Soda Stereo

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  1. Yeah, I think my dad is definitely self-centered (for a parent). I mean, he really wasn't in my life that much, and I sometimes stayed at his house on weekends. Now, he needs my step-mom to tell him everything to do (even about me!). I don't understand why such a person ever wants children. He's now much nicer, but still selfish for a father. My mom was always very selfless. She eventually gave up on my anxiety, she couldn't handle it (I don't blame her, but...when I was a teenager, she got angry at me for being very negative, which wasn't helpful).
  2. Hi, I think I mentioned it before, but I'm really frustrated about my parents. My parents (divorced and remarried) know that I have trichotillomania and anxiety but, despite my debts and all of the stress I will go through to pay for them while being busy with my studies, they refuse to let me stay with them. I understand that some of you guys are also from the US and older than me, and probably going to say that I should be able to do it by myself, but remember that these days in the US things are not as easy as they were before. I heard a quote once that said something like 'those who really love you will never give up on you." I think my husband loves me more because despite how difficult it was to live with me, he never gave up, he encouraged me and now I'm better, but still have a way to go before I'm emotionally healthy.
  3. Thanks a lot for sharing. I really felt alone with this problem. Like how can I ever have a healthy work situation if I can't defend myself?! So you helped by answering! I can only think that it has to do with lowering my anxiety with something relaxing, release frustration. I know that confrontation while feeling emotional is very bad.
  4. Hi everyone, I was always told by my last therapist that "confrontation doesn't kill" and that it's more important to confront someone who treats you badly than avoid confronting them. However, I have one very importante issue that I forgot to talk to her about. While I want to confront people for bad treatment, when I do so, I cry! I think most of us know that if you start crying during a confrontation, the other person loses respect in you. They don't take you seriously at all, treat you worse. I am terrified of working at a job in a supermarket, store, etc because where I'm from, some customers (who are feeling bad about themselves!) think that they can say all the nasty things they want because they need to release their anger on someone. Normally the workers are supposed to just accept it, but I would at least like to say something (as respectfully as possible) to let them know that it's NOT ok to be mean to me! Basically, how can I NOT cry if someone says something mean to me? If I cry, I could lose my job and respect from others. What can I do? When I feel like crying, it just comes out, I can't hold back the tears. Does anyone else have this issue? Thanks.
  5. I talked earlier about family help. This time it's about my family. I know that here on the forum we're more likely to think that it's better to be independent (due to culture). However, I'm here in Brazil, and I really need to go back to the US in some months so that my husband can get his visa more easily. The issue is that my parents absolutely will not let me stay with either of them. To live away from my parents, I need to work a lot (I did this for two years). I can only work one or two hours without having anxiety, and while people might say that I should just accept that, my work performance goes down drastically. I get unfocused, I get vertigo, I mess up really easy things and drop things that I normally wouldn't. At my last job I binged on my clients' food (the company paid for the food, but still, not good at all). Also, I did the bare minimum there, which was really just bad in general. Any other job would be worse. I know I should think positive, like, well I can do this yeah! But I already tried that in the past and it didn't help. I try to accept my symptoms, but I don't understand how exactly I do that. I tried thinking "I accept these symptoms" but it didn't help at all. I've gotten fired before because of my performance (due to anxiety). .__. "You're too slow," they told me. My mom said, "you have to work faster." Thanks, Mom >_> Staying with my mom could be difficult anyway, since she thinks I'm just spoiled, since she has stress, why can't I deal with mine like her... My dad has anxiety so he says that it would be "too stressful" for me to stay with him. All I need is to stay with someone until my husband can go to the US. It's just depressing, because my anxiety isn't like, "oh, once I discovered yoga/meditation/etc my life changed for the better." I have no idea where it comes from despite observation and journaling. Thanks for reading, wherever you are : )
  6. @jonathan123 and @JOYCICLE: I'm glad to hear that I'm not manipulative, or being fake-nice. It's true about that it happened in the past and no longer exists. I tend to hold on to these things, while my husband holds no anger whatsoever toward people who have hurt him. So, I'm more upset about things that happened to my husband than he is! And I would like to let these things go.
