Colon cancer fear again.

[garypayton 14]

Hi guys, 

 

I've already told my story, but I can't find peace.
It all started while I was in South America for work, I started to have abdominal bloating, small pains, and since I am a hypochondriac, it was enough to make me think of colon cancer. Back in Italy the abdominal swelling disappeared, but I still went to pay a visit to the gastroenterologist, who gave me a bowel ultrasound, search my abdomen for eventual masses, did an abdominal echo. everything turned out normal and the doctor told me not to worry. But I now control my stools every day. I became obsessed with their consistency, I always go twice a day, at the same times. My fears, however, are related to the consistency of my feces, which varies from number 4 to 6 on the Bristol scale. Almost always in the morning I have very creamy stools, which then improve in the afternoon and are a little more formed. I never saw blood in my stool, my bowel movement did not increase, I did not lose weight and I did a test for anemia, negative. Yet every time I have creamy stools I panic.

I can say i felt better for some days, then something trigger my anxiety back, i start reading the stories of colon cancer survivors, and i start to think again "i am sure i have it too".
As always, what triggers my fear is the stool appereance and consistency. I still go twice a day, and again, in the morning the stool is 8 of 10 times mushy. I started again eating long leaves vegtables two nights ago, rocket salad (arugula) especially. Yesterday in the afternoon i did good with well formed stool, perfect brown color, and i thought "WOW, maybe i just needed more of these vegtables". So in the night i ate more, and this morning i had an horrible looking mushy stool, a small quantity, greeny (i guess from the vegtables), with some gases, and that just was sufficient to make me feel horrible again, i started to think that something must be wrong, that i cannot have my stool changing so much without having something serious. And then...Dr Google did his job.

It's so hard. I think i may ask for a colonscopy to the gastroenterologist that saw me, but he was the one saying i don't need one.

Sometimes a voice rationally tries to speak to me, asking me "do you really have any bowel cancer symptoms?" . I have no blood in the stools, i did a quick anemy test (the home made kits you buy online) one month ago and came back negative, no weight lost.

Do i have what may be called "change in bowel movements"? From what i read, a change is really going more, or going less, and i go like always, twice a day, morning and afternoon. Yes, my stool has been varying from 4 to 6 in the bristol scale, but as a doctor told me "unformed stool are not pathological", and also i must say, maybe i've always gone like that and didn't notice, didn't pay attention to it (i remember always going soft more than hard in my life). And sure, cancer does not show many signs, but if one that way, then i could be having in this moment brain cancer, lung cancer etc.

My mind is exploding. I live waiting for the next bowel movement to feel better or worse. I don't want to live like that, i can't even work.

 

Any help would be appreciated, thanks

[Ms.Honey 12]

I’m sorry you’re going through this!

I just got over a major colon cancer fear recently. I really honestly think you don’t need to worry about it. You don’t have the symptoms, and dr. is telling you you don’t need further testing. These are good things. 

A family member of mine had it. He was having bowel movements 15-20 times a day. There was bleeding. It didn’t get better and worse, it just got worse. Even then, it was only stage one, he had an operation and has been fine ever since (15 years)

 

When I was deep in my colon cancer fear “episode”.. (it lasted about a year, until I had a cat scan) It seemed like everywhere I looked, I’d see all these awful stories of people, young people, etc.. but I don’t think it was anymore than usual, it’s just that I was so hyper focused, they all seemed like signs I must be dying of it.

My new thing is not looking at what comes out of me in the toilet. It’s hard, but you can’t do it. Just flush! Don’t look! Until you’re not afraid anymore anyway.

[AndrewF 37]

Speaking as a person who does in fact get screening colonoscopies starting at 33 due to a loose family history, and has not had an actual polyp removed yet....

If you're using terms like "Bristol scale" then you are definitely obsessing.  I pulled that crap (pun intended) on my GI once and he basically had never heard of the the "bristol scale."  He has scoped my stomach twice for things that turned out to be nothing, 

If you're over 45, get a colonosopy anyway, since that is the new guideline for screening.  But there's nothing here that sounds like your doctor is wrong, that it is anxiety-induced jumpy gut that is in a feedback loop of stress.  

