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  1. Curious if anyone has ever tried meditation? Before I was put on Zoloft I had tried it but good grief there was so many things on my mind I couldnt sit still long enough to focus and when I would I would be so stiff sitting (Indian style) that I could barely get up. I mean it would hurt badly trying to unfold my legs... LOL . So now after learning things about whats going on and all these conspiracy theories about how the world is going to end and blah blah. at first seeing all this fear really scared me and I was panicking for a week straight. and then I started learning more and looking within myself and it totally calmed me right down. I am not going to lie, I have been deathly afraid of dying. I dont know why but now...I dont let it bother me because I know whats really going on. Just curious if anyone else has tried it and how and if it works or doesnt work for them. Thanks for reading I love this forum and everyone here!
  2. Someone once said to me that my anxiety is basically me masking over my anger. I didn't listen at the time because I didn't feel anger towards anyone... I was just nervous... but it's got me thinking recently. Some days I feel like I have two modes (I'm reluctant to use the word personalities). One mode is assertive, honest and outgoing and the other mode is quiet, nervous and suppressed. On the good days I'm kind and understanding of friends, family and even strangers. I'm good fun to talk to and i'm not afraid of sharing my thoughts... on the bad days I cut myself off from everyone. I don't want to talk to people, I struggle with eye contact and to be honest, I'd rather not leave my bedroom (but i always do!). Why the switch? I have no control over this and generally speaking it's a snowball effect. If I have a bad day, the chances are tomorrow will be the same. If I have a good day I'm worried it won't last. It's been worse recently and I can't figure out what the hell has caused it to go downhill. I do feel like I have a lot of anger towards people at times when they upset me and I am sorting through a lot of problems at the moment... perhaps I feel more nervous and suppressed because people seem to be pissing me off more than usual. I don't want to be the nervous quiet guy anymore. If it's anger, how do I get it out without doing any damage...