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Chriss

Ocular Migraines. Why can't I let this go?

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Hi. (I'm sorry this is so long!) I posted in April about ocular migraines and you all helped and I let go of the fear. Thank you for that. In August and September I had a total of six ocular migraines. I usually have 2-3 a year. I got a full eye exam with dilation a couple of weeks ago. Everything was fine. I talked to the eye doctor about the ocular migraines and he shrugged his shoulders and basically said...they happen. Emailed with my primary medical doctor...he wasn't concerned. Normally this would be enough and I would lose my fear. Not this time.

I will say that this has been an epic year for anxiety. My sister was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer last November...I have been worried sick about her all year. (She is doing well, thank goodness!) I'm also selling my house and having a house built...that has been ongoing. My dog got diagnosed with cancer in March and had major surgery...she's doing well now. My sleep has been very broken up due to lack of caregivers for my adult son...he is developmentally disabled...I'm his primary caregiver, but have someone who was supposed to come in 32 hours a week...But in August she took off 15 days...And in September she averaged bout 16 hours a week. So I'm very tired. And this was all on top of my regular daily anxiety and health anxiety. 

With this in mind, it makes sense that the added and continual stress and anxiety caused the added ocular migraines. I have made some changes in the last couple of weeks to try and help myself. Staying hydrated. Removed foods with additives and preservatives from my diet. Trying to sleep more. Changed my tablets to the blue shade mode. Therapy. Exercise. My regular anxiety level seems much lower. I don't feel the constant adrenaline, pounding heart etc. happening anymore. I haven't had an ocular migraine in eight days...knock on wood. 

A little earlier today I had a blip in my eye for about one second...I thought I was going to get an ocular migraine. I didn't. But I can feel the fear starting to creep in. Not severely, but enough to put a damper on my mood. You know what I mean?

Why can't I just accept that the ocular migraines may happen and not fear them? I've been getting them for almost twenty years...just never this many. 

Thank you for reading this ridiculously long post!

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I'm sorry you're dealing with this.. I've researched ocular migraines a bit because I get a weird eye thing.. i'm still not sure what it is actually. But! I know they say ocular migraines can be brought on my stress and anxiety, and it sounds like you have a lot going on. I think if you can find some ways to relax, you'll get them less.

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I hate those things. I’ve had three in my life and I don’t ever want another. They completely freak me out. First time it happened I lost vision from the sides and I thought I was having a stoke. Dr told me that being on birth control is probably what caused it. The second and third were more like a strobing effect in the sides of my vision. Scary stuff but they always go away within 10 minutes or so. 

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I have ocular migraines and I can tell you that there are also miniature ones that cause little blips and things in vision without a full on episode, not all being pain or color storms, and sometimes your eyes just do odd things. Especially if you are tired and not getting enough sleep they do. I assure you this is nothing to be concerned about. I am so sorry you are going through all of this, though 😞 

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You have gone though a lot this past year and while one might move past them, the psychological and emotional trauma lingers on. I'm sure it adds to the stress of your daily life as a caregiver and makes you that more prone to anxiety. I don't know if you've considered therapy or if that is an option for you, but I would strongly suggest it. I have migraines and when I'm anxious or stressed, they double in intensity and frequency. After losing my uncle and father to Cancer in the span of a year, I went through a really bad bout of health anxiety in late 2017. Thankfully, I was able to get out from that rabbit hole, but I still struggle with HA. I think we often underestimate just how long our psyche might need in order to recover from emotional trauma.  

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