Horrible flashbacks

[Lindsay_b82 0]

I was ****d and molested when I was 5 and 6 years old. I didn't tell a soul until I was in my late 20s, I'm 34 now. I've also had guns put to my head during my job, knives pulled on me in same job, and a robbed at gunpoint with it pointed in my face... trigger loaded. I'm mostly having flashbacks from my childhood, so real they physically and emotionally painful. I've tried therapy, but it just makes them worse. Any suggestions on dealing with this is much needed. Thanks. 

[Ihadcancer 316]

I'm so sorry Lindsay. That's so sad.   I have no magical words to help make this go away.  Maybe someone else will have a suggestion.

Diane

[JOYCICLE 653]

I wonder why therapy makes it worse. Maybe just from talking about it and rehashing it?  I'm no professional and I've only had limited therapy. So when I say this I'm not suggesting it is TRUE, just speculating. I think there comes a time in therapy and life when rehashing the past is no longer necessary.  You're not unaware or having repressed memories. You know exactly what happened to get to the anxious place you are today. So at some point, rather than digging in the past, it may be more helpful to find out how to live in the present.  For some folks they are not really sure how they ended up nervous and in that case, looking into all the events of childhood is helpful. If the therapist you saw made things worse, try again with another therapist. There is no reason for you have to suffer like this.  Not all therapists are the same. I saw one many years ago who I just felt very awkward and belittled by and so I only went a few times. There is no way to get healing when you dont' feel comfortable with a person.

[Mark G 1175]

I know i'm late to this but i will say this.  GET THERAPY.  I know you said it made it worse and it made it worse because you had to think about the very thing causing the pain. You definitely have PTSD and these memories from past are currently NOT memories, they are EVENTS, events that have never been processed to memory so they are as real and as frightening as the day they happened.  You will require therapy and if possible EMDR treatment which will allow you to process, accept, desensitise and let go of the events to memory.  If you fear going near these events then they will continue to bubble up these painful flashbacks.  It's not easy and you will have to confront them but my word, you will feel the benefit afterwards, trust me.

[MsLLL 410]

Dear Lindsay,

I'm sorry you've experienced what no child should. I don't know if this helps but I would like to throw this out there just in case it could make a difference. I used to have a client who was sold by her Mother as a child to be molested by men. Her brother too. She tried counseling and different medications throughout her life, on and off. Counseling triggered some memories that were burried deep in her memory and it was a tough time for her. She learned techniques through counseling when very unpleasant memories would surface to work through them when SHE WAS READY. Now, this was not an easy experience and it does take a very experienced counselor and someone you can trust. But she made it to the other side. This is a girl who used to 'cope" by cutting herself. She lives a full filled life today, has a job, her own apartment, friends but goes back into counseling if she feels she needs to. Her brother unfortunately did not have so much help and his outcome was very different. 

If you can you could reach out to a hotline in your area, they have resources for specially trained counselors. 

My very best Wishes to you!