Should I Worry? (Skin C)

[Ms.Moon 18]

10 minutes ago, Zazz said:

I got up the courage to mention it to my therapist. She asked me if it was a cigarette burn. I DON'T EVEN SMOKE CIGARETTES!

This is exactly why I hadn't told anyone IRL. They're more willing to think I did it to myself! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MY OCD IS AFRAID OF!

In order for you to get peace of mind go see your dermatologist.  I have dark lines on my toenails I of course diagnosed myself with skin cancer.  When I saw my podiatrist  it’s nothing.    You need to see your derm and settle your mind.  

[Zazz 20]

I'm sure my PCP can handle taking a biopsy. If he doesn't... I guess that is what it is. My insurance doesn't like to send me to the dermatolgist. I would literally have to wait longer for my PCP to send through a referral when he could just do a biopsy in office and tell me what it is before I'll even get in to see the dermatolgist. I see him tomorrow.

[Zazz 20]

10 minutes ago, Total Eclipse said:

A therapist isn't a MD and likely wouldn't know what it is. A cigarette having some ash flickered can cause some burn or even oil frying something in a pain. She could of thought it was a heat blister. Which is why she asked. She likely was not meaning you were purposely doing these things to yourself. 

You're right. I just sent her a photo. I don't think it looks like a cigarette burn at all (as I have done that but it's been a very very long time...).

I just worry that's what everyone's going to think. I found an article in my research of trauma simulated hobnail hemamgioma (and this is why you don't Google). It did not look like mine though. Hoping doctors can tell the difference? And aren't going to think I have Munchausens or something. I'll take hypochondria... maybe two weeks is jumping the gun? But I feel like with how it's grown it's logical.

[Zazz 20]

2 minutes ago, Total Eclipse said:

I wouldn't mention cancer in your primary care visit and hyper focus on that. It could be a lot of other things other than cancer. Maybe to her it looked like an injury, and she was trying to calm you? Jumping it to thinking they think you have munchausen syndrome is a bit extreme. 

Yeah? Well... I guess that's the nature of my OCD. I did that with my Psoriasis too. Also why I never mentioned my photophobia.

[Jennifer1 8]

Zazz... you're concerned about a lesion on your skin, it is a responsible, proactive, adult decision to have it looked at. 

 

[Zazz 20]

17 hours ago, Jennifer1 said:

Zazz... you're concerned about a lesion on your skin, it is a responsible, proactive, adult decision to have it looked at. 

 

Thank you for that. That was what kept rolling around in my head "any reasonable person would have this looked at".

I'm just practicing what I'm going to say. Maybe I can get out of there without feeling like I made a fool out of myself.

I go in about mid-day. Wish me luck I guess.

[Jennifer1 8]

Checking in for an update.. wishing you all the best Zazz. 

[Jennifer1 8]

Zazz??  

[Zazz 20]

Sorry about the wait. I haven't wanted to think about it (I mean... I've been thinking about it regardless - but I've been trying to distract myself).

I went in. I didn't say anything about cancer. I suggested maybe it was infected. Doctor suggested maybe it's just blood. I said that would be my luck since I'm prone to blood spots.

He didn't biopsy... and I'm ticked about that. He did scope it and said it's probably nothing but we need to make sure it's not something bad (at least he clearly thought the same thing!). He's sending me back to the dermatologist and said it's not really urgent (I hope he acts like it is though!). Now we play the waiting game and I have to call to see if it's gone through yet so I can book an appointment. $#@&

Now I'm mad. But like the quiet, brooding, sulking kind of mad. It's 6mm now. It has been growing faster... I swear... the longer it's there (that is probably my imagination)... and either it's bleeding like a fountain with no signs of stopping or... we know what the or is.

Gah... 😒

[Zazz 20]

43 minutes ago, Total Eclipse said:

A general doctor can only say so much. From what he’s seeing, he doesn’t think it’s cancer which is great. But he wants someone else to double check. I would not advice removing something like that yourself. That could cause more infection or injury. 

I'd just think with a lesion like this that's growing so quickly the usual thing is to just take a biopsy then and there.

He's told me he'd remove a problematic mole for me if I had one... and... nothing?

I don't want to sit with it! *throws self on the floor all dramatic like a toddler and kicks and screams* (<- I'm trying to be funny, but my sense of humor is terrible). It's getting sore (probably because it's just so big) and I'm having a hard time ignoring it. 😞

[Zazz 20]

I suppose the bright side is that I didn't walk out of there feeling like a complete moron... and I have therapy tomorrow so I can just... vent like a mad person. *Shrugs*

[Jennifer1 8]

I figured your dr would send you to the dermatologist, I just don't get why you didn't go there first. Less waiting is always better 

[Zazz 20]

13 minutes ago, Jennifer1 said:

I figured your dr would send you to the dermatologist, I just don't get why you didn't go there first. Less waiting is always better 

I have to have my PCP refer me for my insurance to cover it since I've already seen the derm in the last 12 months.

[Jennifer1 8]

4 minutes ago, Zazz said:

I have to have my PCP refer me for my insurance to cover it since I've already seen the derm in the last 12 months.

I'm sorry I didn't know. 😞 i just want you to have answers so you can rest your mind.

[Zazz 20]

5 minutes ago, Jennifer1 said:

I'm sorry I didn't know. 😞 i just want you to have answers so you can rest your mind.

It isn't your fault, so there's no need to apologize.

And I would like that as well. I'm exhausted.

[Zazz 20]

Thanks for kinda going through this with me. I probably shouldn't have roped you all into it too.

[Jennifer1 8]

1 hour ago, Zazz said:

Thanks for kinda going through this with me. I probably shouldn't have roped you all into it too.

Does it help you to be able to come here?  If yes.. please keep posting, support is a 2 way street. 

When worried I tend to clam up, it took me a long time to be able to post about my son. Even though I tend to pull inward, it helps me to read other's worries because it makes me realize I'm not alone. Kind of twisted but it's how my brain works. 

Please let us know when your dermatologist apt is. 🙂

[Zazz 20]

On 1/28/2020 at 6:06 PM, Jennifer1 said:

Does it help you to be able to come here?  If yes.. please keep posting, support is a 2 way street. 

When worried I tend to clam up, it took me a long time to be able to post about my son. Even though I tend to pull inward, it helps me to read other's worries because it makes me realize I'm not alone. Kind of twisted but it's how my brain works. 

Please let us know when your dermatologist apt is. 🙂

Thank you so much for being so kind. I'll let you know as soon as I know. Nothing so far, I'll call tomorrow and see what they say. Fingers crossed it's sooner rather than later

---------

Update (added as edit to not bump the thread unless someone wants to talk to me?):

Derm still wants me to come in. I sent a message over the patient portal.

I messed with it a little and injured it (which was way easier than I expected but clearly the skin had stretched so much that it was fragile) and it bled and deflated. That's gotta be a hemangioma... as they can very much do that... pretty sure melanoma doesn't.

Sorry for everything.