Beast is back

[gale 17]

Why wont this go away. I do fine for a couple of months and then it all comes back. Symptoms of feeling shakey, dizziness (like I am swaying or on a boat) fatigue and burning skin. Been this way for many many years. Somerimes I doubt this is all anxiety. Taking meds dont understand why they dont always help. Can this go on and on?  Not believing doctors either. Anyone else feel like this?

 

 

[gale 17]

Somebody please help me here...feeling so frustrated! !!!

[tarn 51]

me, Gale, I do!

Like you I'm sick of it...the fatigue is horrible, I feel like I'm wasting my life being tired all the time. I sleep whenever I can, sometimes sleeping my weekends away. I get the heat sensations also, mostly in my right foot and toes (who knows why its there) sometimes in my upper right back/shoulder. I sit on my chair at work and feel myself sway and think its an earthquake. I get twitches in my fingers - both hands. I get feelings like bugs are crawling on my skin. I've been dealing with this stuff coming up 2 years now. It comes and goes and at times it seems to have gone away then boom its back. I too wonder if its something else wrong with me, I try not to let that thought take ground because I know that's the spiral back into despair but its hard sometimes. I'm constantly reassuring myself its just anxiety, its just anxiety!

[gale 17]

Hi Tam....thanks for responding! !! Sorry you also feel this way too.All I can say it really sucks. Just wish it would all go away for good. I do get some relief but for a short time. Please keep in touch okay. ☺

[Gilly 1086]

Habit, it can become habit. And I mean for our bodies! You accept, calm down, stop worrying, it gets a little better, you have hope, you feel better for a while, then here it goes again. Triggered by hormones, stress, catching a cold, a few nights of bad sleep, an argument and boom. Back to square one. It does feel like it will never end. But it becomes normal for us to react this way, its our bodies habit.

I have gotten a whole lot better, really a good improvement. But even still I still twitch, tingle and burn sometimes, new one lately too, ITCH! I have trained my mind to just let it be, I try and ignore it and it only lasts a few hours to a day then it passes, until it added the ITCH see what the little bugger did there? Added another symptom. Drove me potty. It's happened twice, the last 2 months for a few days the week before my monthly. < Logic tells me my bro in laws wedding may have contributed to this. It was a 3 hour drive there, HUGE challenge for my agoraphobia and every time I thought of it I was terrified. I did it though, I pretty much blitzed it, no anxiety, no symptoms....until the week after

But damn hormones. Fluctuating, lack of.. I swear they are partly responsible for a lot of this crap. 

 

gale, tarn that relief for a short time will eventually become relief for longer and longer, then it will eventually get easier. And when it gets easier you worry less and that helps further. I don't think anything else is wrong anymore, just that im a bit 'broken' still. It's 6 years and 3 months since I first started to burn and tingle, that's how long it has taken me to get to this point. But do not use that at a benchmark, my life and body is not yours  My 'stressor' is constant in my life, I know that is why it has taken so long. But at the end of the day I have still gotten here, still gotten better. You will too, hopefully a lot sooner than I did

 

[gale 17]

Gilly I believe everything you say...makes so much sense to me.My frustration is that this has been going on since I was in my 20's. I am now in my 60's...so why so long. Am I doing something wrong? I take meds why dont they help. Sometimes I do have periods of relief...but boom it all comes back. Anyone else suffered this long that you know. Thats why I think it's not anxiety. Just need some answers....all I want is to feel normal!!!  

[Gilly 1086]

14 minutes ago, gale said:

Gilly I believe everything you say...makes so much sense to me.My frustration is that this has been going on since I was in my 20's. I am now in my 60's...so why so long. Am I doing something wrong? I take meds why dont they help. Sometimes I do have periods of relief...but boom it all comes back. Anyone else suffered this long that you know. Thats why I think it's not anxiety. Just need some answers....all I want is to feel normal!!!  

