Feeling lost, hopeless, unlovable

[andtonyatoo 0]

I can't shake it. This crippling anxiety and fear of not being good enough, of failing. Feeling like people don't choose to be around me but are instead stuck with me. This obsessive thought that my kids would be better off without me. That I'm constantly failing them and they would be better off with their dad and his girlfriend than with me. I'm not special or desirable or do anything that makes me worth being here.

[jonathan123 2368]

Hi. There and welcome to AC. .

So your kids would be better off without you! Would they? How do you know that? Would you deliberately want anyone to suffer pain because of your actions? Your self esteem is very low and with it goes a sense of unworthiness. But you are not.  Everyone, even the meanest of the meanest deserves to be treated fairly and with understanding. I, for one, know how you feel and have been there. I thought no one understood how I felt or wanted to be near me until I came on here. Anxiety can hit hard, especially if you have been reasonably happy before its onset. The world seems to go dark. People around you no longer seem to respond in the way they did, but we must be careful. It could be us giving off the wrong feelings to which they recoil. Not many understand and so say things that may sound hurtful. Do you think your kids would be better off without you because of something that has been said? YOU are not special! No? Where else is there another YOU? Out of the millions of the earth's population there's not another YOU anywhere. So can you see YOU ARE special! We can feel so isolated and lonely with anxiety even among friends or close relatives. But you are not alone because the kind folk on here know how you feel so don't hesitate to come back if you want.