and of course it revolves around the big C. I'm 34m, regular weight, non smoker, and not a heavy drinker (a few times a weeks maximum. If anyone remembers, I would have posted here in the past about pancreatic and lung cancer as my main fear... I don't recall posting about an old EC fear, but I can't even keep track of everything I've worried about it the past, to be honest. Anyway, what brought me to the conclusion that I have EC is that I was eating some pretty dry chicken the other day and noticed a pain between my shoulder blades when swallowing. It was like a bit of a stabbing pain that lasted only briefly, but would happen when swallowing big bites. It only happened that one meal and hasn't been around since. Of course I Google and all point to EC, saying that it's referred pain from the food passing by an ulcerated tumor. I don't have any other red flag symptoms like weight loss or blood in stool, but I've had what feels like untreated reflux for a very long time (maybe as far back as early 20s) which I never had looked at because it wasn't causing me any real discomfort. I'm just worried now that the reflux has damage my esophagus over the years to the point where I've had Barrett's and then it's turned into a tumor... I'm trying to remember, but I think I have only experienced this paim maybe once before during the pancan fear, but not as intensely. Also, the day it happened, I had woken up with some really sore shoulders, particularly between the blades. Coincidentally, as the soreness left, so did the swallowing pain. While it seems like I may have answered my own question, I don't know how the two can be related, and I can't stop fixating on the possibility of EC. Has anyone experienced upper back pain when swallowing as a result of pulled muscles? If the food was passing by a tumor, would it was and wane or be constant?
  3. Hey bedcat. Just seen your post on my old thread, but figured it made more sense to respond here. So, first, it's clear I'm not a doc (I actually have two good friends who are docs, but they won't answer my questions because they know it feeds my anxiety lol), but I just wanted to pass on a bit of knowledge I picked up through my incessant googling on the topic of PC while I was at the height of my panic (I'm still a little anxious, but it's under control now). The back pain you talk about is probably muscular, and like mine (in the same spot between the shoulders) I would bet that its aggravated by some sort of movement. Mine is intermittent, and when I make my chin touch my chest I feel the strain in the same area you describe. Back pain from PC isn't dependent on movement, with the exception of temporary relief from bending forward, assuming a fetal position, or worsening when laying on your back. The reason why back pain occurs is because the tumor gets big enough to invade the massive bundle of nerves called the celiac plexus, which causes very very severe "boring" abdominal pain that radiates through the back (epigastric region, just below the breast bone). It can also happen as back pain only, but nerve pain would be such a distinct,throbbing, shooting, and constant pain, that you likely wouldn't confuse it with ache-y shoulders. Also, I've never heard of spinal tenderness being an issue with PC. The fact that the one spot is tender on your spine makes me think it's a small injury... I also have a vertebrae thats tender in the mid/lower back. I sit at a desk all day so my posture is likely affecting my back health. And like I said, the source of back pain in PC is invasion of the nerves, so it's clear that the source of the pain in that tender spot is superficial. Do you still have abdominal pain? What's it feel like? Does it move around? Mine moves around and can feel crampy or like a weird pinching sensation. Sometimes its upper right,upper left, around the belly button, and lower left/right. It usually only lasts seconds at a time and hasnt progressed to any levels more than a slight discomfort. Sometimes its relieved by farting or bowel movements,sometimes it just disappears. My doc's insight is that it sounds nothing like cancer pain, as it isnt worsening, and it migrates, and she said that cancer pain generally doesn't migrate and it gets worse and constant over time. Her guess was that it's my bowels or simply stress. Its been about 3 months since I started experiencing this symptom, and its almost gone away entirely. Any weight loss? Apparently weight just melts off with PC for a variety of reasons. I had read a journal article that said 75% of people with PC on the head of the organ (the area that makes you yellow) will suffer weight loss by diagnosis, and those with tumors in the body/tail will suffer weight loss 100% of the time by diagnosis. I suffered weight loss of about 5lbs and thought I was dying... but PC weight loss is obvious, we're talking 30lbs in a month or so, without trying. I've since gained 14lbs (unfortunately hah). I know it's hard to hear, but you're just anxious, like I was. So try to reassure yourself that everything is fine with your pancreas. I know this is breaking a big rule, but I actually found that researching "why/how" the symptoms occur made me feel better the more I understood. I think part of the reason so many hypochondriacs fear PC is because it's symptoms are very very vague, and it's called a "silent" killer. But know how and why vague symptoms were actually caused by PC made me feel better.
