VampireEyes 2 Posted May 2, 2014 Hello, Just wanted to introduce myself. I have had OCD for about 9 years and just recently found out what it was! So I am starting therapy and it scares me a lot but it has to be better than the hell I'm going through now. I have an intense fear of HIV, blood, boldily fluids (my own and others) and other contaminants. So hello, I thought it might be nice to talk with other OCD people as most people don't get it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Holz 64 Posted May 2, 2014 Hey!welcome! Sorry to hear ur having a tough time alot of people on here u will be able to relate to, i have health anxiety with the good ol ocd tendency's i think they often go hand in hand... good on u for seeking help with therapy i hope it helps!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gilly 1086 Posted May 2, 2014 Hey VampireEyes welcome to AC We understand how you feel, I hope it helps to know you aren't alone. I have gone through periods myself of being a 'germaphobe' which is similar, I had a huge stock of antibacterial soaps and sprays as well as face masks at one point. I'm also emetophobic and when that was at it's worst so was the contamination fear. I am much better now though. Now you have been diagnosed and are starting therapy things will get better, I know it's scary but I think the anticipation is the worst part, what to expect and so on. It will not be as scary as you think it will be, I used to really love my therapy sessions once I started going, just knowing you are doing something that is going to help can be encouraging. This is the first step to getting better, it won't feel easy in the beginning, but it does get easier, hang in there you are doing all the right things! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JOYCICLE 654 Posted May 2, 2014 Hey Vampire, curious your nick name vs. your fear. Is that to face your fear or has your like of Vampire things driven the blood fear? Interesting for sure ! Glad you are here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steve4AM 14 Posted May 2, 2014 Waving hello, we don't have to shake hands! I've been dealing with contimination OCD for quite a while, it's troublesome, but you can deal with it. There are a lot of us out there in hiding, so it's not obvious how many there are You are not alone! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VampireEyes 2 Posted May 3, 2014 Hello all! Thanks for the support, I am very nervous about getting back to therapy, he told me to only wash my hands when normal people do right off the bat (after bathroom, before eating and when visibly dirty). I am wondering wht he gave a washer such a drastic order the first day, maybe to gauge how much I will resist, because you know I washed my hands more than that! Anyway I am trying to give up the delusions that I think I can, I am convinced there is blood on my hands as I am typing this but since the keys aren't red, I am moving on, hard as it is. Hey Vampire, curious your nick name vs. your fear. Is that to face your fear or has your like of Vampire things driven the blood fear? Interesting for sure ! Glad you are here. Hey Joycicle, my name comes from a part in Interview with a Vampire when Brad Pitt looks around for the first time after he becomes a vampire and Tom Cruise says "now look with your vampire eyes.." and Brad can see stuff that he couldn't before. So with my OCD, I see stuff that I didn't before like red stuff, brown spots, etc, just hyper vigilance all around, so I think it's kind of funny to think I have developed vampire eyes. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JOYCICLE 654 Posted May 4, 2014 I'm glad you're here. I hope you'll be able to share and get some of this off your chest. I do not personally have any kind of contamination ocd,,,, in fact, I'm rather slovenly when it comes to hand washing...... I have kids and animals and I clean houses for a living and at some point I realized , dirt is not that ' dirty' lol! But I do have loads of other issues , just not that particular one ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steve4AM 14 Posted May 4, 2014 yeah, that sounds like a therapist who doesn't understand C OCD - we can't just STOP, like a switch. You might continue for a bit, then see if you can't find someone better suited to help you? I consider and avoid possible germs and visible filth everywhere I go, but I don't "see things" that others don't... ( But you are mainly speaking of a level of detail, rather than actual hallucinations, right? ) I hate to say it ( because gothic stuff is cool ) but you may want to avoid horror films, heavy metal etc. for a while. The very realistic effects and creepy ideas can "spike" ( provoke OCD ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VampireEyes 2 Posted May 5, 2014 yeah, that sounds like a therapist who doesn't understand C OCD - we can't just STOP, like a switch. You might continue for a bit, then see if you can't find someone better suited to help you? I consider and avoid possible germs and visible filth everywhere I go, but I don't "see things" that others don't... ( But you are mainly speaking of a level of detail, rather than actual hallucinations, right? ) I hate to say it ( because gothic stuff is cool ) but you may want to avoid horror films, heavy metal etc. for a while. The very realistic effects and creepy ideas can "spike" ( provoke OCD ) I think he might just be putting it out there to see how I can do with the idea. But who knows. He's pretty much the best in my area, he goes the OCD conferences and keeps up with the new stuff, so hopefully it will get better. Yeah I guess I mean I notice things that other people don't notice or they just brush it off. Like when I moved back home and stayed in my old room, I noticed so many things that I hadn't before, like blood spots in the wall that I thought I cleaned from when I cut myself on my guitar, stains that bothered me, etc. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steve4AM 14 Posted May 6, 2014 Yeah, that's CBTherapy and ERP. The question is always - how much exposure to problematic things will help, and how much will be traumatic, and not help? Sometimes I wonder, do I really want to be "cured", or do I just wish that everyone else would live clean, like me? So I would not have to hide from being judged. It's entirely possible for OCD to get worse ( so you notice, or get bothered by more ), especially if caused by a traumatic event. ( Anything? ) TV Detective Monk lost his wife. For me, I had a really tough job in a dirty place, and my relationship with my GF faded out, very sad. That constant exposure to filth "could have cured me" by some theories, but it had the oposite effect. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lola100 0 Posted June 17, 2020 Hello. I'm in late middle age and started slowly getting to extreme contamination OCD. I thought I could find somewhere on the Internet that would have ways for me to get better. I don't believe I can get better, since it is at its peak. I will not go outside unless it is a day I wash my hair, because I don't want to "dirty" my pillow/bed. The three places I sit/lie down are cleaned by me every morning. The computer, my lounge chair where I watch T.V., and my bed must be pristine. The funny thing is that I don't wash my linens often because it takes so much time to wash it "right." I clean the inside of the washing machine AFTER I put the sheets in because the dirty sheets have contaminated the agitator and inside while the sheets were put in. I feel so hopeless. I went to a dozen completely worthless therapists, and one of them (a so-called CBT therapist) tried to teach me how to do my compulsions better! If anyone has any support or a baby step to start off, please respond. Thank you, Terri Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
