armeade25

Hi friends. It's been a while! I hope you're all doing okay in this difficult time and that you are coping. I've been feeling a lot better lately (which may be why I haven't been around a lot). Lately though, my anxiety is on FIRE. Not because of anything major, but because I have so many regrets about the (unnecessary) testing I've had over my years of health anxiety. A couple chest X-rays, a mammogram, a neck CT and a head CT. I'm only 28 and it's been over the course of 8 ish years. I feel so guilty and scared, like I've given myself cancer or something from all the radiation. I've been worried almost daily lately that the damage is done and I've ruined my body/health. Can anyone relate to this? I'm struggling so much.

Landed safe! Very proud of myself. It was just fine! One more flight to go to go home but I think I can handle it.

I'm working here on the plane with my in flight wifi. I'm proud of myself for getting on the plane and managing take off and landing with moderate anxiety. I cried but levelled out eventually. 4 hour flight to go!

LOVE that your doctor is so supportive. That's amazing. Also curious what she prescribed you so I'll keep my eyes open for that post. I'm on Elavil right now - I don't think it does much for my anxiety but it definitely helps me sleep! The talk therapy holds me accountable but doesn't always help me in the moment so I understand!

I have butterflies in my stomach and am going to head to the airport around 4am. I'm looking forward to being able to say I DID IT!

SO PROUD OF YOU! You can do this! No wheels for you, girlfriend!

Y'all are making me feel so much better. I'm glad it's not just me who has the fear of plans AND the health anxiety. I'm flying with my co worker who is REALLY CALM so hopefully that will help! But I get it -- Especially @bin_tenn. Growing up, my parents always drove us to vacations because my fear was SO bad. Those long car rides always felt like forever, but I was so happy not to have to fly that it didn't matter. I don't want my partner or my future kids to have to deal with that because of me. When I turned 22, I went to Southeast Asia and taught there for 6 months. I had to take 13 flights in that period of time and was temporarily alright, but it's been quite a few years and I'm back to square one it seems. I wont let it stop me - I just wish it was easier!

I know this is a health anxiety board but I need some quick wisdom! I leave for a super exciting, important business trip on Wednesday morning, but I'm a PETRIFIED flier. I can't describe to you how scared I am on planes. I've done 30+ flights (it's hard being someone who loves to travel but hates flying). The anxiety I feel the days leading up to flying is debilitating -- but I know I can do it as I have before. I think it all ties together, because my health anxiety and my flying anxiety revolve around something bad happening to me. This is a huge opportunity career wise for me and I'm proud of myself - I want to make this trip about the experience and not about the flying. How do you manage your fears so you can live your best life?

Hi Holls! Seems like it's been a rough week around here for all of us! I just wanted to send some love and hugs your way as you always do for me! It's my recollection that you have a super great doctor, so I'm sure they'll be able to provide you with an explanation or some reassurance - I'm also sure it's nothing bad! I have bumps all over that shake me to the core so I know the feeling. ❤️

I have a constant tickle on my chest. I've been told I'm just sensitive to all things. I've had a rough couple weeks so I get it. Honestly, I have better success getting busy with tasks than relaxing - takes my mind off things! 😂 Congrats on your engagement! How exciting!

IMO, combining multiple different types of therapy can be helpful. My therapist picks and chooses which practical methods work from each. A little CBT, a little ACT and some mindfulness have been effective for me. I like a hybrid form of therapy I guess!

Hey girl! I read through this thread and thought you could use a little love/support from someone who has been through similar struggles and (somewhat) overcome them. I've had really, really bad anxiety lately, but have largely overcome the worst of it. I slip now and then, but am in a much better place than I was a few years ago. I think sometimes when we hear that we should seek professional help, it can be really hard to see it as anything but a personal attack. I don't want you to feel like anyone here is judging you. I truly believe everyone's thoughts and advice come from a positive, loving place. We all go about it a different way, but we're all truly rooting for you and for each other. I'm also going to second what @mollyfin said and reiterate -- HOLY WOW YOU GOT INTO GRAD SCHOOL! That is a massive accomplishment. I've seen you on this forum for a while and while we haven't become friends yet, I'm SO EXCITED FOR YOU. I graduated from grad school a few years ago and going was the best thing I ever did for myself. I got to leave a job I hated (YAY) and also got to graduate with a degree I'm proud of (YAY) and now have a job I love (super YAY). I want the same for you x100. I also want you to know that I had to take a TB test before school, too. I was nervous, same as you. I remember having a lot of the same thoughts you did. In fact, I remember posting in this very forum about how I was having trouble breathing a few days prior to my test (a shout out goes to @bin_tenn who is an incredibly supportive, rational mind around here who reminded me that I was okay and that I should seek help from a therapist which I did). I went through the TB test on the day I was supposed to, didn't have TB (which I wasn't super worried about - and I'm not worried about you either - you do not have TB), and got to have the best and most rewarding couple years of school. You are going to get through this, and when you do, a world of amazing opportunities are waiting for you. Like an awesome grad school experience. So let's do this TB test - if I did it, I know you can too. Message me any time - I'm here for you, as are so many others. I can't wait to hear about school!

Another TMI situation but I almost just fainted... I had a small BM that had black flecks in it... I'm freaking out.

Thanks both - my stomach is feeling a lot better this afternoon. I have none of my typical hemorrhoid symptoms like itching or pain but I'm going to pick up some OTC medication just in case. I've made an appointment with my PCP for August 6th just in case it doesn't clear up by then. Until then, I'm going to try to calm myself down -- blood is such a trigger for me, goodness.

Today my stomach feels gurgly and bloated, lots of sharp pains. This makes me more nervous there's something actually wrong.