[Alex 8]

Anxiety definitely can affect your digestive system. I had really bad acid reflux for instance and my best friend, who is anxious as well every now and then gets symptoms of Ibs. 

Try to trust in your doctors! 

[garypayton 14]

Hi guys, thanks for your words.

My main problems are in the morning, and the thing that it looks like my bowel is a lot more sensitive to junk food now. I mean i literally cannot eat junk food or i will have really soft (mild diarrhea) stool in the morning. Yesterday in the afternoon i ate 2 chinese spring rolls in the afternoon and here i am, the same problem.

Would it be my age? maybe i'm just more sensitive to some kind of foods?

Another thing i want to ask you (if any here had colon cancer fears and did some researches), is the BOWEL ULTRASOUND a valuable exam? I read different things online, they even did a study and realized that if well done it can see cancers, polyps and obstructions of the bowel

[garypayton 14]

I have been convincing myself that i am perfectly fine, my stool has been more or less normal. 
But i guess that i am unlucky and when i find peace of mind something happens to scare me again.

Just half an hour ago, when i was going to sleep, i had to go to the bathroom. A normal poop, but the strange thing i already did 2 times today. It happened to me in the past to go 3 times, but it has been a long time i didn't go 3 times.

So now you will say "it's not a big thing". But as an hypocondriac i'm already thinking the worst :

- tomorrow i will go 3 times again 
_ it will mean i had a change in bowel movements and something is wrong with me
_ i will wake up and i won't go to the bathroom and my bowel movement times will change.

I'm trying to think what made me go 3 tmes today, maybe some boiled vegetables i ate for dinner made me go, since i don't eat boiled vegetables normally.

Well, tomorrow will be a full day waiting and thinking about bowel movements !

i thought i was gettin out of it...

[AndrewF 37]

13 hours ago, garypayton said:

I have been convincing myself that i am perfectly fine, my stool has been more or less normal. 
But i guess that i am unlucky and when i find peace of mind something happens to scare me again.

Just half an hour ago, when i was going to sleep, i had to go to the bathroom. A normal poop, but the strange thing i already did 2 times today. It happened to me in the past to go 3 times, but it has been a long time i didn't go 3 times.

So now you will say "it's not a big thing". But as an hypocondriac i'm already thinking the worst :

- tomorrow i will go 3 times again 
_ it will mean i had a change in bowel movements and something is wrong with me
_ i will wake up and i won't go to the bathroom and my bowel movement times will change.

I'm trying to think what made me go 3 tmes today, maybe some boiled vegetables i ate for dinner made me go, since i don't eat boiled vegetables normally.

Well, tomorrow will be a full day waiting and thinking about bowel movements !

i thought i was gettin out of it...

Listen up, I've been right where you are now.  You sound like you're stuck in a cycle of rumination and stress.  If you have been to your doctor for a physical exam, and done any follow up tests s/he wanted, you need to let it go.  That's what you need to do, but I understand its not trivial.

You may want to talk to your doc about a low-dose anti-anxiety med if this goes on and is interfering with your life.  This is a conversation to be had between you and your doctor.  But that alone won't fix all your issues.  You need to keep yourself busy living, and let your body settle down some.  And stop looking at your stool!

[garypayton 14]

On 6/18/2019 at 6:13 AM, AndrewF said:

Listen up, I've been right where you are now.  You sound like you're stuck in a cycle of rumination and stress.  If you have been to your doctor for a physical exam, and done any follow up tests s/he wanted, you need to let it go.  That's what you need to do, but I understand its not trivial.

You may want to talk to your doc about a low-dose anti-anxiety med if this goes on and is interfering with your life.  This is a conversation to be had between you and your doctor.  But that alone won't fix all your issues.  You need to keep yourself busy living, and let your body settle down some.  And stop looking at your stool!

Hi AndrewF,

 

thanks,  i undertstand what you try to tell me. I can assure you i've been a lot better lately. Yes, i still can't stop thinking about my colon, on how it will react if i eat that food or that one, but i was more relaxed.

When i wrote the last post, it was that i ate kiwies in the morning, and it looks like they made me go more to the bathroom only that day.

The problem is, as i said before, whenever some episode happens, i start to get worried again.

