shea7692 4 Report post Posted October 8, 2013 More verbal, mental, emotional abuse off my Dad. My head feels so messed up from everything over the years that has just piled up and up and it's literally like...All I can think about is beating the cr** out of him or k*lling him or myself. So much rage and hurt inside I just can't even think straight. He piles it on, on top of everything, but he doesn't care. Literally does.not.care. Life's all about him and what he wants, and he will twist EVERYTHING to make me look bad, and then calls me mental, saying I need to "be taken away by men in white coats, and thrown in a padded cell." I'm sick of the threats to hit me, throw me out and make me homeless, making me feel inadequate, wishing I wasn't born. I already feel those things...I've been bullied my whole life by almost everyone in my entire grade at school, and always had to come home to this. Over the years it's gotten worse and I swear one day I'll be driven to either sui**de or m**der. I'm a good person but everything is turning me more and more evil and sour and I can't do it anymore. There's only one escape for me and I need to take it. No one ever, EVER believes me or helps me with him, and even the minority who do can't change what he does to me. I can't do this anymore...I'm so sorry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Always-onguard 20 Report post Posted October 8, 2013 Shea, Please don't hurt yourself or do something you will regret. There are always altermatives. Try calling a soicial worker or some kind of shelter. Hell, call the police. If you are a minor that is child abuse. You need to get out of that environment, it is toi toxic. Call chid protective services. You can't be treated this way. Please find some help. Are you in the USA? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gilly 1075 Report post Posted October 8, 2013 Shea, you need to get out of there, go to your GP tomorrow, tell them all this, tell them what you fear might happen, it's OK! Your health and safety is suffering being there, the doctor can put you in contact with the right people to help, there are people out there who can and do want to help you. You can be placed in a safe place, a hostel or shelter until they find you a home of your own to rent, and you can get help with that. Being pregnant puts you as high priority. Don't give up you have so much to look forward to (hugs) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shea7692 4 Report post Posted October 8, 2013 I'm not a minor unfortunately; I'm 21 and severely agoraphobic which means I can't leave the house. Social NEVER listened to me when I was underage. Neither do the Police. I've tried everything over the years but nobody believes me cause he puts on the nice act. All because he's got a job that pays over £50,000 a year and is a 'model citizen', and because I have a mental illness, I get disregarded. I get bullied in AND out of home; I'm terrified to go out because everyone round here absolutely hates me and they WILL say/do something, pregnant or not. I'm not making this up, it's true. Can't even begin to describe the hatred people have for me here, even though I tried to mend bridges. I want to get out but I can't. The only other way is this. I'm sorry I hate to sound 'attention seeking' or whatever, but I just. I'm desperate. My fiance is in bits cause he's seen me harm myself tonight; I didn't mean for him to see that...I wasn't thinking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Always-onguard 20 Report post Posted October 9, 2013 Shea, I know it's hard with the agoraphobia. But you need to get out of there. Even going to the emergency room. That mighr be your best bet now. Have your fiance take you there. Tell them you have severe depression and you are pregnant and you will hurt yourself. They will help you there. In the States they would put you on a "72hr psych hold". They will help you. DO NOT HURT YOURSELF! It will not accomplish anything and only hurt your baby and your fiance. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gilly 1075 Report post Posted October 9, 2013 It's got nothing to do with being a minor. You can get your own home, your own new safe place. You just need to apply, council, housing association, being pregnant and your current situation will make you a priority. Shea I know agoraphobia is hard, I suffer from it too, but you can do this, this situation is painful too, you can break that cycle of pain. Let your fiance help you, go to the doctor or the hospital, let him take you. You can make a fresh start somewhere new. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shea7692 4 Report post Posted October 9, 2013 Always on Guard: I used to live in the States; I'm originally from Florida. Been in the UK since late 2007 and it's been hell since we came here. I don't need a psychiatric hold, I just need to be able to go out so I can get my own place. I honestly can't go out. I've tried so many times and can't get further then the end of my street I've only been able to go to hospital appointments and check ups for baby, but other than that...I physically can't do it. I don't know why. Craig's helping me so much, but it's taking too long. It's such a huge struggle :'( xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
