Leaving a marriage and vague HA

[enidoreilley 83]

I am in the process of probably separating from my husband. There are 12 million things about this that are stressful but the thing that keeps hitting me and making me second guess everything is what would happen if I were to get a serious illness in the next couple years? I'm so afraid of facing an illness all alone. Has anyone else faced these fears? 

[Bobnnat 493]

Hi Enid,

I hear you. My 1st marriage was entered into when I was 22 and for the wrong reasons. It became obvious i needed to get out, but being alone was scary, since i went from my parents home to the marriage home with no time to try to manage myself alone. I waited and finally as luck would have it, I met the woman who would end up being my 2nd wife. Once I was convinced she was for real, I separated from my wife.

I honestly don't think i could have separated/divorced if I didn't have someone else, largely as you say, to be with me "through thick and thin". I wish I could give you encouragement, but I feel and felt similarly to you. At some point I guess you have to weigh the choices and take the path of least harm.

Bob

[MobileChucko 23]

Hello Enid...  I remember reading an article many years ago, about the importance of living alone, once a person reaches adulthood.  It said that everyone should live alone for a minimum of six months to a year, to ingrain many characteristics, the most important being who you are and what strengths grow out of that time.  Through my life, I have done that on a number of occasions.  It wasn't always the easiest thing to do, but I can tell you that I did a lot a growing, and it also taught me what I would put up with in a relationship, and what I wouldn't.  I have known a number of people that needed another relationship on the string, before they fully let go of their current one.  My ex-wife falls into that category.  I think you might be amazed how supportive the world can be, if you give it a chance, and God falls into that support as well, if that is a path you believe in.  The very best to you, Enid!...  Chuck🐈

[MARC 416]

Being married does not necessarily mean committment. Many years ago when I was in my 20's, I dated a girl who took care of disabled people. I remember talking to a woman who was being cared for by this girl. The woman told me she had MS and when her husband knew of the diagnosis, he left her. 

[enidoreilley 83]

Thanks everyone. I have never lived on my own. I was living with another boyfriend when I met my husband and I was 20 years old. I moved in with my now-husband almost immediately and we've been together for 16 years. This is incredibly scary and I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this.