Emma245 28 Posted December 25, 2015 Currently sitting at my mums and feeling anxious. Just want to go home and put my pyjamas on and hide. I don't even know why I feel like this, it could be that this year I have to leave my mum on her own when we leave. She lived with my nan who died in July so she'll be on her own. We don't get on that well as it is and I know it'll be a drama when we try and leave. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan123 2358 Posted December 25, 2015 (edited) Hi. Emma. It's probably because it's Christmas that your conscience is a having a go at you. I used to have the same problem with my father who lived on his own. You have to do what you think is right. Hiding won't help, but you know that. You can keep in touch by phone or whatever, and if you live reasonably near you can be available in an emergency. But you must go to your own home. Try not to be blackmailed into doing what you don't want. If you don't get on well then to be close all the time would not be good for either of you. Every Christmas I had this guilt thing as well. I do know how you feel. Hang in there. It does work out, honest. Jon.Ashamed? Why? Never feel ashamed when there is nothing to be ashamed about. It's not your fault it's circumstances: life. Edited December 25, 2015 by jonathan123 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma245 28 Posted December 25, 2015 Thanks Jon. Still at mums but probably going home in an hour. I'm just feeling anxious in general today. Probably cos there's this expectation that everyone will get on and everyone talks about the lovely time they have with their families and the traditions. When you don't have a family like that it's hard. Going back to work and hearing all the stories and almost brig ashamed of mine.speaking of ashamed I suppose I feel it because my life could be much worse and others are worse off. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JungleJulia 235 Posted December 26, 2015 Christmas is tough for us all! I sat through almost 8 hours of socialising at 2 separate family events. I had a crying meltown before leaving home, mild anxiety all day, a panic attack after eating something with chilli in it, and at the end of the day I felt sad that I hadn't been able to relax and enjoy because i'd been so anxious. Just let this one go, dont compare your experiences to others, a lot of people make it sound great because they find it difficult too. Most people just say it was lovely because its kind of socially unacceptable to say it was a struggle :/ Either way, dont let it worry you, its just another day with anxiety! Hope for better times in 2016 xx 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan123 2358 Posted December 26, 2015 Hi. Emma."Most people just say it was lovely because its kind of socially unacceptable to say it was a struggle".Now JJ has really summed it up there. 'Yeah, I'm fine' when inside you are in turmoil because it's not done to say 'No! I'm bloody not fine; I'm a mess at the moment!'. 'Socially unacceptable'. I often wonder why we conform so much. I suppose if you speak the truth you would have few friends left. How often have you all felt like saying to a 'knowall' who gives stupid advice to the nervously ill, 'Sod off, you are a right pain because you don't know what you are talking about'. Instead we say, 'Oh, I suppose you are right, I should pull myself together.' To hell with that! Because someone is too ignorant to even begin to understand is no excuse for silly remarks."Going back to work and hearing all the stories and almost brig ashamed of mine".No Emma, that's not right. I said before you have nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of. Please, don't punish yourself. How do you know it's not a big act anyway. People will never admit to a failure, but will often bluff their way through saying what they think others want to hear. Of course you could be a lot worse off, we all could but that's not the point. YOU are in an uncomfortable situation NOW. It's your welfare you have to look to. If you are not up to par then you aren't much use to those around you."Just let this one go, dont compare your experiences to others".I couldn't agree with JJ more. You can't compare because you and your situation are unique to you. Try not to internalise so much especially what others say. It's fact that nothing is ever as it seems. Jon. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma245 28 Posted December 26, 2015 That's like me Julia, I felt sad that I couldn't enjoy it. Christmas is always hard for me but this year I've felt more down than in a long time!thank you for your support-both of you xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
