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About moonoriquit

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  1. Does anybody with HA ever go into panic mode when hearing or reading about a particular illness they're currently worried they might have? I've worried about having just about every type of c****r in the book - currently with these headaches I can't seem to get the thought of a BT out of my mind. And every time I'm on Facebook and I see an article about someone with a BT, or even just now, I was watching Law and Order SVU, and one of the characters on the show had a BT, and I'm still feeling the aftermath of my anxiety. Suddenly my head starts to hurt, suddenly I feel nauseas, suddenly my right hand appears a bit weaker than my left. Any symptoms I hear or read that are associated with this disease, I look for in myself. I feel as though my anxiety is creating them. I don't know how to stop this. I would really like to be able to have a normal reaction to hearing about someone with c****r, without having a panic attack. However, every time I read or hear about it, I freak out and wonder if I'm suffering from the same illness. It's so frustrating!! Does anyone else go through this??
  2. Don't be scared. These same exact abdominal pains are what started my battle with health anxiety in the first place. I had a colonoscopy done, an endoscopy, a CT scan, and several blood tests done because I was convinced there was a serious problem. It turned out to be nothing at all. Literally nothing was wrong with me... and I was convinced it was something serious. My left side was aching for days. It hurt so bad I went to the ER four times!! They never found anything and now I have all these medical bills that still need to be paid. After awhile I concluded my anxiety over the whole situation made everything ten times worse. After my last physical exam ruled out any sort of abdominal issue, I was certain that it was probably nothing more than normal tummy troubles which were made worse by anxiety. (I was addicted to googling my symptoms, all which had me convinced I was a goner!) Long story short, left side abdominal pains are normal. If you already have health anxiety, they will probably be ten times stronger than people without health anxiety experience. Sad but true! Don't let it bother you. I find when I'm really busy and don't have too much time to let my mind wander my symptoms seem to vanish.
  3. Thank you both for your responses.. I'd really like to get an MRI done just not sure how to go about doing that. I'm pretty sure you either need your doctor's referral for one or if you go to the ER and say you're in excruciating pain then maybe they will give you one. I've seen my doctor twice since I started getting these headaches and he has yet to mention an MRI so maybe I will just wait it out a bit longer.
  4. So I've been having a dull but constant headache since maybe November. My health anxiety was so bad that every day was unbearable and the only thing that I thought could bring me any comfort would be an MRI telling me my brain is fine. Eventually my doc told me it was a sinus infection, gave me antibiotics, and sent me on my way. The headaches were less intense for awhile but never really went away. Recently I got a bad mucusy cough went back to my doctor and he said the same thing again. I told him my head was killing me and he told me sinusitis again. But I'm just not sure. The right side of my head hurts me so badly, sometimes the pain shoots down to my neck and it feels like the back of my head where my neck and head meet is just radiating pain. My right shoulder hurts. My right eye hurts. The scalp on the right side of my head is very tender and hurts a little to touch, the right side of my face is too. I'm trying to ignore this because I realize anxiety makes it worse but it just hurts so bad, and I'm trying to figure out what could be causing this. I have minor scoliosis and I'm wondering if I have TMJ because sometimes when I'm stressed I clench my jaw without realizing it. I'm pretty sure I've woken up doing it too so I think I do it in my sleep. I'm just so nervous it could be something worse, but I don't know what to do. The fear and anxiety in me is yelling at me right now to go to the ER and get an MRI done, but the saner side of me is reminding me of the five hospital visits I had just a few months ago when I was convinced I had colon or pancreatic c****r. Every test, including a CT scan of my stomach showed I was absolutely fine. However, I remember my stomach pain was so bad one night I was on the floor in tears. So part of me thinks my anxiety over the situation is what makes the pain worse. And yet there's still this part of me that thinks what if... And it keeps me awake all night scared and confused :/ not sure if it's worth it to go to the ER but I just cannot get over this pain. Don't know what to do.
