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probably gonna die soon

please open this im begging you

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i just noticed a small brown bruise on my leg and guess what my mind is going to? leukemia. i'm pretty sure it's been there for while but idk :/ also everyone including my therapist said the bumps on my stomach were just hives so i'm relieved with that for the most part. does anyone know how i can overall just stop worrying about my health? every time i notice the smallest thing about myself the first thing my mind goes to is some form of cancer. my anxiety is starting to make me physically sick, i constantly overthink everything. i tend to group all of my "symptoms" together and come up with multiple diagnoses. i hate living this way. absolutely hate it, what if my hives are just another sign of leukemia? or sepsis? or lupis? what if i'm manifesting things? i know i'm annoying and i'm sorry i would stop if i could. i'm so tired of having mental breakdowns every other day. i can't stop googling things either. i had brief worries about ewing sarcoma this morning, then lung cancer, and now this and this is all within a span of 3 HOURS bro. please just reassure me and let me know that everything will be fine. i'm only 15. i want to cry but i'm in the car with my mom. i have a therapist but i can't see her that much. i literally cannot even begin to describe how terrified i feel constantly. please just help me feel better. i don't know how much longer i'll be able to live like this before i end it once and for all. when i say i overthink everything i mean EVERYTHING. i worry about people making things up to make me feel better. if someone doesn't respond fast enough i think about if theyre just not replying because they know i probably do have cancer and just don't want to scare me even further. i have anxiety attacks in the car, during school zooms, when i wake up, in the bath, everywhere all the time. and my eye just started twitching, wonder what that could be!! i just feel so sick and exhausted constantly.

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4 hours ago, probably gonna die soon said:

i just noticed a small brown bruise on my leg and guess what my mind is going to? leukemia. i'm pretty sure it's been there for while but idk 😕 also everyone including my therapist said the bumps on my stomach were just hives so i'm relieved with that for the most part. does anyone know how i can overall just stop worrying about my health? every time i notice the smallest thing about myself the first thing my mind goes to is some form of cancer. my anxiety is starting to make me physically sick, i constantly overthink everything. i tend to group all of my "symptoms" together and come up with multiple diagnoses. i hate living this way. absolutely hate it, what if my hives are just another sign of leukemia? or sepsis? or lupis? what if i'm manifesting things? i know i'm annoying and i'm sorry i would stop if i could. i'm so tired of having mental breakdowns every other day. i can't stop googling things either. i had brief worries about ewing sarcoma this morning, then lung cancer, and now this and this is all within a span of 3 HOURS bro. please just reassure me and let me know that everything will be fine. i'm only 15. i want to cry but i'm in the car with my mom. i have a therapist but i can't see her that much. i literally cannot even begin to describe how terrified i feel constantly. please just help me feel better. i don't know how much longer i'll be able to live like this before i end it once and for all. when i say i overthink everything i mean EVERYTHING. i worry about people making things up to make me feel better. if someone doesn't respond fast enough i think about if theyre just not replying because they know i probably do have cancer and just don't want to scare me even further. i have anxiety attacks in the car, during school zooms, when i wake up, in the bath, everywhere all the time. and my eye just started twitching, wonder what that could be!! i just feel so sick and exhausted constantly.

I know exactly what you are going through. I know it doesn't feel like it but everything will be OK. I am here to talk if you need.

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Oh my gosh I am crying as I’m reading this because I can relate to it so much. You will be fine!! I used to have the same fears at 15 and I’m still fearful, but alive.

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This happens and it is common because of anxiety and depression. The first thing to do is ask what is causing the depression and then began the recovery to keep it stable with no meds and therapy. You will need some form of therapy which is called self-help therapy. This is where you talk to yourself to determine when or where did this depression began. Some do journal writing. Some do hobbies like painting, read puzzles, etc. The most you can do is exercise but if exercise is not for you then you will have to determine what will make your depression go away or be stable. Remember not every person's depression recovery will be the same. I do not take meds or do therapy. I do self-talk. I have good days and horrible days. I would journal write my thoughts than tear it up and put in the trash can. The least you can do is keeping yourself diverted. Hopefully, it will help you.  https://mangoclinic.com/unpopular-facts-about-depression/

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