Off sick with Anxiety - advice needed

Recommended Posts

Hi all,

I'd really appreciate any advice on the following...

I've suffered with anxiety (mainly social) on and off for as long as I can remember. I've seeked different Drs help numerous occasions but hadn't ever found a Dr I was comfortable with or who I felt actually understood me - most of them just made me feel stupid, so I just struggled on. February just gone I felt my anxiety getting very bad, so I tried a new Drs surgery and the man was amazing! He gave me  paroxetine tablets and a number to call for therapy. I am on a waiting list to see a Psychological Wellbeing Practitioner. I gave it two weeks, still going in to work but I was getting worse. Beginning of March I was signed off for 2 weeks and he increased my dose. I returned to my Dr and was signed off for another 2 weeks... I have 4 days left on this sick note. It will have been a month by next Tuesday.

Meanwhile, I contacted my work and suggested I go in for a catch up meeting to discuss 'options'. Just to see what there point of view is, to explain to them where I am, what I'm currently going through, maybe even to talk about setting me up to work from home. And to see what impact my absence is having... We have set a time for tomorrow (Friday). However, I asked if my boyfriend could sit in the meeting (who I live with and who has helped me no end through all of this). My team leader said 'HR feel it would not be appropriate as he is not an employee'. She then went on to say that 'it is just an informal catch up, there are no actions coming from this other than to see how you are doing, it is not a return to work meeting.'

Surely if I proposed the meeting in the first place then it should be on my own terms? I would feel more comfortable with my boyfriend there for support and to help me if (or when) my words escape me... And if it's an informal chat then I don't see what the harm is? What's to stop me calling the meeting off and just contacting them after my next Drs appointment with an update? 

My team leader has been very understanding with all of this, and she is also quite a good friend of mine. I don't know if this makes my situation better or worse to be honest. 

I don't feel ready to return to work, at least until I have had my first therapy session... Or maybe even if I have been given an appointment date. I am currently feeling like I should request another note to cover a month. I was told today that it will be at least another 4 weeks until I see a therapist. I also want to suggest changing the reason on sick note from 'anxiety' to 'anxiety and depression'.

Has anyone else had a similar experience, or can anybody advise on any of the points I've mentioned? Any help would be a huuuuuge help as at the moment I just feel confused and don't see what's for the best.


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi CircusFreak, sorry to hear about the difficulties you're having.I know your meeting will have passed by now, but I hope the following helps if you have any more.

I think it's a very good thing that you and your team leader get on well and that she has been understanding. I honestly think you need to make the most of that, don't be afraid to open up even more to her. If your boyfriend really can't attend with you, then it sounds to me as though she is your next line of support. If your words do indeed escape you, just be honest about that too. Explain to your team leader that this is a symptom of your anxiety.

I think you should attend meetings like this no matter what. Even if it doesn't resolve anything, it shows willing to your team leader. Even if you need more time off, it tells your employers that you still care about your work and the team you work with, and that you have genuine concern for the hole you leave in that team.  

It's a shame that your boyfriend couldn't join you, but I guess HR have to have policies about outsiders coming in, for security or insurance reasons or whatever. Just remember that he'll always be on the other end of the phone before and after any other meetings like this you may have :)

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I had the exactly same problem for at least 6 years but now im perfect.When u see people u get scared because ur mind starts thinking what the people r thinking about u,are u doing smthing wrong or akward etc.What u have to do is nothing but ONLY ONE THING THAT IS CONCENTRATE and when u concentrate on what im going to tell u,ur mind will get bound not to think what others think about u nd u will get a new perception.S ee pepole think and DO,man1 thinkingbad things about somone sitting on a chair and another man2 starts abusing the same person,that someone knows what man1 is thinking somthng bad about him,now to whome he will react?of course man2 cause he abused  that means hates more or is more angry on that someone see both men hates but absuing means more hate,now more feelings r important than less feelings ,u should focus on more feelings and more feelings will ALWAYS bring some DOING,now absuing is a kind of doimg,im saying that u should not focus on what others r thinking,the ONLY THING U SHOULD SEE IS WHAT THEY DO PHISICALY.If it helps you then PLEASE help others.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.