Nik Nak

Relapse of ALS fears

Recommended Posts

Hi guys, I'm new to the forum but have been observing fro some time. I'm 25 years old and have been struggling with health anxiety seriously for nearly 2 years. Around 2 years ago I had my first big health anxiety scare over ALS due to perceived weakness and muscle twitching. After numerous trips to the doctors, neurologists and therapists I finally got my life back in order after I realized that it was all caused by anxiety. Fast forward to just before Christmas and health anxiety struck again with a lymph node worry (all fine), stomach cancer worry (also all fine) and now I'm stressing about ALS once again.

I was in my car the other day and I tried to whistle along to a song and it didn't come out as strongly as normal, my brain went into full panic mode about bulbar onset als. (I know it sound ridiculous). Since then I've been super paranoid about the way I am talking and the way I swallow food. I'm finding it hard to swallow food but I'm hoping it is just an anxiety symptom that is causing my throat to close up. I get myself so worked up that I can't sleep more than about 3-4 hours a night and I throw up nearly every morning because of how worked up I have made myself.

The stupid thing is, currently I can still whistle, my voice isn't slurred and I think my swallowing is normal (with the exception of the anxiety). I'm probably being ridiculous but I can't help it and all my family and friends are getting fed up with my worries all the time. I've gone back on Citalopram 20mg and have signed up for more CBT so we'll see how it goes. I just hate health anxiety so much and I needed a bit of a rant and some reassurance.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also I forgot to add that during the night I was wiggling my toes and I noticed that I can wiggle them a lot quicker on my right foot and just generally have better control of my toes on that foot. So of course I freaked out. Does anyone else have this? Is it because my right foot is my dominant foot, I'm trying not to freak out right now.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You do not have anything that even comes close to resembling ALS. We are asymmetrical. Our strength and coordination are not the same between both sides. It’s clear that you are dealing with anxiety. Good job on dealing with it in a healthy manor. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Nik Nak said:

Also I forgot to add that during the night I was wiggling my toes and I noticed that I can wiggle them a lot quicker on my right foot and just generally have better control of my toes on that foot. So of course I freaked out. Does anyone else have this? Is it because my right foot is my dominant foot, I'm trying not to freak out right now.

Whoa.. why oh why why why are you going down this path again?? I am coming up on my 2 year worry with als. I'm way better but if I even try to start testing I stop it right away . I even bought slippers so I don't watch my toes as I walk.. I will not test.. you have to tell yourself no. 

Also I have never ever read that a not strong whistle was a symptom and we both now that over focusing especially on swallowing and talking can drive you mad and it's a normal function that you are interrupting. Just leave it all be.. journal, mediate.. get out now before you get sucked in again. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, Holls said:

Whoa.. why oh why why why are you going down this path again?? I am coming up on my 2 year worry with als. I'm way better but if I even try to start testing I stop it right away . I even bought slippers so I don't watch my toes as I walk.. I will not test.. you have to tell yourself no. 

Also I have never ever read that a not strong whistle was a symptom and we both now that over focusing especially on swallowing and talking can drive you mad and it's a normal function that you are interrupting. Just leave it all be.. journal, mediate.. get out now before you get sucked in again. 

I know I’m looking into this too much and testing things. I’m just curious if it’s normal to have more control of your toes on one foot. I asked a neurologist on JustAnswer and he said that I should be able to move them equally and should go see my doctor and it’s sent me down a bit of a hole :( 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That’s one problem with online medical advise. They are going off of what you are telling them. I’m not saying you are making things up but if you saw a doc in person and wiggled your toes on each foot they may say totally normal and same. You see something because you have in the back of your mind there is something there to see. I know many on these forums use the online docs for reassurance, but I always go to my regular doc (or email with questions) because she knows me and my history and I have good insurance so it won’t cost me an arm and a leg. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, Nik Nak said:

I know I’m looking into this too much and testing things. I’m just curious if it’s normal to have more control of your toes on one foot. I asked a neurologist on JustAnswer and he said that I should be able to move them equally and should go see my doctor and it’s sent me down a bit of a hole :( 

Online doctor??? How did he examine you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, clearhead said:

Online doctor??? How did he examine you?

Yeah I know, you can only gather so much through text and he may have been taking what I said out of context. I said that I didn't have as much control of my left foot (as in I move and tap it slower than my right) but I think he got the impression that I couldn't move my toes, which I can. I can still wiggle them, I can go on my tip toes, I can point them and I can scrunch them up. I dunno my anxiety just latched on to him saying I should get it looked at. I'm worried that if I went to the doctor and showed them I couldn't wiggle my foot as fast with one foot that they would think I'm an idiot who is wasting their time. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Nik Nak said:

I know I’m looking into this too much and testing things. I’m just curious if it’s normal to have more control of your toes on one foot. I asked a neurologist on JustAnswer and he said that I should be able to move them equally and should go see my doctor and it’s sent me down a bit of a hole :(

He has to tell you to go to the doctor to cover his butt

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, Nik Nak said:

Yeah I know, you can only gather so much through text and he may have been taking what I said out of context. I said that I didn't have as much control of my left foot (as in I move and tap it slower than my right) but I think he got the impression that I couldn't move my toes, which I can. I can still wiggle them, I can go on my tip toes, I can point them and I can scrunch them up. I dunno my anxiety just latched on to him saying I should get it looked at. I'm worried that if I went to the doctor and showed them I couldn't wiggle my foot as fast with one foot that they would think I'm an idiot who is wasting their time. 

He didn’t even examine you. I have never used one of those services. I prefer face to face. That’s just me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.