Hello.

[coldcomfort 0]

So, I found this site after finally deciding I needed to do something about my increasing social anxiety. For a guy that used to be the life of the party over the years I have become more and more stressed out when entering into social situations, often to the point of being physically sick. I'm actually feeling my heart hammer now while I type this because just thinking about it is enough to set me off. I'm unsure how to proceed tbh and I guess that's why I am here. I'm happy to see so much reading material here on the subject and I'm going to get started now. Sorry if this post was kind of lame, I don't really know what to do or say and I guess that's part of the problem lol.

 

Okay that's it for now.

 

Tyvm, CC.

[Mark G 1186]

Hello Coldcomfort, Welcome to AC,

I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing this panic, it's an awful things isn't it, so debilitating and frightening.  You have come to the right place however.  This forum is a haven for sufferers and anxiety and panic like us.

You are fearful of your reaction to fear, your own emotion.  You think of that situation and your reaction is fear.  You release Adrenalin which makes your heart pound, you prepare for fight or flight.  Anxiety can do this, it can do anything, give you any symptom, make you fear in an irrational way.  What do you think has caused this increase in stress over the years?  It may have been one thing which happened in the past, one thing that has created a trigger, which sent your stress level up and alerted your anxiety.  It only takes one thing to create all of this and it can spiral.  You fear the feelings you get when you are in fear/panic. (make sense?)

The trick to start putting anxiety back into it's place again is to not fear it.  Not fear panic coming, not fear it once it is here and not fear it once it leaves.  Anxiety cannot hurt you although it can make you believe it will.  It can make you feel like you are genuinely dying, yet, you don't, and a few hours later you feel relatively ok.  The think you do is accept it, accept when it comes willingly, knowing that it cannot hurt you.  Let fear and panic wash over you but don't interact with it.  I know that sounds odd, it sounds like i'm asking you to do the exact opposite to what you should do, but honestly, it's the way to deal with it.  By accepting whatever comes, you start, with time, to loose that bit of fear of it, as you practice this, you will find that the panic is not as strong when it arrives, not as potent, leaves more quickly.  Panic needs adrenalin, it needs it like a car needs fuel.  without it, it ceases to function.  Fear creates the fuel so the less fear, the less adrenalin, the less panic.  It breaks the fear-symptom-fear cycle.

There are many many fantastic posts on here regarding this.  Take a look in the articles section, methods for dealing with panic and anxiety are set out in there.  It's a fascinating read and has helped me incredibly. If it can help me, it can help you.

Please feel free to message me or any other of the good people on here if you need any advice.  

 

[Lauraatkinson 4]

Hello!!! I'm very new to this site too, it's a fab site, read lots and I think it will help you. 

I have health anxiety and I find I over think everything, maybe when you go to social events like just popping to the pub your over thinking everything when really all you need to be telling yourself is "I'm in a pub with my mates having a pint" end of. Nothing else to it. If you sat there in silence would it matter? No. If you got involved would your night actually go lots quicker and actually you would have had complete control over your social anxiety? Yes.

you need to start to learn which I am trying very hard to do is that I am in control of my health anxiety it's not in charge of me

 

 

[JungleJulia 235]

Welcome CC! Social anxiety is no fun at all  Lots of people here will sympathise with you. I struggle a lot with social events but its mostly due to my agoraphobia. Just being out at all ramps up my anxiety, but social events add a little extra stress because I can't (or shouldn't) run for the nearest exit and dash home! Its pretty hard focusing on a conversation with a person when my mind is like AAAARRRGHHH GET ME OUT OF HERE!! Anyway, you arent alone, anxiety is awful and you'll find great support from everyone here xx

[walkingwithGod 169]

Hey there and welcome!!  No need to worry about what to say on here, just say what u feel. We are all here for u. We all understand the anxiety an panic thing.. there are great people here with great advice and encouragement. ..things will get better for u, there is hope! Just take it one day at a time!!

Wendi

[coldcomfort 0]

Thanks guys, there is lots of good material here. I'd say the worst thing about this is knowing full well that there is nothing to be afraid of but still being scared witless and wanting to just hide in a hole somewhere until everybody goes away. If I get an invite to a gathering I actually WANT to go until the time gets near and the closer it gets to the time the more shaky and irrational I get.

Thanks again for the welcomes, don't take this the wrong way but being here makes me feel like less of a freak, I mean as in knowing I am among others who are fighting the same demons. :/ tyvm guys.

[JungleJulia 235]

Don't worry, we're all freaks here (haha joking!!). We are actually awesome. We are 'mentally interesting' instead of 'mentally ill'

Im the same with social stuff. I get enthusiastic and make plans, and then the closer the event comes, the more i wear myself out stressing about it, then I'm tired, and edgy, and look for ways to get out of it. If I persist and push myself to go, sometimes I perk up and do ok, other times I feel detached and just want to go home. It sucks because on some level I remember what its like to just go and enjoy being around people, but its not so easy to do it anymore   I want to get this shirt haha: http://www.lookhuman.com/design/38971-walk-up-to-the-club