So as a kid I was very "rambunctious", they said. Had an energy that I could barely control. As I got older, I always had to be the class clown. It was not something I planned It just happened. I would get so mad I would hyperventilate. My first anxiety attack was at 20. I was given Ativan and was fine. It took years to have another one but I was always the talkative one, the jokester. I would realize that I was talking a lot but couldn't seem to control it. I started having more anxiety attacks as I got older. A couple a year I guess. They started making me go to the E.R. due to the heart attack like symptoms. I have always been high-strung. An unexpected noise from the other room can make me jump. It drives me nuts that my co-workers do not perform up to any type of standards. Then in January 2016. I was eating dinner and my feet started tingling, my surroundings became almost cartoon like and I suddenly felt that I was floating away. I started to have adrenaline rushes. I felt that I was chocking but knew I wasn't. I was having trouble swallowing. Then the heart attack symptoms started. I told my wife I was dying and was telling her what she would need to do after I die. I was taken to the E.R and told it was just anxiety. I spent the next few days scared to death that I would have another one but at the same time had this overwhelming feeling that I was just like a second from having one. I seen my Doctor a few days later and was diagnosed as General anxiety disorder. smaller ones continued until the fall when my meds were just right. My mom got sick and here the came again. Never another huge on just small stuff. Now I still have trouble swallowing 5 times a week or so. I sweat sometimes uncontrollably. One night I was so upset mu tongue formed a yellow covering on it and I had to wash my tongue twice to get rid of it and I was also very thirsty for about 3 months afterward. I also had to have a drink with me at all times for about 8 months after the tongue incident because I would feel like I was choking when not eating or anything and only a drink would make the feeling go away. It's hard to talk to people about it. Only a few know. I feel like I have a monster inside of me sometimes. My wife is great about helping when one comes. I recently read that people with these issues often have mental illnesses when they get older. That makes me sad. So that is my story. It rambles but would you expect any less?
P.S. I see myself in my son and I feel so bad that I may have given him what I have.