Every doctor dismisses me

[Hello 0]

Hi everyone,

 

I've been battling a sleeping disorder my entire life, upon visiting doctors I basically got 5 different, "just turn off all the lights and tv and everything and you'll be fine."

 

I find that no matter what time I wake up, and no matter how tired I feel during the day, the second the moon comes up there's not a drop of sleepiness left in me. I can feel energy pulsating through me like a strobe light, and it does not stop until the sun comes back up.

 

As a baby, as far back as pre-school and even before then according to my mother, I never wanted to sleep. Back then she always figured I just didn't want to miss a moment of the action. But I never grew out of the habit.

 

I would attribute a large factor being growing up with stress. My mother was physically abusive, most often when things weren't going well for her at work, I would find myself being screamed at and beaten day in and day out. The night time became my only peace from a controlling mother. When she was sleeping, I was free to be myself, with nobody to bother me. Throughout life, I've seeked the solitude the night offers me, solving and meditating on my deepest problems in the still of the night.

 

As I've grown older, I find that I'm nearly incapable of maintaining a solid sleep schedule. I have a dependency on sleeping pills to make it to appointments, or to get a full nights sleep for work. I feel extremely unhealthy relying on pills to fall asleep. Often times I will have to nearly overdose myself on pills just to fall asleep, and other times even that isn't enough to tranquilize the energy I get when the night rolls in. I have found that smoking cannabis works miracles for me, however it's illegal and expensive.

 

Everyone just thinks I'm lazy and unmotivated, and I always screw up when it comes to anything that requires me to be on a schedule. (school / work)

I'm trying to get into college to better myself, and I'm scheduled to take the SAT's. I'm scared that I will put all my effort into getting to college only to fail because I couldn't get my sleeping under control.

 

 

 

 

[Gilly 1086]

Hi again Elijah, I just responded to your introduction post. I feel I can relate to you in some ways. Even though I have no real problems sleeping the night has become a safe time for me and I stay awake until 4am often, then sleep until 10 or 11 am. This is because I have developed this schedule and I find it hard to change. When I was younger I was sick (I have crohns disease, diagnosed when I was 12) I would stay up all night and sleep during the day. I'm not sure why but night time just felt safe, there is no doctor appointments in the middle of the night, no people coming to the house, no school I was missing. This has continued through my life, now I am a carer for my mum who is paralysed, during the daytime I am on call, at night when she is sleeping is 'my time' I can relax, but I wake up just about the time I should be going to bed. I think our bodies time clock gets messed up. I have tried cannabis too, and it does help yeah, but like you say it's illegal so I don't anymore. I want to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and wake up when the birds do but I know it is going to take some discipline for me to change my routine, and I am comfortable with my routine for the most part and like I said I do sleep when I go to bed, I can't imagine how it would be if I didn't. 

 

You have gotten into this routine through self preservation, a coping mechanism to make you feel safe. It's become your bodies habit, but it can be changed just it isn't going to be easy, I'm so sorry. Have you tried eliminating caffeine and all stimulants? Trying an evening relaxation schedule to wind you mind down? Lavender oil in a warm bath, 2 cups of chamomile tea before bed, yoga, anything like that? What about a sleep study? 

[Hello 0]

I'll look into relaxation techniques, or exercises, that could help.  I've tried exercising myself to exhaustion, but for some reason no matter how exhausted I am, or how long I've been awake once it turns nighttime I feel 100% charged. I never thought to exercise my mind so to speak, I'll try it out.

 

As for sleep study, I never heard about that until now. Lol, maybe when obamacare starts I'll be able to go back to the doctor and ask about it. From what I understand it sounds like I'm just going to be bored out of my mind in a doctor room for the whole night

 

Thanks

[Gilly 1086]

Yes the mind, the subconscious thinks its wakey wakey time, it becomes a habit. You have to convince it that it's time to sleep by introducing a new pattern, the mind knows when you lay down it's time for rest, some advise to go to bed at the same time every night and even if you don't sleep lay there night after night until you do sleep. I guess it's trial and error and see what works for you but I know myself no matter how tired my body is if I cannot turn off my brain I won't sleep.