Does anyone find new symptoms when they start to fight back against their brain?

[moneakers 3]

So been have a REALLY bad flare of anxiety the past two months. I’m on 150 mg of Zoloft and might go up more. Was on it in the past with good results- this time it is taking longer and a higher dosage. But today I did see some more progress and I felt like I was in a place mentally where I was able to “accept” my symptoms more. I was having a bunch of symptoms and I just powered through, did my job, and told my limbic system “thank you for the thoughts and feelings”. It actually felt great! Even though I was having the symptoms, I felt empowered. So I was doing pretty good until this afternoon when I was scrolling Facebook. An acquaintance of mine posted how this was the three year anniversary of her stroke. How her husband went out to dinner and that night she started having symptoms Of a vertebral artery dissection. A few weeks later she had a stroke. She’s in her 30s as well. She recovered but of course it’s rare illness for a young person. In comes the immediate symptoms of dizziness And anxiety for me. I’ve had the dizzy symptom A LOT with anxiety in the past, so you think I’d be used to it but NO, I freak out. Then it’s hard for me to focus. It sucks, because it’s like I start to make improvement and then my brain is like: here I’m gonna throw a symptom at you HARD. I don’t like this retraining you’re doing so I’ll throw something at you so you HAVE to pay attention. 
 

Anyone else get this? So frustrating. I know I’m improving but it’s a journey.... 

[Nat1996 23]

Me me me! Oh man do I ever have those days where I wake up and feel really empowered that my anxiety isn’t going to take over my entire day, that I’m actually going to be able to accept that I can have symptoms AND go on about my life. But just like you, all it takes is reading or hearing or seeing ONE thing and my brain is like NOPE you’re still going to die so let me remind you with a new symptom at 100x the intensity. It’s so awful and so discouraging when you feel really confident about your ability to make it through a day and then anxiety comes in and takes that away from you.

The fact that you’re optimistic about your meds doing what they need to do for you is amazing as well as being aware that you’re making improvements! That’s so great! It seems like you’re headed fully in the right direction and you’re going to get knocked down maybe more times than you’d like but if some days are better than others you’re still winning 🙂 

[moneakers 3]

It’s so crazy what the brain can do!
 

And thank you! But honestly today is the first day I have felt more happy and empowered in I don’t know how long! Like my meds have kicked in just enough for me to actually be calm enough to use my strategies. Last time I went on Zoloft I thought I had terrible postpartum anxiety (and I did) but after 1-2 months on Zoloft at 100 mg basically I was “normal” again. I had almost no symptoms and it helped me so much. It was just so “easy”. This time I’ve been so sick with anxiety (for two months) and throw in some new depression and suicidal ideation in there. It’s been rough. I’ve definitely made progress over the past two months but it’s felt slow. Two days ago I was just crying and crying to God to take it away- I think He is having mercy on me, at least today because it was a better day (even with the symptoms). I had hope. 

[jonathan123 2363]

Hi. Moneakers. I never regard the mind as being the same as the brain. The brain is an organ like any other, but the mind is Master. The brain obeys it's Master. The mind says 'danger' and the brain, being a loyal servant, obeys instantly. It sends messages to the body to get ready for flight or fight. What most of us don't seem to realise is that it's a perfectly natural process.  CBT, the therapy that tries to retrain our minds, talks of 'catastrophising'. Making a bit deal out of small things. A backache and it's a serious disease!!  

Thinking differently is not easy. We have become so used to negative thinking that it has become a habit. Your last sentence says it all. You are having a better day even with the symptoms there. Now that can only be good. You are ACCEPTING the symptoms even though they are there. That's the key. Let them come, see them for what they are, go along with them. No fighting or struggling with 'IT'. This is not trying to ignore them That won't work. Face them head on. Look them in the eye. Learn from them. Gradually, very slowly, they will cease to have any effect on you. You can't run away from them. So STOP!! Turn and face them.

[BirdieS 7]

I needed to see this, so thank you for this post. I’ve had anxiety for years but seemed to be in remission - until Covid hit, and here I am again, starting a new battle with HA. I also have days where I wake up or go to sleep feeling strong, but all it takes is one small thing to set me back. My sister recently found out that a close work friend has esophageal cancer and I’ve been spiraling ever since. Sometimes I think maybe I should end my life for some relief from all this worrying, as it’s taking all of the joy from me and I just can’t cope anymore. But then I have the same visions of my kids being without me as I do when I’m terrified of dying from [insert any terminal illness here] and that keeps me plugging along.

 

sorry to hijack your post, I just really felt like I can relate.

[moneakers 3]

Jonathan- beautifully said. I guess I think brain sometimes because I am literally trying to form new pathways in my brain and it’s not easy, but it can be done. We know the brain is neuroplastic and can learn new things. 
 

And oh Birdie, I’m so glad it helped ❤️ I too have felt the exact same way recently and I’ve never experienced suicidal thoughts before. I just have been so exhausted and so done. Literally sick with anxiety. Unable to see the future. I have always struggled with anxiety too (sometimes better, sometimes worse; sometimes on meds, sometimes not) but I think everything from this year finally just crashed on me especially after weaning off my meds. For me it’s not so much fear of getting COVID but sadness about the state of the world, the “not normal-ness” of it all, and fear of the future my children may encounter. I’ve just been so sad and it’s been hard to see the future. I’m thankful some of the clouds have been lifting the past couple days. I’m not sure if “normal” people understand how much all of this has effected people who already have mental health issues. Don’t give up, I’m here if you ever want to talk ❤️

[icantbestill29 2]

I don't have much to add but I'm right there with you. Somedays, the fight doesn't even seem worth it and I only stick around for my two kids. It's exhausting. Big hugs to you. 

[jonathan123 2363]

Hi. There Moneakers. Do you honestly believe that what is going on among so called 'normal people is OK? I'm glad you put normal in italics.  I often wonder if us worriers are about the only sane people here. At least we know we have a problem, but how many 'normal people realise that. The world is full of hate and envy and frustrated people. It is also well stocked with kind understanding people. Finding the right ones is sometimes difficult. Never give in!! Give UP the fight and the struggle, but giving IN is different. Life changes from day to day. Who knows what is round the corner. Your kids need you, we all need you. You would not be on here had you no compassion for others. We need more people like us who know what real suffering is all about. Take care.