For example, today i had a mild diarreha unexpected run after lunch and did a lot,  litterally a lot. It happened before to me but it's really really rare and there is always an explanation (once happend because of a protein shake,  another time was because of 8-10 candies i ate right after lunch). So again i'm here doing researches on what caused me this effect. I've noticed celery makes me bloating, and for lunch i had rice with vegetables including celery, carrots and zucchini. Could it be that just a little bit of celery made me go to the bathroom causing a laxative effect?

 

[Iugrad91 501]

I suggest you stop researching because it will only cause more anxiety. If you think you find an answer as to what caused your issue but then it happens again and you didn’t eat/do what caused it the first time then you want to research more to find a reason. The truth is sometimes digestive issues happen for reasons you will not be able to pinpoint. You will create a cycle of worry/seeking reassurance if you’re always looking for an answer. Digestion changes all the time depending on food, drink, exercise, stress, etc...

[garypayton 14]

10 hours ago, Iugrad91 said:

I suggest you stop researching because it will only cause more anxiety. If you think you find an answer as to what caused your issue but then it happens again and you didn’t eat/do what caused it the first time then you want to research more to find a reason. The truth is sometimes digestive issues happen for reasons you will not be able to pinpoint. You will create a cycle of worry/seeking reassurance if you’re always looking for an answer. Digestion changes all the time depending on food, drink, exercise, stress, etc...

I understand what you mean. But as you can imagine, to my mind : NO ANSWER = COLON CANCER

[Iugrad91 501]

No offense but having mushy stools  is not a symptom of colon cancer. It sounds more like IBS or just plain anxiety, which does mess with digestion.

[garypayton 14]

 

Hi guys, let me tell you the latest news. For two days I have had two bad episodes of steatorrhea: pasty stools, with a terrible smell and clear color. I was terrified because yesterday I also felt a pain under the sternum and I thought it might be the pancreas. I went to the emergency room, where after hours of waiting they did blood tests with various values of liver and pancreas. Everything turned out to be normal, apart from the gilbert syndrome that I have always had and that slightly changes my bilirubin values. I only have creatinine (1.26) which is slightly high, probably due to the fact that I work out in the gym and it is very hot these days and I drink very little water. The doctor told me to drink a lot and check it again in a month. Today they then gave me another abdominal ultrasound where everything turned out to be normal. As an anxious person, the fact that there are no signs worries me even more because I cannot understand the cause of steatorrhea. Last night I ate meat and green salad (very rarely I eat green salad, i usually eat carrots and fennels) and this morning I had normal feces, immediately followed by a discharge of green diarrhea (which at first seemed black to me, making me dying of fear for a second) with whole pieces of salad. I'm going crazy guys, I don't know what to think anymore. If anyone has had similar experiences, I would appreciate your opinion.

[MARC 431]

Some symptoms have no explanation. My friend urinated bright red blood for weeks and had every test in the book done and nothing was ever found. Eventually it stopped on it's own. My father (may he rest in peace) used to get positive occult stool tests for blood and no cause was ever found. The doctor said he must have a slow leak somewhere and we just can't find it. He lived to 93. 

[garypayton 14]

9 hours ago, MARC said:

Some symptoms have no explanation. My friend urinated bright red blood for weeks and had every test in the book done and nothing was ever found. Eventually it stopped on it's own. My father (may he rest in peace) used to get positive occult stool tests for blood and no cause was ever found. The doctor said he must have a slow leak somewhere and we just can't find it. He lived to 93. 

thanks for your time, a prayer for your dad.

Yes, i've read dozens of stories of people having blood in stools that have a completely clear colonscopy. I hope these symptoms will just go away as soon as possible for my mental sanity.

[MARC 431]

When I was 25, which was quite a while ago, I went to the bathroom and the whole toilet was filled with bright red blood and when I wiped, the tissue was covered with blood. I had an immediate meltdown and had myself dead and buried. It was just a large hemorrhoid. I hope you feel better soon. 

[garypayton 14]

I've been trying to figure it out, i think it could have been some mass gain powder that i left on the sun (in these days here we reached 39 celsius) because i remember right after i drank the shake i felt strange in the bowel. The next day i had the first episode and the next day the last one. 

I lost a couple of pounds too, i guess it must be a mixture from anxiety and eating a little bit different. I hope is just that