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Well, I'm at it again, unfortunately. My hands have been puffy on and off for the last couple of months, and on top of that, I started having this really weird taste in my mouth about two weeks ago. Made the mistake of googling the metal taste in my mouth and finding out it's possibly related to either kidney failure, a heart problem, or Parkinson's. Or, you know, acid reflux, which my doctor thinks is the cause and which I'm taking medication for now. She doesn't think it's my heart or kidneys, which is nice, but now my muscles feel weak, like someone's drained my battery or something. She thinks it's because of anxiety, but of course, I think I have anything from a brain tumor to MS to ALS. The only reason I figure it's not Parkinson's is because I haven't heard of many people in their 30s getting that. My arms and legs seriously feel so heavy and floppy though, like they're about to poop out and stop working. I did go to the gym Wednesday and was still able to work out at my normal intensity, so that's good, but my body just feels so tired. I know it can be caused by anxiety, but it would be much easier for me to believe there wasn't something horribly wrong with me if I felt better. :-( I find myself overanalyzing every move I make to see if it feels harder than it should, and of course it does. 

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14 hours ago, DeannaW said:

Well, I'm at it again, unfortunately. My hands have been puffy on and off for the last couple of months, and on top of that, I started having this really weird taste in my mouth about two weeks ago. Made the mistake of googling the metal taste in my mouth and finding out it's possibly related to either kidney failure, a heart problem, or Parkinson's. Or, you know, acid reflux, which my doctor thinks is the cause and which I'm taking medication for now. She doesn't think it's my heart or kidneys, which is nice, but now my muscles feel weak, like someone's drained my battery or something. She thinks it's because of anxiety, but of course, I think I have anything from a brain tumor to MS to ALS. The only reason I figure it's not Parkinson's is because I haven't heard of many people in their 30s getting that. My arms and legs seriously feel so heavy and floppy though, like they're about to poop out and stop working. I did go to the gym Wednesday and was still able to work out at my normal intensity, so that's good, but my body just feels so tired. I know it can be caused by anxiety, but it would be much easier for me to believe there wasn't something horribly wrong with me if I felt better. :-( I find myself overanalyzing every move I make to see if it feels harder than it should, and of course it does. 

ALS it's not about feeling it's about failing.. yes anxiety can make you feel very floppy.. sometimes I'd think no way can I walk upstairs but I'd can just fine. Keep working out to get all of that extra adrenaline out of your body and you will feel better soon. 

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21 minutes ago, Holls said:

ALS it's not about feeling it's about failing.. yes anxiety can make you feel very floppy.. sometimes I'd think no way can I walk upstairs but I'd can just fine. Keep working out to get all of that extra adrenaline out of your body and you will feel better soon. 

Thanks, Holls, I definitely notice a change in my state of mind when I work out regularly, which I've been doing more this year. Compared to last year, I probably feel much better most of the time, but there are times like right now when I forget that, because I feel so tired and like my body is dragging. I don't feel it when I'm actually working out, but I mostly notice it when I'm sitting down and just going about my normal activities. I'll raise my arm to scratch my nose or something, and my arm feels like it just flops back into place instead of it feeling like a controlled movement. Or like when I'm walking and my arms feel extra heavy for some reason. I've had my worries about things like MS before, though, and I started feeling better after a while, so hopefully that'll happen this time. 

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2 hours ago, DeannaW said:

Thanks, Holls, I definitely notice a change in my state of mind when I work out regularly, which I've been doing more this year. Compared to last year, I probably feel much better most of the time, but there are times like right now when I forget that, because I feel so tired and like my body is dragging. I don't feel it when I'm actually working out, but I mostly notice it when I'm sitting down and just going about my normal activities. I'll raise my arm to scratch my nose or something, and my arm feels like it just flops back into place instead of it feeling like a controlled movement. Or like when I'm walking and my arms feel extra heavy for some reason. I've had my worries about things like MS before, though, and I started feeling better after a while, so hopefully that'll happen this time. 

