Horrible flashbacks

[Lindsay_b82 0]

I was ****d and molested when I was 5 and 6 years old. I didn't tell a soul until I was in my late 20s, I'm 34 now. I've also had guns put to my head during my job, knives pulled on me in same job, and a robbed at gunpoint with it pointed in my face... trigger loaded. I'm mostly having flashbacks from my childhood, so real they physically and emotionally painful. I've tried therapy, but it just makes them worse. Any suggestions on dealing with this is much needed. Thanks. 

[Ihadcancer 316]

I'm so sorry Lindsay. That's so sad.   I have no magical words to help make this go away.  Maybe someone else will have a suggestion.

Diane

[JOYCICLE 654]

I wonder why therapy makes it worse. Maybe just from talking about it and rehashing it?  I'm no professional and I've only had limited therapy. So when I say this I'm not suggesting it is TRUE, just speculating. I think there comes a time in therapy and life when rehashing the past is no longer necessary.  You're not unaware or having repressed memories. You know exactly what happened to get to the anxious place you are today. So at some point, rather than digging in the past, it may be more helpful to find out how to live in the present.  For some folks they are not really sure how they ended up nervous and in that case, looking into all the events of childhood is helpful. If the therapist you saw made things worse, try again with another therapist. There is no reason for you have to suffer like this.  Not all therapists are the same. I saw one many years ago who I just felt very awkward and belittled by and so I only went a few times. There is no way to get healing when you dont' feel comfortable with a person.

[Mark G 1176]

I know i'm late to this but i will say this.  GET THERAPY.  I know you said it made it worse and it made it worse because you had to think about the very thing causing the pain. You definitely have PTSD and these memories from past are currently NOT memories, they are EVENTS, events that have never been processed to memory so they are as real and as frightening as the day they happened.  You will require therapy and if possible EMDR treatment which will allow you to process, accept, desensitise and let go of the events to memory.  If you fear going near these events then they will continue to bubble up these painful flashbacks.  It's not easy and you will have to confront them but my word, you will feel the benefit afterwards, trust me.

[MsLLL 410]

Dear Lindsay,

I'm sorry you've experienced what no child should. I don't know if this helps but I would like to throw this out there just in case it could make a difference. I used to have a client who was sold by her Mother as a child to be molested by men. Her brother too. She tried counseling and different medications throughout her life, on and off. Counseling triggered some memories that were burried deep in her memory and it was a tough time for her. She learned techniques through counseling when very unpleasant memories would surface to work through them when SHE WAS READY. Now, this was not an easy experience and it does take a very experienced counselor and someone you can trust. But she made it to the other side. This is a girl who used to 'cope" by cutting herself. She lives a full filled life today, has a job, her own apartment, friends but goes back into counseling if she feels she needs to. Her brother unfortunately did not have so much help and his outcome was very different. 

If you can you could reach out to a hotline in your area, they have resources for specially trained counselors. 

My very best Wishes to you! 

 

[Lauren_Green20 0]

I can understand the pain of those childhood flashbacks that come out of nowhere to haunt you. I was molested when I was a child, was molested when I was a teen and when those flashbacks rain on my brain, I feel like hurting those men in unimaginable ways. I am so sorry you had to go through all that in life. 
Figure out what triggers you, like a certain person or anything else, just try to stay away from those triggers. I try to keep myself busy with exercise and reading. I know these sound like the most cliché activities but they truly help. You might feel alone too and no one can actually empathize with you so keep a journal on yourself. Write your deepest and darkest thoughts in it because I feel like I have shared my thoughts with someone through journaling. I also have anxiety and depression due to these traumas. I use a few other coping techniques that might help you. The first grounding technique is to try to come back to your sense with the help of your five senses. Use scented candles in your room, take a sniff to come back to reality. Use music to calm yourself and bring you back. Have some sour candies and other sweet candies by your side. This helps for your sense of taste to bring your attention to the taste rather than the flashback. As far as touch is concerned, cuddle with your pet or touch something cold. 

These techniques might sound pretty lame but they do help. They help me to notice my surroundings and bring me back to reality.

Wish I could hug you and make the pain go away but know you are not alone and your oppressors have a special place in hell.  

[jonathan123 2322]

Hi. Luaren. If I may be permitted, here's a big virtual hug from me. I am so sorry you went through such deep trauma. Things happen in life over which we have no control, which makes it all the more frustrating and makes us angry. Why me? What did I do to deserve such treatment? Have you had any counselling? As a retired counsellor I can't overestimate the value of good one to one counselling to ease the burden of bad memories. Find someone you trust, and if you can afford it, get some help. Or even a friend or family member.  You may not be surprised to learn that the majority of women patients I had had been abused in some way, and mostly within the family. They never complained for fear of causing trouble and upsetting the family. They were so often told to keep quiet for that reason. All this can lead to a fear of men in general. Even a hatred of men. Any relationships with men can be so upsetting that the person becomes anti social for fear of being hurt again. Memories can strike like a blow, and when they do it can take days for a person with anxiety to recover. Having someone you trust and can talk to about such intimate matters can help a lot. 'Going it alone' is not an option, and it's why sites such as this are so helpful.  I very much doubt that there are few women who have not had some adverse experience with men. Sexual abuse is far more common within families than we may realise. As children we have no idea what is happening and may even consider it as 'normal' behaviour, thus growing up with a distorted view of love and sex. Take care and be kind to yourself. You are in no way to blame for what has happened to you. Blaming themselves for such incidents is very common and so untrue.

[jonathan123 2322]

To anyone who has replied to my posts and not got an answer it's because  I am not getting your replies. I have informed Admin. It says you have replied but nothing comes up. I don't think it's my computer although I will check it out. Sorry about that.