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About Maria1870

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  1. I posted a while back about some dumb mole on my back I was having a panic attack over....anyway I went and had it checked, the Dr looked with his dermoscope and said nothing needed to be done and all my moles looked fine. So why can't I stop thinking about it 😭 2 doctors, my gp and the dermatologist told me it was fine. Even a few online doctors told me it didn't look suspicious but I still find myself checking it all the time just to be 100% it didn't change from one day to the next. My dermatologist has been in practice for over 40 years, he has to know what he's talking about right?
  2. I hope to be where you are soon! I also have been having anxiety about a mole all thanks to Google! I try not to and then a thought will pop in my head and I'm like hmmm let's google that, and I'll be on my phone googling for hours. I've even gone as far as downloading melanoma apps and checking my mole. My Dr prescribed me anxiety pills for this reason but I don't usually take them cause they knock me out and I have 2 kids to care for. You should feel very proud that you took a step at overcoming you're anxiety, I can only hope to take the same step soon. ❤️
  3. I know this is old but did you ever find out what it was
  4. Thank you! I hate Google. I've become so obsessed with skin. I literally look at everyone's moles, I see these girls in the pool at my appointment almost everyday sun bathing and I'm like "what's wrong with you!!!" Even if this mole turns out to be perfectly fine (and I'm praying really hard it does) I would love for my dermatologist to cut the stupid thing right off so I never have to see it again.
  5. Yes I've already made an appointment with a dermatologist, even though gp said it looks fine I cant stop thinking about it. I'm scared.
  6. Do moles have pores? I know I have some pretty big pores in my back... Maybe that's what I'm seeing? 😭
  7. It's those 2 dots in the middle of it that are scaring the hell out of me. I'm Hispanic and I know melanoma is pretty rare in us. But I can't stop thinking. Even when I try to put it in the back of my mind and tell myself it's just my anxiety I always end up googling and scaring myself. I have kids 11 and 5 and my biggest fear is leaving them. I'm so scared I'm making myself sick.
  8. My anxiety is through the roof. Like can't eat can't sleep feeling nauseous about to throw up. I've had this mole for 2 years, tried removing it myself when I first noticed it (cause I'm dumb) anyway it scabbed and grew back. I left it alone until June 2019 I scratched my back and knicked it. It bled scabbed and returned to the way in normally looked, maybe a little darker. I went to a gp, he looked at it and said it was small and melanoma usually have very sharp edges and mine didn't look too sharp and he thinks it looks fine and the darker pigment is probably because I scratched it off. It doesn't look to have grown, doesn't itch hurt bleed or bother me in anyway other than it's existence. I should also mention that I rub it constantly to see if I feel any pain. Today I looked and it seems to have two little spots in it. I'm out of my mind. Can't stop crying. I have 2 kids I need to be strong for.
  9. That's exactly what I'm doing, dissecting every word he said. Like "maybe he said this cause he knows I was having a panic attack and he just wanted me to calm down" I've noticed I do this alot though, not just with the Dr but with almost everyone I talk to, I pay attention to their tone, I need constant reassurance or I go crazy thinking. My main problem is I Google everything, and Google sucks. It's all worse case scenario. I just want to be myself again.
  10. Anxiety is taking over me again. Despite going to the Dr with a panic attack over a mole and despite having him tell me it looks fine and all I still can't stop obsessing. I've been taking the hydroxyzine he prescribed me for anxiety, and doing puzzles, games, watching shows trying to keep my mind occupied I still find my mind going crazy, analyzing every detail from my Dr visit.
  11. Thanks that makes me feel better. For the past 2-3 weeks I've been googling like crazy and scaring myself. Today I've been trying to stay busy and keep myself from overthink and googling stuff that I know is just going to end up scaring me. This forum helps alot.
  12. My kids have a million fidget spinners laying around here somewhere... I've also just bought Natures Bouty Stress and Anxiety pills. Something has to work and make me normal again. I'm trying to keep my mind occupied. I'm a stay at home mom and both my kids are starting school soon. My oldest starting middle school and my youngest starting school for the first time ever! Ugh that's just adding to my anxiety and stress, my mom also thinks that's what's making me feel depressed. Idk right now I just feel so hopeless. I think anxiety might run in my family, I know my mom has called me mid anxiety attack a few times and I thought she was being crazy... Now look at me, calling my mom mid anxiety attack 🤦🏻‍♀️
  13. I read something that says 96% of what we worry about never happens. I try to keep that in mind and repeat it to myself multiple times a day, and I think about all the things I worried about in the past and none of them happened. I look forward to this all passing and me feeling silly that I spent to much time worrying in the first place.
  14. I had a anxiety attack Friday afternoon about a mole on my back I've had for 2 years. Crying so hard I gave myself a headache, lost weight cause I couldn't eat.... Anyway I went to an ExpressMed clinic in my area and talked to the Dr about what was causing my anxiety. He checked my mole and told me it looks normal and pretty small and not to worry but gave me a referral to a dermatologist for "peace of mind" but said he didn't see a reason to worry. I asked him over and over if it looked dangerous and he assured me it didn't.... So why am I still obsessing over it? I'm staying away from Dr Google but still in my head I keep thinking about it, I'm cooking, eating, washing dishes, spending time with family, doing puzzles, playing games and still it's in the back of my mind. The Dr prescribed me Hydroxyzine and diagnosed me with GAD and Depression... Hydroxyzine seems to help but ONLY because it puts me straight to sleep, then I wake up and BOOM ANXIETY CENTRAL!!!! Why can't I just be normal? 😔