icantbestill29

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About icantbestill29

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  1. I have gone through a lot of changes in the past few months, including moving into a new home, beginning to stay at home and homeschool two kids, and massive health anxiety. My oldest kiddo has behavioral issues and ADHD and it's been hard to say the least. I'm terrified I have stage 4 skin cancer but I'm also terrified to see the doctor, I'm achy and nauseous, I'm exhausted and I'm so depressed, I can't do much but lie in bed. We're taking care of my daughter's behavioral stuff but it's an everyday struggle, which adds to the anxiety and depression. I'm so upset and sad all the time. I hate living like this. I do therapy once a week and I'm not on meds. Any support, epesically from those with kiddos, would be nice. 🙂
  2. Thank you. In my heart of hearts, I know it's not but telling that to my anxiety! It's a terrible beasty.
  3. I get them a lot, especially at night and during times of stress.
  4. What about nodular Melanoma, though?
  5. Red because I keep picking. I don't think a melanoma would scab over like that if I picked it without leaving a huge wound...
  6. https://www.flickr.com/gp/191102468@N07/jq16JL
  7. I hate Google. 😞 I definitely remember the mole or whatever darkening and getting red around it but I don't recall if it had grown. It's only around three-4 millimeters but I feel sick. Can't eat or sleep. I've had it close to three years. I know nodular melanoma grows vertically but it would get taller, too, right? The top of it scabbed over when I squeezed it, something came out and now it's skin colored underneath.
  8. I've had what I thought was a mole on my upper thigh for close to three years now. It's definitely darkened but I don't remember it increasing in size. It's about 3mm. I squeezed it a lot until the skin loosened, a pus came out and it flattened. Now it's healing nicely. I'm so terrified this was nodular melanoma and I waited too long to see the doctor and now I'm at a Stage 4. Going to make an appointment but I'm freaking out. Can you flatten a nodular melanoma? This is seriously ruining my life.
  9. I have a heavy chest without pain a lot! I'm fairly certain like others have said, it's an anxiety thing/muscular tension. I have so much tension, I can feel them spasm when I'm laying down!
  10. Coming here to stop goggling.
  11. I think because of my OCD, I kept picking at and digging my fingernails into my mole until a layer of skin formed on it, poking it, etc, and now it's white in the middle and tender to touch. I know how stupid that was but do you think the white skin/peeling is from picking at it? I can't leave it alone it seems.
  12. I'm definitely going to see the doctor. But ugh.
  13. I cannot stop googling skin cancer. I'm scared because they saw new moles are not normal and I'm 39 and have only had the one on my thigh for three or four years. It has darkened some and I did notice previously that it seemed to darken around my period. Do you think of if I had stage 4 melanoma I would have noticed signs? It's small, too, less than 6mm and never grew. But I'm terrified I let it go too long and now I'm dying. I have two kids I can't leave behind. I'm kicking myself for not getting it checked earlier. I'm so scared.
  14. I cannot stop googling skin cancer. I'm scared because they saw new moles are not normal and I'm 39 and have only had the one on my thigh for three or four years. It has darkened some and I did notice previously that it seemed to darken around my period. Do you think of if I had stage 4 melanoma I would have noticed signs? It's small, too, less than 6mm and never grew. But I'm terrified I let it go too long and now I'm dying. I have two kids I can't leave behind. I'm kicking myself for not getting it checked earlier. I'm so scared.