icemanx3

The therapist thing is a joke where I live. Plus maybe I try to make sure everyone else is better and ok before myself. I had an appointment but their office had issues for like 2 months. Plus my mom's appointments, my son's appointments, and work. for a while left no time for me. I not doing bad but I will see someone soon.

I appreciate having somewhere to just tell this. It makes me feel better. I find myself checking constantly if anyone has commented on my posts. I have held this in for so long......

I take vacations and worry the whole time that I am not home doing what needs done. Hopefully there is peace for all of us one day.

I have read these and I have experienced so many of these things. Some still today. I hate to be made a fool of or embarrassed. It throws me instantly into the body on fire adrenaline rush. Has anyone ever had the entire body on fire (adrenaline) sensation. I had It a few times but once I swear my mouth was so warm inside and I had a weird taste in my mouth for a few seconds. I started in my feet and went up both legs all the way to the top of my head. It only lasted a few seconds but it was horrible and the next few hours I had the worries. I have had this one while driving. Fun. What about other's shortcomings? Does it drive anyone else nuts when co-workers are not doing anything at all and you are trying your best. I read somewhere that this may be another issue associated with Anxiety. This is really bad some days. This will sound really weird......After the big one I had, it felt like the next one was staring me right in the eyes. I actually would look to one side or the other and not forward because the feeling was so overwhelming. I also would have a heaviness on my chest. In my mind it became a dog that was standing on my chest trying looking me in the eyes to hurt me. That's the only way I could explain to my wife how I was felling.

No I see the anxiety and the stress in my son that I knew I had as a kid. He seen the big one. We don't talk much about it. he is a teenager.

So as a kid I was very "rambunctious", they said. Had an energy that I could barely control. As I got older, I always had to be the class clown. It was not something I planned It just happened. I would get so mad I would hyperventilate. My first anxiety attack was at 20. I was given Ativan and was fine. It took years to have another one but I was always the talkative one, the jokester. I would realize that I was talking a lot but couldn't seem to control it. I started having more anxiety attacks as I got older. A couple a year I guess. They started making me go to the E.R. due to the heart attack like symptoms. I have always been high-strung. An unexpected noise from the other room can make me jump. It drives me nuts that my co-workers do not perform up to any type of standards. Then in January 2016. I was eating dinner and my feet started tingling, my surroundings became almost cartoon like and I suddenly felt that I was floating away. I started to have adrenaline rushes. I felt that I was chocking but knew I wasn't. I was having trouble swallowing. Then the heart attack symptoms started. I told my wife I was dying and was telling her what she would need to do after I die. I was taken to the E.R and told it was just anxiety. I spent the next few days scared to death that I would have another one but at the same time had this overwhelming feeling that I was just like a second from having one. I seen my Doctor a few days later and was diagnosed as General anxiety disorder. smaller ones continued until the fall when my meds were just right. My mom got sick and here the came again. Never another huge on just small stuff. Now I still have trouble swallowing 5 times a week or so. I sweat sometimes uncontrollably. One night I was so upset mu tongue formed a yellow covering on it and I had to wash my tongue twice to get rid of it and I was also very thirsty for about 3 months afterward. I also had to have a drink with me at all times for about 8 months after the tongue incident because I would feel like I was choking when not eating or anything and only a drink would make the feeling go away. It's hard to talk to people about it. Only a few know. I feel like I have a monster inside of me sometimes. My wife is great about helping when one comes. I recently read that people with these issues often have mental illnesses when they get older. That makes me sad. So that is my story. It rambles but would you expect any less? P.S. I see myself in my son and I feel so bad that I may have given him what I have.

Someone new just looking for people who understand.