HA making me crazy!

[Nat1996 23]

I’m new to the forums and I’ve suffered with health anxiety ever since I was a young kid but things have been out of control lately! I hadn’t had a bad panic attack for over a year until right before Christmas 2018 I experienced full blown panic in the middle of the night. Ever since then I’ve been struggling with panic attacks multiple times a day as well as a severe bout of depression.

I went on medication for the first time at the beginning of January because I couldn’t handle it & although the panic attacks have calmed down I’m not enjoying how any of the meds make me feel! 

Now, before I experienced the first attack in December I noticed a pain in my lower calf/above Achilles’ tendon and immediately thought “blood clot, obviously, I’m going to die.” Ever since then the pain has gotten much worse but it travels to different parts of my leg. I’ve had it looked at, had blood work done and an ultrasound to rule out clots and they said everything looked great, this was in the beginning of February. I CANNOT convince myself that they’re right. I’ve been doing physio hoping it’s a muscle/tendon related issue but since it keeps moving around to different locations she isn’t 100% what’s causing my pain yet. She’s thinking maybe a nerve problem but we’re ruling other things out first. 

On top of the pain in my leg that’s been persistent for months now I’ve also developed what feels like weakness in my left arm and leg. They both feel like they get tired easily and my whole body has been experiencing twitching/jerking. 

Im TERRIFIED and I feel like my doctor isn’t taking me seriously because she chalks everything up to anxiety (of course.) I’m convinced I have a DVT that’s going to cause Pulmonary Embolism and a brain tumour that’s causing my body to fail. Reading lots of posts on here made me feel slightly better about ALS but if it’s not a tumour maybe it’s MS??

I have no idea what it will take to ease my mind at this point as I’ve already had multiple doctors tell me I don’t have DVT and the odds that I have a brain tumour are slim seeing as how this all started after the anxiety. Why don’t they think it could be something physical that CAUSED the anxiety!? I’m so tired of all of this and can hardly hang on some days. Sorry for ranting I guess maybe just looking for some reassurance before I drive myself completely crazy!!