Constant Fight or Flight

[Static_Grace 4]

I'm so thankful to have found this place because the people here are amazing. 

 

I'm still going through the crippling anxiety; what feels like near constant panic. The newest symptom seems to be burning skin going from just my arms to top of head to all over at different points, itching all over the body that has now after three weeks turned into a more burning itch and of course when only one or two bumps show up my mind tricks me into thinking it's something seriously wrong. Been taking Benedryl the last day and a half to some relief; partly because of it's sleepiness properties? I've been reading Claire Weeks 'Peace for Nervous Suffering' and am trying to implement that into my psyche. 

 

I was almost put in inpatient the other day because my anxiety is so high, I get myself so worked up, I don't know how to get down. It's just unbelievable how the mind can cause the body to react and to be in this constant state of nervous tension/panic just ruins everything. I started Sertraline two nights ago, so hopefully in the next week or so there's some relief starting, I think I'm more scared of being in a psych-unit again than anything, but sometimes it seems the only way, but it's not. This whole process just takes time and the fact that I'm starting at a new mental health place kind of compounds things, but is also really hopeful that I will get the right kind of help and we are going to be start CBT this week. 

 

How do you cope when you've been in the cycle so long? I've been doing the visualization to a little relief also. 

 

Thanks for listening and any advice or words of wisdom you may have. 

[Gilly 1086]

Hi Grace, sorry to hear you are having such horrible anxiety, and horrible symptoms. I hope the sertraline starts to help soon. I had horrible extreme anxiety with the burning skin (as well as some other freaky sensations) like you described for over a year, I was prescribed citalopram but was too scared to take it at the time, the symptoms and my anxiety did eventually get better, therapy and time helped me, and finding amazing people who understood online! Knowing I wasn't alone, going crazy or had some rare disease helped a great deal, and then I did CBT just over a year ago and that helped me SO much. I hope it helps you too.

 

I think the best thing I can say is to take it one day at a time, don't think too far ahead, stay in the moment but have some belief that it is going to get better, you are doing all the right things to help the process along. Take some time out each day for YOU, some me time, I used to have a lavender bubble bath every night, and then paint my nails, it was just 30 minutes for me, where in the bath I didn't feel the burning, it was some relief and I looked forward to it every day. Then someone told me about epsom salt baths, a natural source of magnesium (helps to relax) and also minerals that help the nervous and immune system. I started adding 2 cups to my bath every time and I swear, within weeks I started to notice a difference.

 

The medication will help, the CBT will help, everything you are doing will help, I know it is too difficult to believe that when you feel so horribly anxious all the time but if you can try and be positive that soon this will start to get better that is helping yourself even further.

 

Claire Weekes was a remarkably smart lady, and she got us, I'm glad you have her book. It's such a great help, lady was a genius. Your nervous system like mine was, is in overdrive right now, it isn't going to harm you, it just needs to recover, you need to break that cycle and like I said you are doing everything right to help that along, hang in there!

[Sunnybunny 289]

Hi Grace. Gilly has offered some good advice.

It really does sound like you are on the right track. Things will start to improve but you definitely have to be patient for a while. Over time the symptom free period will become more frequent and longer. The medication and CBT is going to help a ton.

Lots of people understand what you are feeling so you are definitely not alone. Just remember to take it one day, actually more like one hour, ata a time and you will be fine :-)

[Static_Grace 4]

Thank you both, it helped a lot hearing from you. That's something that scared me tonight, we were driving home and I just got so angry for about 15 minutes and I thought, "Oh no!" the meds are gonna have a bad effect and then when I let myself think logically about it, I thought, I'm just angry it's taking so long and it's really not because I've only been on the med, this will be my third night. It's just so exhausting and I need to get out of the mindset that the only way to start recovery is through hospital because you all are inspirations that it can be done on my own.

 

Anyway, thank you again! So muchly appreciated. 

[jonathan123 2368]

Hi Grace. Getting angry is part of recovery. It is not so much anger as frustration in that it all seems to be taking so long. It does depend on the depth of the suffering and how long you have been like it. You have begun recovery but give it time, as much time as it takes. Being impatient with time is one of the things we have to guard against when recovering. It creates more tension and does nothing for the anxiety. Acceptance again; more acceptance, until it becomes the habit to replace anticipation. You have the 'bible' and if you do what the good doctor days you will not go wrong. It is difficult I know only too well, but it can be done. Have you got her CD's? Her voice is such a comfort. I still play them after thirty years. (I still have the original tapes!!) Don't be too put off by what I call the 'yo, yo' effect, up and down. It happens and like all the symptoms needs to be accepted.    Good luck, you are doing well.      Jon. 