Of course gale, sorry I forgot you had it so long. But having it so long and your other wise health not being in decline is good, say it was neurological it would steadily worsen, any disease that is serious would worsen, right? But it hasn't worsened and it does give you some relief. What apart from anxiety could do that? Fibro? Has that been ruled out?

I've had Crohns disease since I was 12, over 30 years now. I also have IBS. A lot of people confuse the 2, they can cause similar symptoms. But IBS never caused me to almost die, it never rotted my colon and other parts of bowel so badly I developed new holes to poop out of! It's never caused me to be very, very sick in hospital and have to have my colon removed, and other bits of bowel too. Do you see what I'm saying? 

Maybe something else is going on, but after so long it cannot be serious enough to make you very sick, it causes fatigue, discomfort, anxiety and stress. Very much like IBS does for me.

Maybe you somatize?  I KNOW I do! 

"Somatization: The normal, unconscious process by which psychological distress is expressed as physical symptoms."

 

[gale 17]

Wish I could hug you!!!! All this makes sense. I have been told that I somatize....but honestly dont believe it. Guess I am saying I there is something physically wrong with me. And that scares me. Feel docs have misdiagnosed me. Sounds crazy. ...if meds dont work then its not anxiety. Am I in denial or what?  Gilly what do I do?

 

[Sunnybunny 289]

Hi Gale.  I am 45 and have had anxiety since childhood.  Diagnosed at 13.  I've realized for a long time that it was anxiety but I used to think I would outgrow it.  Ha!  It comes and goes and I have good bouts then rough spots.  Have been on meds most of my life.  They work on and off.  I think it takes a lot of trials to get the right fit with the meds and then as we age perhaps something that worked previously becomes less effective.  Whether that's due to changes in hormones and metabolism I don't know but it would make sense.

I completely understand what you and Gilley have posted here.  When I have a setback I go searching for new answers.  This time it must be something else.  Maybe it was something else all along and just wasn't properly diagnosed?  I've had my thyroid and blood sugars checked so many times.  And the tests for ulcers, though I haven't had one of those in a long time as I despise drinking the barium goo.  I've talked to doctors, read all sorts of books, surfed the web for hours on end but the undeniable fact is that I have anxiety.  Plain and simple.

I've gotten to the point where I know it's anxiety so I don't even worry about symptoms.  Well it's not that I don't worry but I just know/accept that it must be anxiety.  I have almost the opposite fear to you at this point.  What if at some time there actually is something physically wrong with me but I assume it's anxiety and ignore it to my detriment?  But then I remind myself that, if something were actually wrong, it would likely feel different somehow.  And like Gilley says it would progress and/or present itself in different ways.  Somehow I or my husband would realize it was different. 

And I agree with Gilley about the power of habit also.  We mustn't underestimate the influence of our minds.  For us long-timers these habits and patterns are so ingrained in us.  We may not even be aware of small behaviours or thought processes that affect the way we react, think, feel.

All this to say that I don't have any answers for you.  But you are not alone in your frustrations.  I just keep reminding myself to take things one day at a time.  Some days it's one hour at a time!  And I have been trying to remind myself that I don't need to fear the symptoms.  The less attention I give them the less power they will have over me.

I hope this helps you feel less alone at least.  I appreciate you sharing your concerns as I now feel less alone knowing there are others out there working through the rough days the same as me.  Best wishes to you.

[gale 17]

Thanks for your reply Sunnybunny. At this point I feel like a pain in the ass!!!!! Not that I dont believe anybody on here. Guess it's just me. What were some of your symptoms and did they last days and weeks? When mine start it goes on for weeks. Finding it so hard to function because I feel like crap!!!!  If you could give me some ways to make it go away I would appreciate it!!!!☺

[Sunnybunny 289]

Hi Gale:

NEVER feel like a pain in the ass on this forum!  Everyone is here to help each other which is what makes this site so great.

