*A MUST READ* - The Off Switch

[lonesailor14 653]

Hi overwhelmed

First off, triggers. I don't belive there is such a thing. It's not hormonal, it's not faulty brain chemicals or diet related. There are a heap of reasons why someone develops anxiety or panic. It could have been stress. It could have been an overload of caffeine. It could have been a near death experience or it could be something really minor. Why it happens is because we felt under some sort of threat at the time. 

For most of us that threat or stress has passed. Maybe you were behind on rent? Doing badly at uni or had a sick relative? Maybe you were sick? But now it's all over. That initial thing to set of an attack is over. It doesn't even matter if you can pinpoint the reason or not. 

What's happening now is you feel anxious, you become anxious about being anxious and keep the anxiety cycle going on and on. Anxiety is the trigger. It's not food or vitamins or hormones. Believe me on this site we've studied all avenues. Anxiety is causing you more anxiety. Fighting the anxiety is causing you more anxiety. Trying to "keep it together" is causing you more anxiety. Anxiety makes me anxious! 

Anxiety is produced by thoughts. Your thoughts and perspective are what sets you apart from everyone else. For example, one person may jump out of a plane and go sky diving without a worry in the world. Their perspective is that it is safe, fun and exhilarating. Another person's perspective would be that sky diving is terrifying, there are so many risks and things that could go wrong. The first person is not anxious. The second person is. 

To relate this in anxiety. You feel anxious. Your body is wound up, tense and you feel ill. Your perspective on this is that it's terrible! There's something really wrong and you believe you're losing your mind. You feel like you may not be able to cope doing certain things. You're confused, wondering what's going on and why. Your scared it might be really bad. 

Another perspective is... you feel anxious, you accept this and allow any feeling or sensations related to the anxiety to run their course. You don't add more fear by being afraid of how you feel because you know it will pass soon enough. You don't think you're strange, everyone feels anxiety from time to time. You see that you've had a lot going on and it's no wonder you're a bit tense. You relax and let anxiety do whatever it wants. 

The first example shows how people add more and more anxiety to an already anxious mind. This is where people get trapped. This is the trigger. Your thoughts and perspective towards the anxiety. If you can relax and allow the anxiety to be there and be OK with it, you will find the off switch. 

Work on it!  You may not get it today, but one day you will. The light bulb will switch on and all of this will make sense. 

 

 

[Overwhelmed 5]

Thank you. I think I know the original trigger that started off the anxiety 2 years ago (dealing with a school that was unsupportive and made my son's bullying worse). Maybe you are right, maybe I triggered this anxiety attack by worrying about it, I was fine (ish) on Saturday then woke on Sunday to this. I will try to ride this wave and go with it, even though I hate this feeling. Hopefully one day I will be able to recognise the initial feeling and flick that switch (hopefully soon). 

[Overwhelmed 5]

You mentioned jumping from a plane - my idea of fun. I am an adrenaline junkie and love the thrill so how come I hate that response when it occurs during a boring normal day? 

[jonathan123 2367]

Because you LIKE the feeling of skydiving. You DISLIKE the feeling of fear and anxiety. Skydiving holds no fear for you. Anxiety is all fear and you hate the feelings. Skydiving is exhilarating and that exhilaration overcomes the fear. 

During WW2 my father was a policeman in London during the Blitz. He told me a story, and it was true, about a submarine commander who would not go down an air raid shelter because of his fear of rats. He could spend hours  underwater in a submarine, sometimes being depth charged,  but could not go into a shelter!! He had little fear of being in his boat, but had a great fear of being down with rats. I would have preferred to be below because being in a submarine would horrify me. Rats I have no problem with. It's all a question of perspective.

[lonesailor14 653]

Anxiety/ fight or flight/ adrenalin when it happens before a skydive makes sense. When it happens seemingly out of nowhere, when you don't realise what it is, in the safety of your lounge room makes no sense. It startles and bewilders us. 

So you know the feeling from skydiving, so you know it's harmless. The next time you feel it in your lounge room, or anywhere else, relax! Think to yourself "heck I've jumped out of planes with this feeling, I can do it here no worries!". 

[Overwhelmed 5]

That makes sense.

I have not actually skydived yet but it is a dream, along with wing walking, but I will do other things to make the adrenaline pump (except confined spaces).

The one anxiety I really want rid of is exam anxiety - screwed up my exams this year because of it. I have 10 months to work out how to use the off switch before my next exams . Meanwhile I will try to accept this feeling and get on with life.

[lonesailor14 653]

Hi overwhelmed!

On 25/07/2016 at 9:02 PM, Overwhelmed said:

The one anxiety I really want rid of is exam anxiety - screwed up my exams this year because of it. I have 10 months to work out how to use the off switch before my next exams . Meanwhile I will try to accept this feeling and get on with life.

The point is not getting rid of it. It's allowing it to be there and not being suprised by it. 

If you go parachuting out of a plane do you expect fear and adrenalin to show up? Of course you do! 

If you're in an important exam wouldn't it be normal to be a bit nervous? Why be suprised and add more fear (second fear as Claire Weekes says) and worry about the way you feel on top of worrying about the exam? Just accept the anxiety as normal and carry on. 

Hopefully that makes sense☺

The off switch isn't a technique. It's a realisation. It's a point you get to when you've had enough of fighting off the anxiety. So you stop fighting and struggling against it and no longer care what it does to you. You accept it whole heartedly and whatever fate lies ahead. 

I'm finding it hard to explain to people. I believe it's something that can't be taught but something we each eventually find on our own in our own way. 