I was looking for the right word earlier .. the way I felt was like jello.. my arms, my legs and even my core felt like jello and i felt completely exhausted.. I'm glad you are working out!!! Those worried thoughts creep back in and your hormones and adrenaline are still high so you will feel floppy/jello like until your mind is calm. That's so hard but you will get there.  

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6 hours ago, Holls said:

I was looking for the right word earlier .. the way I felt was like jello.. my arms, my legs and even my core felt like jello and i felt completely exhausted.. I'm glad you are working out!!! Those worried thoughts creep back in and your hormones and adrenaline are still high so you will feel floppy/jello like until your mind is calm. That's so hard but you will get there.  

Jello is right. Even when I shower and dry my hair, my arms feel heavy. When I find myself getting tired doing things I did easily a week ago, I start worrying that it's not going to go away and this is the beginning of some awful illness. I read other people's experiences with MS, and they say theirs started out with the same things I'm feeling. It's so hard to believe it's just anxiety sometimes, and I fear I'm going to be one of those cases where doctors kept telling me it was all in my head, and it turns out there really was something wrong the whole time.  

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Intermittent weakness in my arm and leg seem to be tied to anxiety for me too. My left hand and left foot get weak occassionally. When I feel this way, I now try to burn off the cortisol and adrenaline off and go work out, walk, bike, etc... Cortisol long term in your body can do all sorts of things.

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13 hours ago, DeannaW said:

Jello is right. Even when I shower and dry my hair, my arms feel heavy. When I find myself getting tired doing things I did easily a week ago, I start worrying that it's not going to go away and this is the beginning of some awful illness. I read other people's experiences with MS, and they say theirs started out with the same things I'm feeling. It's so hard to believe it's just anxiety sometimes, and I fear I'm going to be one of those cases where doctors kept telling me it was all in my head, and it turns out there really was something wrong the whole time.  

Yesss!! I did the same thing, when I would raise my arms to wash my hair or blow dry my daughter's hair they would feel so tired and jello like. It scared me so bad. It took a good three weeks of working out and meditation to get back to normal.. a few set backs here and there but like philb said working out helps burn off the cortisol. I had twitches too and it got rid of them too!! 

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On 5/28/2017 at 1:05 PM, Holls said:

Yesss!! I did the same thing, when I would raise my arms to wash my hair or blow dry my daughter's hair they would feel so tired and jello like. It scared me so bad. It took a good three weeks of working out and meditation to get back to normal.. a few set backs here and there but like philb said working out helps burn off the cortisol. I had twitches too and it got rid of them too!! 

Yeah, I think I'm going to have to start doing meditation again. I used to do it for ten minutes at least once a day, but I got out of doing it when I started to feel better, so it might be time to get back into it. It's interesting, because I went to the gym yesterday, and while I was definitely tired in terms of muscles, I was able to get through the workout fine and felt like I was doing better yesterday.

Fast forward to today, particularly this evening, when I had to leave a movie in the movie theater after about half an hour, because I started quietly panicking that I couldn't move my legs anymore. I could move them, of course, but I just started irrationally panicking that I wouldn't be able to, then I started testing if I could, then I had to get up and leave, because I was driving myself nuts. It's not the first time it's happened when I've been in a movie theater either. It's weird, because I love going to the movies, but I wonder if it's like sensory overload or something, and it's too overwhelming, so it sets off the anxiety? It's weird, and I definitely feel more jello-like tonight than I did yesterday. One step forward, two steps back, right? :-/

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48 minutes ago, DeannaW said:

Yeah, I think I'm going to have to start doing meditation again. I used to do it for ten minutes at least once a day, but I got out of doing it when I started to feel better, so it might be time to get back into it. It's interesting, because I went to the gym yesterday, and while I was definitely tired in terms of muscles, I was able to get through the workout fine and felt like I was doing better yesterday.

