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Everyday is torture

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I’m sorry for all that I’m going to write but I need to get my feelings out. I really don’t know what to do anymore I’ve been suffering with ocd hocd health anxiety sadness since I was 17 I turned 35 two weeks ago. I feel old and I just am not able to handle it all anymore. I’ve tried help no one is able to help I had all these years stolen from me watching everyone else around me love the life I want

I never felt more sad I don’t remember the last time I enjoyed anything I really don’t. My ocd tortures me with terrifying thoughts that I would never say or do. I have feelings for a guy he’s a celebrity which I never really do but  this guy I thought was special but besides the hocd making me constantly doubt I really like him and tries to ruin it not even enjoy that. I obsess over him know I shouldn’t but that’s way that i am. I cried today watching a movie he’s in worrying he likes the girl in it I know but my feelings for him are real it hurts like real life rejection.

Having feelings for him have me a tiny bit of excitement though hocd ruined that and worrying about him liking the girl now I don’t know what to do

I don’t know what to do anymore I have nothing to look forward to anymore I know wanting to be loved has been something I wanted as far as I remember but it’s obvious it’s never gonna happen I don’t go a day without hearing how the world thinks I’m old and guys won’t want me for my age

Im told I feel sorry for myself from those that I know but it’s not that I’ve been dealing with this for long time and I don’t even remember what not feeling this way torture by thoughts use to be. I just sleep all day nothing else to do. Anyone have advice 

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Actors.  He may or may not have even gotten along with the female lead.  He could have bad breath, a drug issue, sex addiction, or anything else under the sun.

A lot of them have lives we actually wouldn't want.  They struggle for the next job.  They are people, just like us.

We have to learn to see things a different way, in other words.  The grass isn't always greener on the other side!

The scary thoughts are just that - scary thoughts - they are just a distraction.  Something frightens you enough that the thought comes in to disable your power.  The key to it is breaking at it a little at a time.   We know you are not going to hurt somebody, or rob a bank, or throw up like the Exorcist Girl.  We can tell by your post.  Yeah, it looks strange to read it, but it's true. 

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