Like you I am experiencing ups and downs.  I went for years functioning quite well and then 2 years ago had a setback which I am still trying to get over.  I keep going and I do really well for many days but I have bouts of anxiety now and then, usually during times of extra stress or if I am run down or hormonal.  At 45 I am finding the hormonal issues to be a big factor :-(

My symptoms tend to change over time.  I think that's how sneaky anxiety is.  Just when we stop worrying about a particular symptom it will throw something else at us to keep us on our toes. For me the most problematic symptoms are the feelings of impending doom and danger and the obsessive worrying and "what-ifs".  They really interfere with daily life and are also the most difficult to explain to someone who doesn't understand.  Even I think I sound ridiculous sometimes! And yes they can go on for days and weeks.  But they always ease up eventually.

I am still working on it but, honestly, I think the more desperate we are to make it go away the harder it gets.  I am working on acceptance and it's an ongoing practice let me tell you.  There are lots of threads here on this site that talk about the role of acceptance in managing our anxiety.  If you think about it, it makes sense.  When we are so desperate for it to go away, we create tension, tension creates more anxiety.  Now we are stuck in a loop.  Once in the loop we start to get run down which makes us more anxious, which makes us more desperate.  And the cycle continues.

It really is true, the more I worry about my anxiety and obsess over a setback the harder it seems to get.  Accept the symptoms as nothing more than a nuisance, get on with our day and eventually they will fade into the background.  Easier said than done, I know, otherwise I wouldn't be visiting this site 30+ years after the onset of my anxiety.  But again, during the rougher patches I have to remind myself to take it "one day at a time".  We can all do that.  Anyone can make it through one day.  Tomorrow just might be a better day :-)

[gale 17]

Hi Sunnybunny....both you and Gilly have offered me some reassurance. Just had it for so dam long its hard to understand why it wants to bother me!!!!! But thanks and keep in touch.

[gale 17]

This is getting ridiculous. .I cannot get any relief. I go to bed with it and wake up feeling like crap!!!! The sensation of swaying, neck pain, fatigue and shaking will not go away..Why does this beast pick on me.  Somebody make it go away.

 

[Sunnybunny 289]

I know Gale.  Tell me, what do you do during the day and how do you deal with your symptoms?  Do you work outside the home?  What do you do with the bulk of your day and what have you been doing with your free time?  And how do you respond (emotionally and practically) when you wake up and realize the symptoms are still there? 

Do you think we could work on finding some approaches that might help lessen your fear and frustration over this?  I feel from your posts that you are very worked up and wound up over this.  I get it.  Of course you are.  You are tired of feeling like crap and constantly worrying and scanning for the symptoms, right?  So maybe another approach - if you can work on acceptance and relaxing a bit you might find some relief.  Sounds counter-intuitive I know but in my experience it is the key.  What do you think?

[gale 17]

Feel like I try so hard not to think about the symptoms...but I obviously are thinking about them. I am now retired and even when I did work the symptoms were still there. I do get some relief for maybe a few months and of course it comes back!!!! I tend to stay home when feeling lousy. very hard accepting anxiety can cause such debilitating symptoms. Feeling I will never be normal again. what helped you?

 

[tarn 51]

On ‎12‎/‎04‎/‎2016 at 11:16 PM, Gilly said:

Habit, it can become habit. And I mean for our bodies! You accept, calm down, stop worrying, it gets a little better, you have hope, you feel better for a while, then here it goes again. Triggered by hormones, stress, catching a cold, a few nights of bad sleep, an argument and boom. Back to square one. It does feel like it will never end. But it becomes normal for us to react this way, its our bodies habit.

I have gotten a whole lot better, really a good improvement. But even still I still twitch, tingle and burn sometimes, new one lately too, ITCH! I have trained my mind to just let it be, I try and ignore it and it only lasts a few hours to a day then it passes, until it added the ITCH see what the little bugger did there? Added another symptom. Drove me potty. It's happened twice, the last 2 months for a few days the week before my monthly. < Logic tells me my bro in laws wedding may have contributed to this. It was a 3 hour drive there, HUGE challenge for my agoraphobia and every time I thought of it I was terrified. I did it though, I pretty much blitzed it, no anxiety, no symptoms....until the week after

But damn hormones. Fluctuating, lack of.. I swear they are partly responsible for a lot of this crap. 