  4. You can go through my post history and see that I've been worried about this exact thing in the past. I was triggered a very very mildly elevated liver enzyme result that came up in my routine blood work. Obviously I googled and obviously liver cancer pops up as a cause. Wouldn't you know it, suddenly my right side started to feel "tight" and in my mind that means that my liver is swollen due to the massive amount of tumors all over it. I obviously ignored the incredible coincidence that my right sided rib "pain" (like you, mine barely hit a 1 on the scale) started immediately after I associated cancer with the cause of my blood results. I retested the bloodwork and had an abdominal u/s 4 weeks later. Bloods were all normal and the u/s was clear. I was actually convinced it was liver metastases from pancreatic cancer for the longest time, but the rib sensation has since gone... and you know what fixed it? CBT techniques that my therapist has been helping me with.
  5. Sure, but it depends if the symptoms occur together in a specific pattern. That's where the difference between trained physicians and doctor Google comes in. Google will take any one of those symptoms in isolation and spit out the worst case scenario, where a real doc will take your medical history, look for a "constellation" of symptoms, and determine a course of action.
  6. Mine float or sink on a daily basis, and have for years and years. 99.9999999% of the time it's because of gas content. Do your stools have yellowish streaks of fat mixed into the stool? Are there oil droplets? Are your stools unusually pale (and I'm not talking light brown, I'm talking grey or white)? Are they loose but unusually bulky? Are they very hard to flush? Are you losing weight rapidly? Are you seeing entire pieces of food in your stool (and I don't mean the fibrous vegetable matter that we usually see, I mean seeing food come out almost exactly as it went in, especially proteins)? My guess is the answers are "no" to all of those questions. You're fine.
  7. Hahaha no. I sometimes post in both forums since I like the people here, but NMP is a lot busier. I'm happy I'm not the only one with this though. First time it happened and it wasn't pleasant.
  8. Hi everyone, Just hoping some IBS sufferers can give some insight. I have never been formally dx'd with IBS, but I definitely suffer from IBS like symptoms when I'm going through periods of anxiety. This morning I woke up feeling a bit bloated while laying on my back, rolled on to my left side, and felt a very mild pain going from the top of my abdomen down to my lower abdomen. The pain went from slightly burning to crampy, and I could then feel my bowels/gas moving around. I shifted to laying flat again, and it felt like I had trapped gas. Went to use the bathroom, relieved myself, and laid on my left side, and the pain was gone, nor did I feel bloated anymore. Has anyone experienced any similar pains from laying on their left side with IBS?
  9. I think it's because Googling symptoms is part of a deep seated compulsion for HA sufferers. I know it does nothing but heighten my anxiety, but for me, I have this almost irresistible urge to Google like a madman in the attempt to find relief. I remember hearing that OCD and HA share many similarities, but I'm guessing it varies by person.
  10. I'm hoping a combo of time (given how aggressive and deadly this cancer is, I'll eventually have to accept that I'm fine... I hope) and therapy. I'm currently seeing a CBT therapist, but it's only twice a month due to the prohibitive cost of treatment. I guess for now I just have to push through the anxious thoughts. Sorry about your mother in law. By heavy, do you mean she would get bloated or full quickly?
  11. Hi Holls, I know, but when I get in a state it's hard for me to distinguish what is being caused by anxiety and what is a genuine problem. I haven't really felt "sick" from anxiety before, and although I know the feeling is an anxiety symptom, and I'm obviously incredibly anxious, it matches a symptom of what I'm worried about, so it's contributing to a pretty awful spiral.
  12. Sorry to bump this old thread, but my worries still persist. I've been really concerned about my pancreatic enzymes not working properly. Not much really leads me to believe this is occurring, but for the past week or so my stomach has started to feel really unsettled, and Iknow nausea can be a symptom of pancreatic enzyme failure. Now,to be fair, I've been constantly worried for two months, with very little breaks in my anxious episodes, and it's fair to say that this might be my worst period of HA to date. However, I've never really had nausea as an anxiety symptom before, at least not as far as I remember. My nausea isnt intense, just feels kind of queasy or slightly unsettled. No vomiting or anything like that. This makes me think it may be anxiety. But I'm just wondering if any of you have experienced nausea as a new anxiety symptom after years of other anxiety symptoms?
  13. This might sound dumb, but I was hoping it would be closer to 1mil to 1.