  5. I actually didn't really like cipro at all. I would wake up and my left arm/hand would be numb.. Which obviously made my anxiety even worse thinking it was something serious. Googled it and there were all kinds of bad reviews about cipro. My knees would hurt, my arms and shoulders and stuff. But after I stopped taking the medicine the symptoms went away. So it's very possible it could just be a side effect.
  6. I went through the same thing recently and convinced myself I had colon c****r.. I think after googling the symptoms, that's when I started to think I had all of them. Googling symptoms is one of the worst things you can do because you may read a symptom, and then your anxiety kicks in because you're thinking, "oh god, what if I have this?" and before you know it something as insignificant as an upset stomach can turn into "oh my god I have colon c****r!!" (Like it did for me). I was 99.9% sure of my own self diagnosis. It took me four ER visits and several trips to different specialists along with two different procedures done for me to finally be convinced I was wrong. The experience has proven to me that sometimes anxiety gets the best of us, and despite how sure we can be there's something wrong with us, that's just the anxiety talking. Sinus headaches/infections/sinusitis have been going around a lot right now, both my parents have it, my little brother just had it, and now I have it. I've had a headache for about a week now. It's completely normal and nothing to worry about. I would stop googling your symptoms because it's only going to make you worry more. If you think it could be a sinus infection, antibiotics will help. Also maybe try a heating pad on your shoulders or some ibuprofen.
  7. I have been experiencing the same things lately, headaches, sensitivity in my eyes and pain in my ears and sinuses. My mom has reassured me it's just allergies but like you I've been worrying about it. I tend to find that the more I focus on it the worse it gets, when I don't think about it, it goes away. So maybe it really just is allergies but our anxiety has been exaggerating it!
  8. So I've been having headaches almost every day lately and I'm petrified it could be a sign of a BT? My eyes and temple area hurt really bad and sometimes I get nauseas, sensitivity to light and sound, etc. I was just in the hospital last month for stomach pains but after a bunch of tests everything ended up turning out to be normal. If I had a BT I'm thinking maybe one of those routine tests would have been off or something?? (So many test were done, blood work, chest x rays, abdomen CT scan, etc) I'm just really worried and feel like just going to the ER and getting an MRI done. I feel so scared and helpless.
  9. Going through the same thing right now : / I was reading an article about a girl with a BT and now suddenly I'm having horrible headaches. When I even think of the possibility of me having a BT, my arm starts to twitch uncontrollably bc of the anxiety. I really wish there was an off switch for these kinds of feelings.
  10. Hang in there. It's hard to talk about this kind of stuff with people who don't understand; I'm pretty sure whenever I explain my worries to my dad he thinks I'm batshit crazy. But whatever. Even though we may not be in any actual physical danger, it sure as hell feels like it. Dealing with health anxiety is emotionally draining. I feel as though one day I've conquered it, and I feel great and worry free, and then the next day, I'll hear of someone who gets something terrible, like my moms co-worker who just a week ago was diagnosed with the c word (just four years older than me!) and all of a sudden i am triggered all over again and full of worry. And it's not like one can just politely ask others to stop talking about illness in front of them, because it's bound to come up in conversation. People get sick everyday. It's just harder for us with health anxiety to separate ourselves from the situation. Maybe we hear of someone who suddenly fell very ill, we imagine the worst, and suddenly their symptoms somehow find ways to manifest themselves in us. Or maybe it just starts off as a small stress headache, or a sore throat from allergies, but for people with health anxiety this can easily turn into a nightmare. It's hard to handle. I feel on edge all the time. Unfortunately I'm pretty new to this as well so I can't really give you much insight about if it ever gets easier. But I think just having people to talk to about it is a huge healer. Also, I've had blood tests, EKG, ct scans, chest x rays-- the works. All came back normal as well. Anxiety seems to be the cause of all my health issues which isn't an easy thing to accept. I do hope you start to feel well soon!!
