Frustrated

[Elizabeth1976 10]

I have been wanting to get a bicycle for a couple of years.  I think it will help me get out more and be more independent.  My therapist is behind the idea.  My husband is not.  I think I finally got him to agree to it.  My husband and mother in law are trying to discourage me.

Has anyone else done this?

Now I hear the two of them talking about moving my daughter out of our place and away from me.  I am freaking out.  I am also not dumb enough to let them know I heard.

[Mark G 1187]

Why on earth would they try to get your daughter away from you?  Thats sounds absurd and massively unfair.

A bike is a great idea to get help you get out and be independent, plus, it will help with keep fit.  I honestly cannot understand why there would be concern because of this from anyone.  It could potentially open up avenues for you.

 

 

[Elizabeth1976 10]

After my husband punched me Sunday I called members of his family, as mine is over 2 hours away, and asked them to take our 10 yo daughter for a few hours.  My mother in law is now saying it was because of my anxiety and I was kicking my daughter out of the house.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I was trying to remove her from the situation.  I have never done anything to cause harm to my daughter.  My mother in law told my husband he can drop our daughter off with a friend no questions asked because I won't be able to get her there. 

My mother in law thinks walking would be better than a bike. She told me I need to be able to walk a few blocks first.  She does not get I want to be able to get home fast.  I think I can go further and return home faster on a bike.  My husband, well I have no idea why he has been agains it.  I did  get him to agree, reluctantly, that I can get one when our tax refund comes in.

I feel like the two people nearest me, physically, that should be helping me are fighting me every step.  I feel very alone.

[Mark G 1187]

I'm very sorry that you are in that situation,  it must be tough and certainly not helpful to your condition. 

Well a bike or walking is fine,  but you must go out without the pre condition that you need to get home quick should you need to as doing so sets you up for panic.  Set yourself a target and get to that target,  then return home.   Don't go out to try to go as far as you can can,  setting a girl and reaching it will be far more beneficial to you.  

The most important people in your life are you and your daughter.   It's not helpful to have resistance,  especially from people that should help.   This usually comes from ignorance of the condition and frustration.   It's not your fault,  never think that it is.  Take strength from your daughter and know that we are all here should you need us. 

[Elizabeth1976 10]

Thank you. I am so grateful this community . I'm really glad my therapist recommended it . I am taking it one day at a time , one moment at a time . I really would prefer the bicycle . I think I can set a further goal . I see your point about not worrying about getting home quickly . I will work on that . At this point I'm going with the bike simply because I'm stubborn . ?

[Mark G 1187]

Well,  with a bike,  you're still going out,  that's the main thing.  Stubbornness eh,  well that can work in your favour if applied properly.   Keep motivated,  get that bike,  set a target,  know and accept that you may feel panic when you go for a ride,  if you do,  float through it and don't fear it and don't turn back and head home,  use that stubbornness.