i just noticed a small brown bruise on my leg and guess what my mind is going to? leukemia. i'm pretty sure it's been there for while but idk :/ also everyone including my therapist said the bumps on my stomach were just hives so i'm relieved with that for the most part. does anyone know how i can overall just stop worrying about my health? every time i notice the smallest thing about myself the first thing my mind goes to is some form of cancer. my anxiety is starting to make me physically sick, i constantly overthink everything. i tend to group all of my "symptoms" together and come up with multiple diagnoses. i hate living this way. absolutely hate it, what if my hives are just another sign of leukemia? or sepsis? or lupis? what if i'm manifesting things? i know i'm annoying and i'm sorry i would stop if i could. i'm so tired of having mental breakdowns every other day. i can't stop googling things either. i had brief worries about ewing sarcoma this morning, then lung cancer, and now this and this is all within a span of 3 HOURS bro. please just reassure me and let me know that everything will be fine. i'm only 15. i want to cry but i'm in the car with my mom. i have a therapist but i can't see her that much. i literally cannot even begin to describe how terrified i feel constantly. please just help me feel better. i don't know how much longer i'll be able to live like this before i end it once and for all. when i say i overthink everything i mean EVERYTHING. i worry about people making things up to make me feel better. if someone doesn't respond fast enough i think about if theyre just not replying because they know i probably do have cancer and just don't want to scare me even further. i have anxiety attacks in the car, during school zooms, when i wake up, in the bath, everywhere all the time. and my eye just started twitching, wonder what that could be!! i just feel so sick and exhausted constantly.
