rainbow

been a long time

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Hi Everyone, 

I used to be a member here 5 years ago. I can see alot of changes, but good ones ūüôā¬† I had always wanted to share a success story here, as I used to read them and wish that could be me. I am here to tell you, you can mange your anxiety and depression, I don't think you can cure ANXIETY. That is something every human being is born with, it's just how you handle it.¬†

I have had GAD and depression off and on all my life, usually brought on my big stressors in my life, losing my mom suddenly when I was 16, divorce, re-marriage and the latest one was losing my job after being there for almost 17 years. I was bullied out of my job. That itself is a long story. I went into a really dark place, daily tension in my muscles, anxiety attacks, depression, and 2 mental breakdowns.... I think everything I had been through in my life was all coming out.... alot of anger at myself,  and other people, scared and fearful of how we would manage with only one income coming in. My whole identity had been that job.  When that got taken away from me, I took it really hard. 

Well I wanted to tell you with trauma therapy, CBT and other things I did, I am in a much better place. The main thing I learned is to accept the ANXIETY,  don't be scared of it, sit with it. It will eventually subside...when I look back now, I am so glad I lost my job.. It was a toxic environment, and I only stayed there because I was afraid of change. Now  I am doing things that I thought I could never do before, like a talk on local station to address mental issues amongst our community and especially with young people,  I have done volunteer work at a local organization that helps people dealing with mental challenges, I am currently writing a short story on my mental health journey.  I share all this not to brag but to give you hope that you can get through this with hard work, a supportive network and lastly BELIEVE IN YOURSELF..... I was always looking for a quick fix or seeking reassurance from others. Well let me tell you it doesn't work. The only person who could fix me, was ME... its hard work, and you have to be consistent.  I am slowly learning to love myself, and I don't need the approval others anymore, and also speaking up for myself something I could not do for a very long time. 

Anyways I could go on forever,  I just wanted to pop in and say Hello and give hope to those of you who are still struggling. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I consider myself a spiritual  person, and when I was in the depths of despair I begged and I mean literally begged God to help me and he did !!!   I still have good days and bad days, but life is a journey that will have its up and downs....it's how we choose to deal with these challenges. 

God bless ūüôā¬†

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Hi Rainbow. Good to hear from you again. I remember you from the early days on this site. It's so very good to get a post like yours. You sum up what recovery really means. Of course there is no 'cure' for anxiety. Some of us are wired that way. But it can be managed so that it does not unduly affect our lives, and that's what you have done. The vast majority of anxious people are sensitive, and this world is not a place for sensitive people! But to live in some sort of peace we must learn to manage our anxiety.

 "I was always looking for a quick fix or seeking reassurance from others. Well let me tell you it doesn't work" You are so right. Reassurance may give very temporary relief, but when it comes down to it YOU are the only person who can really help yourself. By acceptance and patience, (very difficult), no one who has been there would say it's easy, not by any means. It takes perseverance and a lot of acceptance, but it can be done.

YES!! Don't be afraid of 'IT'. The more you allow the fear of the fear to come the worse it will be. Sit down with it, ask it what it is trying to show you about your life. For any affect (anxiety) there must be a cause. That is the law of physics. It applies just as well with anxiety. Losing your job must have been traumatic, but good has come out of it. None of us know what life holds for us, but as a medieval monk once said, "The dark cloud that breaks with blessings on your head". Thank you for your post, and I hope all goes well for you. 

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thank you for your kind words John.¬†ūüėä

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