  11. Ugh.. I know exactly what you mean. Just recently Ive become afraid I've felt a lump just under my jaw where my lymph nodes are, and I am CONSTANTLY touching both sides under my jaw to compare if one side is really more swollen than the other. At first it feels like they are, then the feeling disappears. Found myself doing it at the movies tonight and all I could think of was the people behind me must have thought I was for sure crazy. I probably looked like I was choking myself or something. Obsessing over constantly checking yourself is the absolute worst, especially when it's in public!! At my worst, when I believed my liver was failing, I was looking in the mirror at least 20 times a day checking my eyes for jaundice. I even forced my brother to stand next to me to see if my eyes were actually white. The only remedy I can seem to find is by going to my doctor and having him reassure me I'm fine. That and maybe distracting my mind by going shopping or something.
  12. My colonoscopy was about two weeks ago, and all of my tests have been in the past month or so. It's just weird because I was feeling absolutely fine again, then all of a sudden this feeling returned in my left side. Then my anxiety started. I'm nervous I should either have more tests done or see a therapist....
  13. Once again, my health anxiety is back. I thought it was gone, after I had undergone a series of tests and even a colonoscopy and everything had come back normal. I had almost chalked the entire ordeal up to anxiety, because after I had my colonoscopy and the doc told me I was fine, the weird heavy, bloated, full feeling I had been experiencing on my left side was gone. But now it's back and it's freaking me out so badly. When I breathe in, right side feels normal, left side of my stomach feels like swollen or something. Like there's a knot in the left side of my stomach but not really painful. The skin is also slightly numb on my left side. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this before? The doctor told me it may just be I'm a little backed up or something. I, of course, jump to the worst conclusions.
  14. I totally feel your pain! I went through the same thing all month and was convinced I had both of those. After numerous tests and unnecessary trips to the ER, I have finally accepted that nothing is wrong with me. I had blood tests and the same ultrasound, just like you, both normal. And I also had the same upper chest pain but I soon learned that it was more or less caused by my anxiety/stress over me thinking I had c****r. I noticed that once I accepted the fact that the doctors would definitely know if something was up, I noticed that my stomach symptoms started to sort of go away. There are quite serious signs that appear if you have c****r. Chances are there will be blood if you use the toilet (either way). You would be vomiting and just overall very very ill. The reason you have no appetite is because you're very stressed about this whole thing, I went through the same thing. I brought it up to the doctor at the hospital and he told me once I stop worrying so much I will get my appetite back. And he was right! The second I stopped worrying I had colon c****r, I was suddenly able to eat again and I noticed feeling hungry again and I also noticed just feeling generally healthier and happier. But I really understand where you're coming from, I didn't go to work for a week and was sick to my stomach thinking I was sick with both of those. What I learned, however, is that those type of illnesses do not go unseen. If you had it, they would be able to tell. The doctors would definitely know. If you were sick with either of those, your bloodwork and ultrasound would not have been normal. Please do not worry; it's just gonna make your stomach hurt more! Anxiety and stress can do that. It doesn't mean you're sick. They are very common pains to have when you're worried about something.
  15. Thank you, I really appreciate your response!!! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Like you, I was basically convinced the results of the CT scan were going to show something bad. I was shocked when they told me there wasn't even a sign of inflammation or anything! I was in so much pain when I first went to the hospital I couldn't believe there was no cause. The anxiety caused me upper abdominal pain and at first I thought this must be pancreatic c****r for sure. Once that got completely ruled out, the pain shifted to my left side, where the colon is, because I learned (from Googling symptoms) that colon/pancreatic c****r could cause similar symptoms. THEN I found out lymphoma can cause stomach pain too! And I was checking my lymph nodes everyday! Then I started getting these terrible headaches, and I'm like, oh no it's a BT! This all happened so fast considering last month I never even thought twice about my health. I used to smoke close to a pack a day. Once I started googling my symptoms I was literally convinced I had months to live. I know if this were true, something in one of those tests would have been off, but I guess sometimes it's just hard accepting that your pain has no explainable cause. It's even worse for us chronic worriers! I'll be trying my hardest today to keep myself calm and convince myself I'm okay, and that tomorrow's test results will be normal.