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Bee123

Concert Fear

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In a few weeks i'll be going to a concert with my best friend who is travelling interstate to see it with me. I've been to a few in the past but I think this will be the biggest.

I have terrible social anxiey, i've barely left my house the last 2 months and I get drained and exhausted even having a 5 minute conversatiom with anyone.

I'm getting bad anxiety. We're dressing up which means people have a higher chance of looking at me and I HATE people looking at me. I have an irrational fear that i'm going to have a seizure from all the lights, or pass out from the heat of being in the moshpit or my heart beat will go irregular from the pounding of the speakers. Loud music and loud people make me panicked and disorientated.

I recently ended an abusive relationship and at the back of my mind i'm still petrified i'll get in trouble for doing this cause I was never allowed to hang out with friends let alone go to a different city, stay in a hotel and see a concert.

I know it was silly of me to go but my friend loves the performer and I didn't start getting freaked out about it until recently. My plan would be to get completely wasted before going in but they can refuse entry if you're too intoxicated and i'd probably get dehydrated. Ah someone help.

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Hi Bee.  I'm afraid I can't really offer any suggestions other than don't get wasted first!  But I can offer some encouragement.  Concerts are tough for me too.  The crowds, the loud music, all the fears you mention about the heat, lights, pounding speakers.I have been to several concerts in the past few years and nothing bad has happened.  Really the things we worry about don't happen.  People go and enjoy themselves.  End of story.

 

Every time I go to a concert I start to regret buying the tickets in the first place.  I get there and want to leave.  Like really want to leave!  I imagine all kinds of awful things that might happen.  But my husband is there and I know I will be fine when I'm with him.  So eventually I start to settle down and pay attention to the music and then by the time it's over I wish it wasn't! 

 

So I guess my advice is to go and try to really focus on the music and your friend.  Who cares about the other people that are there?  You will likely never see them again anyhow.  Try to divert your attention from the aspects of the concert that scare you by focusing on something that interests you like the costumes or how often the lead guitarist switches instruments.  Focus on which instruments you can hear most at different parts of the songs.  Just get involved in the reason you are there (to hear the music) and don't focus on the other stuff.

 

Don't worry if you don't feel well at first.  Many people feel anticipation before a big event and that's entirely normal.  Just try to relax and get into it.  You can do it and you will have a great time!

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Hi Bee. Some years ago and as I was recovering from bad GAD I went to a rather large party where the music was so loud that the galsses were vibrating on the tables! After a very short time I had to rush outside. It took a few weeks to recover from that. That is not silly it is how noise can take us. Anticipation can be real monster in anxiety but often the event is far less of a bad experience than we think it will be. If you are just emerging from an abusive relationship then it is no wonder you feel as you do. It is almost as if you still need permission to enjoy yourself. It is said that recovery lies in the places we fear. It sounds hard but there is a lot of truth in it. The last sentence of Suny's post is right. GO and have a good time even if, at first, you feel apprehensive. Let them look at you; so what! If that's all they have to do then pity them. You will not recover unless you accept the challenge.      Jon.

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Thankyou guys for your advice and support. It's reassuring to know there are people who understand. I'll try my hardest to go and have a good time.

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I went to THREE concerts over the last 2 yrs. All of which would have seemed impossible about 4 yrs ago. One I went with my siblings to a smaller local venue and two where I took my daughter to a pretty big venue to see some of her bands. I promise you this. The anticipation is SO much worse than the actual event. The mind telling you all of the things that can go wrong is just plain FALSE. Once I got there I never had another worrisome thought. I even enjoyed myself at concerts with a load of teenagers screaming to songs I do not know. There was so much activity to focus on I had no time to internalize . I was watching the concert goers and what they had on and their crazy hairstyles and seeing people milling around and that  distracted me. About half way in , I was thinking ''hey this aint so bad'' and it wasn't. I even chatted up with strangers ! 

You will do fine. The voice telling you it will all suck is a LIAR ! 

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So I went to the concert, was right up the front near the stage, danced and sang until I lost my voice and my legs ached. I talked to random people next to me. Most importantly I had the time of my life :) Take that anxiety!!

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That is awesome!!! I am so glad for you. Thank you for reporting back and letting us know how it went. Really thrilled for you that you had such a good time.

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