  7. Thanks a lot for your response, Jon. I'm living in Brazil with my husband. I think what I said about his family was a bit harsh. His mom is really kind to me, hitting kids to punish them was not uncommon, but Jon's mom was at the point of abusive. However, she has stayed a few days with us in our apartment and is kind and polite. So she's not the same person she was. They are friendly people and have invited us over to eat dinner, but it's just that they don't want anyone to talk about their problems, which bothers me, because it makes things feel fake at times. His family is probably a bad example of a Brazilian family. It reminds me of my own culture (except mine is less friendly I think haha). However, Brazilians, like any culture, are not all the same, and for sure there are plenty of families out there that are willing to listen. I think the only thing the a lot of people in Brazil don't want to hear about is about things like anxiety, depression, etc. but this happens and has happened in all countries for sure. Used to be like this in the US.
  8. Sometimes I feel like a fake. I like to be kind with people in person. If I'm depressed or anxious I don't take it out on people I don't know. However, I find that a lot of my anxiety comes from "angry" thoughts about what some people do or say, if I don't agree with it. For example, my Brazilian husband (Jon)'s family has been unhelpful despite the fact that Brazilian culture is much more family interdependent than mine (well he already told me that his family is messed up). It made me so upset thinking about other things he told me--his mother was physically abusive for some years, his uncle refused to let Jon stay with him which would've have been extremely helpful for Jon to have a better school experience, his family hasn't helped him too much, which is really necessary in Brazil. Oh, and NOW they want to help out. It makes me so angry. I think "f*** you" about these people. Jon's going to the US when he gets his visa, which will take a long time, but it would have been nice for him to have the help, um maybe a few years ago... I know the world isn't fair, but his family likes to act friendly and happy even if they're being a**h****. About my anxiety, forget talking about it. Jon told one of his uncles, the one that actually helped him some, about my anxiety. The uncle said, "That's something to keep between you and her." In other words, he doesn't care. I always think I want to say something nasty to them, but when I'm with them in person, I could never say anything bad. I guess I don't want to cut off any possible help. Does that make me manipulative? I know I just like to be nice and I want everyone to like me, but I don't know. My mother always said that I was "passive-aggressive" (like she actually knows much about pyschology). Also, if I have a firm opinion on something and someone says something bad about it, I feel angry later thinking about it, but would never truly say the things I want to say to them. I wish I could at least not feel so upset about these things and forget about them, it's a source of anxiety for me. Thanks for reading.
  9. I know, but I'm convinced sometimes that I'm way worse than others at this.
  10. Does anyone feel this way? I've wasted so much money in my life. Here's a list of what most bothers me: My dog kept chewing on my textbooks from my school and I had to buy new ones. This happened over and over again and I never learned to put the books in a high place. Many books. I had 2 bicycles stolen, both I left unlocked I had to pay $1000 in medical expenses (I'm from the US of course) for something that I realized wasn't even important. This happened because I didn't understand that I was supposed to call the health insurance company to check if they would pay. Such a simple thing. I had about $65 stolen from me here in Brazil because I was careless and let my purse rest behind me while standing on a bus. (I was passing through a crime-ridden neighborhood, never happened in my neighborhood) Half of the shoes I've bought end up hurting my feet, so I can't wear them. I spent a ton of money on hypnotherapy that didn't work. The lady wasn't even a psychologist at least. She did a training, but it's not enough to trust someone, I think. I try not to spend too much for this reason. I guess I'm punishing myself. '--' Thanks for reading.
  11. It's because she said she "purges" so this can be really hard on teeth, the acid from the stomach damages them. I don't know if the teeth would "fall out" but they can be damaged.
  12. This is one of my biggest anxiety sources! It helps knowing that I'm not alone in this, because I never met anyone else who got anxiety from being hungry.
  13. Nausea, vertigo, fatigue, anxiety, and a feeling of not being able to breathe fully are on my list of symptoms too.
  14. Wow, thanks for your reply! I feel better knowing that there are others with my symptoms, especially the belly bloating. I feel less alone. Yes, it is like a small panic attack that doesn't go away.