"Will you please let me finish?!" - Problems with interrupting people

[Joeetaku 122]

I will admit that I have a problem interrupting people. It's rude, embarrassing, and I want to change it. Any advice people have on this would be most welcome.

But the main reason I'm posting is that other people interrupt each other, and yet don't seem to get called out on it.

To put this in some context, I have a colleague at work who gets frustrated when I interrupt him. He's right to be frustrated, but I've noticed him interrupt me and others too. In a group conversation today, he got annoyed at me for interrupting, I noticed before he said anything, apologised, and let him continue. I decide to listen and observe the conversation at this point. I noticed others interrupting each other and yet he said nothing of it. I have to be honest, this upset me.

Am I being paranoid, or is there something about the art of conversation I'm missing? While I want to stop my annoying habit, it feels as though some people are allowed to interrupt and some people aren't. I've done better with social anxiety in recent years but things like this do not help at all.

People interrupt each other all the time, especially politicians and televised debates! Sometimes it's impossible to get a word into a conversation without interrupting someone. I wait for somebody to finish, prepared to say what I want, buy then somebody else cuts in before I can open my mouth. When I try to follow the rules about not interrupting, I find I can't say anything at all.

[jonathan123 2269]

Hi. Joe. Ah!! The art of conversation has almost disappeared. The problem is we listen with one ear and our minds are 'topping out' with the other. By that I mean we are trying to formulate a response before the other person has finished talking. See what I mean? It we give our TOTAL attention to what the other person is saying then we can respond appropriately. But if we half listen while trying to go one better, as it were, then we can often interrupt. We can't wait to get in. Have you noticed the embarrassing silence if you just listen and don't immediately respond? That silence has to be filled so we start to talk when our minds are not properly in gear. You are right, and it annoys me too when people in interviews continually interrupt. The old ego will out. "LISTEN TO ME!!! I KNOW IT ALL". It's not so much the art of talking but of listening before responding. We can all learn lessons there. Open your mind to what is being said THEN respond.

Am I being paranoid, or is there something about the art of conversation I'm missing?

No Joe, not in the least paranoid, just normal. .                           Jon.

[Ihadcancer 315]

HI Joe, my oldest son (almost 46)  jumps on me in almost every conversation we have.  I can be talking about something like the birds already being back for the season and he'll jump on me and say 'Would you just stop talking and listen for a minute?' He claims I 'butt in' but sometimes he's getting off track and I want to know 'well what did the occupational therapist say to do for that problem?'   We only talk on the phone about once a week but he and the baby will Facetalk with me almost every night.  He's better in those conversations because I'm talking to a 1 year old ( with Down Syndrome ).  

It's very hurtful when he says those type things because he will rant about something at his work without end and if I don't interject, he'll say 'Are you there?'  It makes me very uncomfortable and I once told him if he talks to his wife the way he talks to me, their marriage will suffer.  He claimed I was totally off the wall and he never spoke rudely to me.  Many times I'll say 'Oh, here's Daddy! He wants to talk to you.'  Hubby doesn't think that's funny but understands. 

I really identify with your remarks!  My husband isn't much of a talker unless we're out to eat and then he'll tell me everything about his day and I only ask questions to keep him going or show my interest.