I've been having a feeling like something is stuck in my throat behind my breastbone for a few months now off and on. Some things improve it, mint, hot drinks, super cold drinks, and intermittent fasting makes it go away almost entirely until I start eating again. I've tried to write it off as anxiety, acid reflux, stress, muscle pull, etc... but it isn't really going away or improving. 😕 I finally got myself to the point mentally where I am going to set up a doctor appointment for answers. This brings me no small amount of anxiety.
Doctors and the "what if" they represent is almost worse than the anxiety I experience wondering if something is really wrong this time. I can't live in the bubble of denial if I call and set up an appointment. Now I am in the thralls of worry and despair as I call in the morning and then wait for the appointment date to arrive. My joy and anticipation for normal every day life things disappears during this time. I don't look forward to things and my hunger leaves... I don't have fun at all. Every one of you probably knows exactly what I am talking about. The anxiety sets in and I begin twitching more all over the place as this looming threat marches my direction.
The likelihood is that I have Gerd or maybe a small hernia in my esophagus that is causing these issues. Yet, I can't shake that ever present thought of "this time it's bad." I'm scared to leave my wife to raise my two sons alone; one three next month and the other two in September. I'm afraid to find out what my future holds... and that it is horrible. I realize the odds are definitely in my favor that it is nothing and these appointments will likely end this anxiety entirely with an answer and solution provided. But that what if... I just can't move past it. 😕
I guess I just need common sense, cooler heads, and encouraging words at this point. Maybe someone who has gone through a similar thing? I realize none of you really know what it is but I also know that my own mind and emotions cannot be trusted right now. Thanks guys. 😔