Fast forward to today, particularly this evening, when I had to leave a movie in the movie theater after about half an hour, because I started quietly panicking that I couldn't move my legs anymore. I could move them, of course, but I just started irrationally panicking that I wouldn't be able to, then I started testing if I could, then I had to get up and leave, because I was driving myself nuts. It's not the first time it's happened when I've been in a movie theater either. It's weird, because I love going to the movies, but I wonder if it's like sensory overload or something, and it's too overwhelming, so it sets off the anxiety? It's weird, and I definitely feel more jello-like tonight than I did yesterday. One step forward, two steps back, right? :-/

I think the reason you feel jello like tonight is because you got anxious and that raises your adrenaline and cortisol levels.. and your body is tired of being anxious.. that's all. 

Weird you say that about the movie!! I took my girls to see beauty and the beast a few months back and I had to take the little one to potty and I kept thinking I can't get up.. and I sure can't scoot sideways down the aisle.. but I did. I got a quick panic attack.. my legs were so weak and jello feeling that day. I went home and walked two miles to.prive to myself I'm not really weak my body only feels weak from what my anxiety is putting it through. :(

Set backs are normal I had one on Friday.. I was twitching again and almost fainted I was so upset and worried again.. I came here and got the help.i needed and luckily the twitches left that afternoon. Just keep moving forward you are doing everything right!!!

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Even on the days I don't want to meditate, I do it. I notice it creates a more disciplined mind. I use headspace.com for the guided meditations, they have a good one for anxiety that I have used. Or you could do a 2 for 1, you could go to Yoga, it seems like a ton of what I do during meditation is also taught during the yoga classes.

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54 minutes ago, philb said:

Even on the days I don't want to meditate, I do it. I notice it creates a more disciplined mind. I use headspace.com for the guided meditations, they have a good one for anxiety that I have used. Or you could do a 2 for 1, you could go to Yoga, it seems like a ton of what I do during meditation is also taught during the yoga classes.

Headspace is the one I use too! I really like that one. Also scheduled an appointment to see my therapist tomorrow. Today my left hand feels stiff and clumsy to type with so I should probably get this under control sooner rather than later. 

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41 minutes ago, DeannaW said:

Headspace is the one I use too! I really like that one. Also scheduled an appointment to see my therapist tomorrow. Today my left hand feels stiff and clumsy to type with so I should probably get this under control sooner rather than later. 

Mine left hand does too as I type this :)

So just know you have a friend out there who is going through this with you. 

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On 5/30/2017 at 11:10 AM, philb said:

Mine left hand does too as I type this :)

So just know you have a friend out there who is going through this with you. 

Thanks, philb, I appreciate it!

Went to see my therapist last night, and filled her in on what was going on, and she did her best to convince me I didn't have anything horrible wrong with me. Her motto is that if you have something serious like that, it makes itself known pretty loudly, which I agree with for the most part, but there's always part of me that has doubts. She suggested doing more aerobic exercises to burn off the stress, although she was really happy I started going to the gym again.

Which is where I just came from, and I started worrying again, because my left shoulder/arm still feels kinda shaky? The rest of me is feeling a little better, but that one shoulder is still weird. I could get through all the training tonight, but it almost feels like something is out of place or something, and it's making my shoulder muscle shake. Trying not to freak out about it, but I don't feel any pain or twitching or anything, and I know we always emphasize around here that twitching with ALS comes after muscle loss, so I almost wish I had some twitching instead of just weakness. :-/ I did find myself sleeping on my back with my arm thrown over my head a few days ago, and when I woke up, my entire shoulder was asleep and I had to pump it up and down a few times before it woke back up, but it's been feeling weird ever since. Not painful, not to the point where I can't do my normal things with it or even lift weighs, but it does kind of worry me. 

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Since my anxiety has spiked about 2 years ago, the first symptoms I have felt were muscle weakness, now its intermittent twitching and tingling. As I am writing this, my left hand is weak and it was twitching today; but I am not going to let that fear of "what if" stop me from going out tonight and playing hockey.

Just like you trained and felt something off with your shoulder, I will play hockey tonight and maybe feel something off too; but that doesn't change the fact that we both went out and did something and didn't stay frozen with fear.

From what you have told me and what your therapist has said, I would say you have nothing wrong with you as well, but what does it matter if I say it, its up to you to believe it; and with time, experience with your symptoms, and stacking up breakthroughs when your fears/worries ended up being wrong, it will be easier.

 

 

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