Feeling very mixed

[becca 3]

So I'v just recently got my grade for finishing uni which im very happy with. However over the last week or so i'v been feeling very mixed, is how id best describe it. I feel like im all over the place on the inside, to others they say I look birghter and happy and more calm. But I don't feel like this on the inside. I don't no if its so much like my mood or changing or not, its differernt, like I get agitated and can't seem to sit still, I am but i'm like I just want to get out of here or like I dont no what i want but I jut feel like I want to scream.. weird I know.... like extremly frustrated where I want to pace and shout and just that I cant settle, even watching tv, i cant settle and I feel lonely. When im on my own its worse. I can be on my own during the say and keep myself busy most of the time but at night from 6/7 onwards its horrible. I start to get horrible thoughts and everything good just doesn't matter to me anymore, none of it. When my family is home its not so bad I guess. I feel on edge all the time. I should probly write this in my mood diary but I hate that stupid mood journal. I havn't seen my therapist for a while as I had to cancell the last appointment and I dont no if thats not helping. But im probly just trying to justify it with that. I hate the feeling of not being able to settle and when im agiattaed i wouldn't describe it as angry like my moods in the past. More frustrated but a different frustrated. I do know I feel very alone in my life and maybe thats it .... I have no clue.. I know i have people i can talk to on here and stuff but I feel alone generally. Anyways I just wanted to write this down to see if people know what im talking about. 

[JOYCICLE 654]

Finishing uni is  a big step and it means big changes are coming. The world, your adulthood, your career, etc. are looming in front of you now. So I'd reckon you are a bit excited because big and new things are coming. But also it's probably a little scary because big and new things are coming . Any way you could take a trip somewhere to celebrate being finished and before you begin the next phase of your life? Go and do something fun and carefree and reckless for a little while before you do the next chapter.  

So proud of you for getting those grades ! Congrats ! You're a graduate ! ( right? is that what they call in u k ? ) 

[Gilly 1086]

Plus the stress builds up, now your degree is finished, but you may still feel the affects of the build up of stress for a while. And I know where you are coming from becca, I should be happy too, but my emotions have been all over the place, angry, sad, defeated, irritated, frustrated, weepy, to resigned, giggly and optimistic.. all in a week. And I don't even know why. I have been feeling lonely too, even though I'm not alone and know that, I think this shit can make us lose ourselves, we aren't thinking or acting how we want to, were not able to and how do you feel when you don't feel yourself? Lost and lonely, and confused.

 

It is hard, but there is 1 thing you can take from this, even with everything you had to cope with, you did it, you got your degress, AND you got a first! That is an incredible achievement, and even tho you can't feel how happy that should make you, you did it, and nobody and nothing can take that away from you, I am so proud of you!! xxx

 

And yes, I would give you Dexter as a congrats present but I kinda love him a lot lol He does send big hugs and snuggles to his fave chick tho!

[Jase 15]

Hi becca, im very happy you completed your university work. im sorry though your having a rough time of it... just want to say hi and hugs.

[becca 3]

thanks