When you do find it, you'll have an "AHA" moment and then you'll understand what I'm trying to say. It might not be today or tomorrow but one day you'll have this moment and you'll get it. Don't give up, it will happen. The day you learn to stop fighting anxiety it will happen. 

[Mark G 1186]

Lonesailor has made a very important point.  We can explain the workings of anxiety (to the best of our knowledge) and we can provide the pointers etc but we are unable to provide that understanding, the AHA moment where it all snaps into place and you 'get' what we mean.  There is no timeframe for this, it happens when it happens so don't get disheartened if it just doesn't make sense.  Persist, read as much as you can and allow the information to sink in.  

[Ihadcancer 321]

lonesailor, for a few years, I'd feel anxiety coming and LOOK for a health symptom to blame it on and actually be in the parking lot of the walk in clinic before I had any idea why I was going.  Three, five days a week at $35 a pop!  When we did our taxes one year, I counted how many times I'd gone to the doctor with nothing wrong (or something like an ear ache which ended up being clogged from sinus) and it was 81 times!  81 TIMES!  

I wish I could remember who posted the article on AZ about anxiety and the author had talked about Border Collies.  She said that people like us are like Border Collies.  A BC will be the best dog in the world unless he's ignored and not given a job to do. They like to work. They need to work. They were born to be busy and when they're left to do nothing, they can become destructive.  She posted that not long after we'd adopted a BC puppy.  She'd torn the whole skirt off my living room sofa while we were at church for 4 hours, even tho we had two other dogs here with her.  The article said that our minds are like Border Collies.  If we sit and let our mind wander, it goes to bad places and digs up our worst fears, but if we keep busy with anything, even coloring, knitting, cleaning out the pantry, sending cards to old people who live alone.... anything.... that our minds will be kept in that 'busy zone' and unable to wander and tear up furniture, invent or blow simple symptoms out of proportion. 

I printed that out and hung it on my bulletin board.  When we cleaned off the board with last year's calendar and some reminders, it must have gotten mixed in because I no longer have it but at the bottom, in huge print that I could see across the room, I had written  "I AM A BORDER COLLIE". 

Thank you for sharing this 'off switch' with us.  When I'm at a gathering with friends like Super Bowl Sunday or even the gym, my mind almost never even flits to my anxiety.  It's like an automatic off switch when I'm laughing and my mind is busy with good stuff. 

You're a peach! 

Diane

[JOYCICLE 654]

You are exactly right. I notice some very common themes about the majority ( not all ) of us with anxious thinking.  We are stay at home moms, we are living with parents, we are retirees, we are spouses who do not work or go to school, etc. We are a class of people, who for whatever reason do not " HAVE TO " go out into the world to make the money to buy the food and electricty. Without that need to be productive, we have far too much time to sit on our butts and that is when the brain gets busy.  I have said many times idle hands / devil's workshop and anxiety IS the Devil in this scenario.  If we had to worry about where our next meal was coming from, we would not have to worry about a bump on our toe or if we will be too nervous to go to the store.  A certain amount of ' worry' is normal but we , mostly, do not have anything concrete or REAL to worry about so we fill all the gaps with silly , illogical worries.

Yes, we need a job! 

[Overwhelmed 5]

Some of us with anxious thinking have more than enough to do  - university, placement, dissertation, revision, family, housework, shopping, remembering appointments etc for other people (I do feel like a waking diary for my husband and sons), dealing with a child with chronic illnesses, dealing with the anxieties created by a child with mental health issues.  I am sure there is more but I will stop there. However, I do find my anxieties creep up when I take 2 seconds to myself or while trying to sleep so yes I complete agree idle hands are an open invitation for anxiety.  Of course there are times when I am busy and Mr. anxiety will keep whispering away to me that I am doing it all wrong or the people I am with are pretending to like me  but in general the worst times are when I am at rest.  I do guided mindfulness at night in order to sleep - my mind is busy listening to and following the instructions so does not have time to ruminate and then I fall asleep.  Don't get me wrong, anxiety is still a major issue for me but there are times (mainly bedtime) when I can find my off switch, even if it is temporary.  I am on new tablets to help with the sleep so that may also be helping.

[lonesailor14 653]

A border collie yes! I like that. I've always worked shift work. I have a week on then a week off. I drive trucks so there is a lot of time to just sit and think, or over think. 

This is a good point. 

I can't avoid this time alone but I can work on thinking about positive things rather than "what if" anxious type things. I'll try that. Thanks for pointing this out. 

[Sherri campeau 3]

I am scared

[Sherri campeau 3]

I can't think or remember anything. Like I am crazy

[JOYCICLE 654]

On 11/13/2014 at 7:51 AM, lonesailor14 said:

I am trying this this week. I'm optimistic and here's my theme song for the week .  

 

 

 

[MrsWright2018 1]

Thank you for sharing this story , it was helpful. I work hard on finding my off switch . My anxiety attacks makes my insides hurt and makes me feel like I'm losing control and I'm ready to jump off this roller coaster..

[MrsWright2018 1]

Thank you for posting this, this has really helped me out alot. I have been battling my anxiety for 4years now, and really want to find the off switch. Since I read this post , its helped me a great deal to turning the switch off and makes a lot of sense. For the past few days I have been doing alot better with shutting it off and accepting my anxiety and have been in better moods lately, my husband and I also just got a almost 10week old labrador puppy so he keeps us busy and keeps my mind focus when taking care of him , my husband and our bird :).

so thank you again for posting this , I reread this everyone and then to just remind myself that it's all made up stories conjured up from the brain.