 

gale, tarn that relief for a short time will eventually become relief for longer and longer, then it will eventually get easier. And when it gets easier you worry less and that helps further. I don't think anything else is wrong anymore, just that im a bit 'broken' still. It's 6 years and 3 months since I first started to burn and tingle, that's how long it has taken me to get to this point. But do not use that at a benchmark, my life and body is not yours  My 'stressor' is constant in my life, I know that is why it has taken so long. But at the end of the day I have still gotten here, still gotten better. You will too, hopefully a lot sooner than I did

 

Hey Gilly, thanks for this, you always know the right things to say and it helps immensely. One thing I always wonder about is with all the health anxiety I have been through and thinking about all the nasty diseases dr google told me I had there is one in particular I can't let go of! it terrifies me and I can't help relate my symptoms to it. Every time I hear about this one disease I panic, I feel sick, I have become obsessed by it but avoid it at every turn. Why have I convinced myself that my symptoms are from this disease in particular! I'm so afraid of it. and when I hear about its symptoms I develop them. When I brought it up with my doctor she asked me how my balance was and I was like fine,  because it was, but since she asked me my balance has been bad, slightly off, I don't know whether I'm causing it by overthinking it. I had one sway in my balance which made me panic and now I feel like I'm analysing my balance every time I move! How do I let go of this? I'm so tired of it!

[Gilly 1086]

See how creative you can be? You did not have a balance issue before the doctor asked you, CLASSIC!!

You can only let go of it by accepting your mind is creating the symptom and it's not real, to totally let it go you have to believe your very creative mind is just mimicking what you fear, and be patient until it passes. Fwiw feeling off balance is something I had a lot of! A few of us did at the time, it's one of anxieties favourite little tricks, we affectionately nicknamed it 'the lindas' after a friend who had a funny way of trying to describe how it felt. 

Every time I felt it I told myself uh oh here comes the lindas, it helped to mock it a little

[gale 17]

Please please go away!!!!! Doc increased my ativan and zoloft...still no relief. I am in a panic mode and in denial state. How can anxiety be there for weeks and weeks?? When will I return to normal and feel able to function.  ??

[LADA 44]

You are all awesome! And I thank you for sharing. This anxiety can really do a number on our thoughts. It is the physical symptoms that conyi to give me those thoughts of "How in The Heck can this JUST be anxiety???" Right now as we spea . I am toughing it out! Dealing with everything you ladies have been talking about and dealing with! I too have a new symptom that I have never had before. I have been Feeling dizzy just standing up. Not to mention I run a daycare and I am on my feet almost all day. Yikes!!! How do you all cope with this feeling if you have had? Because this one has me puzzled. I hope you are all getting better daily!!! I really do!! Anxiety can become very difficult to deal with. Not because it is here. But, because it last for years and years. Good Luck to us all!!! Have a great day ladies and gentlemen!!! Xo

[LADA 44]

I feel for you Gale! And I am sending some virtual hugs your wa . I hope today is a much better day for you!! ☺

[jonathan123 2368]

Hi Gale.

When will I return to normal and feel able to function.  ??

I am sorry to have to say this Gale, but it will happen when you stop fighting and struggling with 'IT'. You fear the symptoms which are feelings. You fear your fear of them so you run away in your mind. But that's not possible, so you panic. Denial is not facing. FACE the fact you have anxiety and not try to run from it. Now I am NOT minimising how you feel; God knows I know how you feel, but running around in circles won't help one bit.  ACCEPTANCE will help but it takes time and time is the real problem in anxiety. Can you see how the fear of how you feel is frightening you? No doctor ever put cause of death as 'Feelings'. They may make your life miserable, but they won't harm you if you don't give them credence; don't believe in them. They have taken over because you fear them so much. You are being bluffed by a 'no thing' because that's what feelings are however horrible they may seem.

Read Gilly's post over and over. She knows.              Jon.

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