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I am so sorry you are going through this. It is a very hard and challenging thing to go through especially by yourself. I'm here for you if you Ever need to talk. Talking about a traumatic event can be soothing but also VERY emotional. I can relate a lil I have not been diagnose by a doctor to have ptsd but I struggle with the symptoms. Two months ago I was involved in a head on collision the other driver was on the wrong side of the road. He died Otw to the hospital but I was the one who heard him gasping and trying to fight for his life I can't get that sound out my head . I couldn't do anything to help because I was in so much in pain from the impact. I laid in the grass until the paramedics came. I have good, bad and worse day. But with our support from each other's experience we can get through this together.
Be blessed