thehipsta

Hehe cheers Jon

Mid Table You've got your Arsenals, your Liverpool’s, Your Chelsea’s and your Spurs, With both the clubs from Manchester land, And what occasionally occurs, Is a club like Aston Villa, or Everton or Hull, Sneaks into European positions, but Falls away by Christmas. So I fall away by Christmas And inevitably stall, And realise the top of the league Wasn't feasable at all So I'm not a Spurs, I’m not a Red, I'm not an Arsenal, I'm not a Villa nor a Blue... I'm not even a Hull I'm a mid to bottom table team who gets Ignored by match of the day And I pray to all the football Gods it always stays that way.

So I went back to work,, threw myself in at the deep end as my therapist suggested,, i'm not quite sure if I like it best when there is 1 person there or 4....I like it best when its just me.

Newcastle, but I'm not the guy who punched the horse right

Hi Jazzie, sorry I came late to this, just missed your post. All of my problems with anxiety etc started with sleep paralysis, I had experienced a few episodes as a child but forgotten about them really, then BAM almost every time I tried to sleep. I had all the stuff, the demon, the hanged man, the fear and the sound in my head...it was mental. I went to see my GP and they referred me to a sleep specialist who prescribed me venlafaxine which suppresses REM sleep so it kind of stops you dreaming. It worked, maybe you should talk to your GP about it if it persists, I am not recommending meds, everybody should find their own way, but it helped me. Steve.

THE BUS UP TO WHICKHAM It’s late of course, As always, As expected. As it’s cold... The block of red tumbles upwards Dodging speed ramps And seagulls, On its migration to the depot. Hand out the international sign For stop. The driver Sideburns Noddy Holderesque Takes my coin, Gives change and ticket. I am blessed By the joy of public transport. I pass my fellow travelers On the way up the aisle, The guy who gets off at the next stop Who I know to nod to, And the girl who Knows not of my feelings for her. Tobogganing round the curves, A friend once said We will die here, I asked him why He did not reply. This has always scared me I always mentally ask the driver to slow His foot upon the pedal Here. Escaping fatality once more, I enter the final strait Past the conker trees of youth, Past the ring of the bell, To the opening door.

Lest I forget The house on the corner just up from the green Wasn’t the grandest that had ever been seen But it was always kept clean. The coal in the scuttle, the bread and the jam The boiling of yesterday’s mutton or ham Cooked in the family pan. Those fish and chips Saturdays vinegar sharp The walk down the street to the falling down park Motherly hugs in the dark. And memories dim and come faster to fade I’m snatching at fragments of forgotten days The essence of the old ways. __________________ *may contain nuts

FOR THE LOSERS Life is dealt from the bottom of the deck By some god in some distant casino It’s all fives and threes Unless you believe, and then You only see aces and queens But me, I’ll take the hand I’m given And see it for what its worth And accept that I’m not going to win That does not mean that I give in I just understand my position at the table And am able To reconcile my soul with this

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Thanks Gill, you are right, it was the shock of the situation. In my case there were people there who I wasn't expecting and in your case the situation changed drastically. At least I had some place to run to.

Wise words Jonathan, thank you for replying. I have never considered tranquilisers, but I do take 75mg of venlafaxine per day. I was really upset cos I thought I was making progress, but I suppose you are right, I have,it was just a one off,I hope lol. Steve.

I thought I had been doing pretty well, SA wise anyway, but now I'm thinking I just got used to the situations I put myself in. So, I went to my mothers today and she had some friends round, a couple I didn't know,some I did. I immediately felt myself tensing up and starting to glow...they wanted me to sit down and chat, I mumbled something and went into the kitchen. My Aunt followed me in and started to try to persuade me to go to some family meal, I mean she was nice but by that time I was freaking out. I just said I would try and left, I didn't even say goodbye. This has kind of shocked me, I felt like I let my mother down.

TEA DANCE She’s there week upon week But never speaks To the men she holds Aftershave close and cheek to glowing cheek But she dreams Of a life with any one of them Of any life but hers Of any life not spent alone With only the fire And Richard and Judy For company And as she’s spun By this man in his best suit Still worn at the cuffs She closes her eyes And is dancing the first dance Dressed in white And beautiful All eyes on her and the man who will make her complete Fill her empty life with fulsome conversation Who will sort the morning post While he Puts just the right amount of jam on her toast And just the right amount of sugar In her tea As Glen Miller fades And polished shoes drift into distance She heads for home Alone Stopping only briefly at the corner shop For milk And at the bus stop To talk to Elsie That night Fire on two bars and Tea with just the right amount of sugar In her hand She once again allows her leaden lids to close And once again She dances…

Heres one for us all

Folding clothes My mind only allows me to Do the thing it desires at Any one given moment, I stare blankly at screens, And stare blankly through dreams. And multitasking’s not for me And choosing aint an option And free will isn’t ever free, its Sold at an empty auction. Someone close to me said We must look ahead, and Not give up the ghost, but Lack of concentration is a curse I just read and re-read the first verse… So I fold clothes ‘cos its easy And there’s no forms to fill in It’s just all Neat and even.