[Gilly 1086]

Aww grace, no. The hospital is there, and that is a good thing, for those who need it, but you do not need the hospital to get better. Right now your emotions are so overwhelmed, I can remember feeling the same, I can remember my husbands frustrations and how I would break down crying and begging him to help me, even if that meant going into the hospital, even though I was terrified, I just felt broken and unable to cope. Emphasis on FELT, because despite feeling like that it wasn't true. Our mindset becomes one of helplessness and fear, but it isn't true, it is temporary and fueled by anxious thinking. Try and let the medication do its thing, you are anticipating all things bad because of your current anxious mindset, try and reassure yourself that thinking these things does not make it so. You are going to get through this and you are going to be ok!

[Sunnybunny 289]

You def do not need the hospital Grace. And you are only a few days on the meds so rest assured they haven't even had enough item to start to work yet.

It is hard work when anxiety feels like all you know but you really are doing great.

Jon's comments about patience and acceptance are spot on. I know how hard it is to relax and trust but really if we can just let it go things will feel so much better. You can do it!

[Sunnybunny 289]

Actually, I should not have said "you can do it". You are doing it!

[Static_Grace 4]

Thank you all so much! I told my doctor yesterday about the support I've found here. 

 

An Update: I had to stop the Zoloft after 3 days due to severe upset stomach, nausea, diarrhea, dry mouth and muscle weakness. So she is starting me today on 10mg of fluoxetine to go up to 20mg because that had helped before and I went off it when the pill looked different due to manufacturer change (fear) and it coincided with the anniversary of my dad's death a few months ago, so obviously I wasn't dealing with it as well as I thought I was. I kept getting this weird fullness feeling in the front of my head and throat for a couple hours and an upset stomach and then it would subside. I had myself convinced it was because the med wasn't "the same." Well aparently that was my anxiety talking and I just wonder if I could have saved myself some suffering, but no use in looking back only here and now and forward on! 

 

Worst at the moment is waking up to anxiety or a panic attack, as I did today. One symptom that seemed to have come on within the last two-ish days is difficulty breathing/tight chest, sore upper arms and sometimes back (yesterday and today). I was looking around here and saw the post about 'shutting your mouth and breath' so I've been doing that the whole time I've been typing and I do believe it is working! 

[jonathan123 2368]

Hi Grace. In the mornings, when we wake up there can be a moment of peace, and then the memory (what a curse is memory), reminds us of the anxiety and off we go on the old cycle; that is if we don't accept it as part of recovery. Our metabolism is low in the mornings. The body needs time to gather energy for the day ahead, so give it time by accepting that it will pass if we allow it to and not get in the way with the 'what 'ifs'. Just as with a wound Nature is always ready to heal if we stay out of her way. If we have a sore place and keep picking at it it will never heal. So with anxiety. We can't leave it alone to heal, we 'pick at it' continually. The OMG's come thick and fast. If only we could accept totally and thus cut off the adrenaline flow, which is at the root of the problem, all would be well. The symptoms you describe in the last paragraph of your post are absolutely typical of anxiety. I would suggest we have all had them. I believe you are doing better than you think so keep doing what you are doing.      Jon.

[kozza 6]

Hi Grace  Hope you are feeling better? I totally understand about the burning, I had it all on my back and arms and feet along with aching. I too have just started reading Claire Weekes and so far finding a lot of sense in her writing. Keep reading and believing you will recover

[Static_Grace 4]

Hey all, thanks so much. I did end up in an acute psych care unit for two weeks, just got home yesterday. The Zoloft and I did not interact well, but I'm back on Prozac and that is making a big difference being home has been causing an up-shift in my anxiety and symptoms like itchiness and feeling of difficult breathing and chest pain on and off, but I know in a few days that will settle down. Because I was okay in the hospital, only my pulse seemed to stay high and sometimes my b/p, but I think that's just the anxiety being constantly present and still not completely settled. Working on finishing Peace for Nervous Sufferers and staying in the PRESENT. That is one of my big things to work on. 

 

Does anyone else ever wake up with that prickling in their hands (as if they are asleep) I think it's part the way I sleep and part anxiety in my sleep. Just curious. 

 

But thank you so much for the support and encouragement.