Struggling with day to day at the moment

[Emma245 28]

Hello everyone,

ive not been on here for a while. I find things trigger me really easily sometimes.

I need some support and don’t know where else to go. Sorry.

My job was put at risk about 5 weeks ago and on the 18th I find out the outcome. I’ve only ever had one job and I’ve been here nearly 16 years. My employer have always been accommodating of my anxiety as the main way it affects my job is that I struggle with transport and so they don’t make me go out and visit clients etc.

I had a migraine yesterday and I just feel so down about it all. If I lose my job I wouldn’t be able to get another one that pays as much as I’d have to go in at a lower grade elsewhere. This would put extra pressure on my partner and I worry about his mental health too. I might get put in another department which would be better than losing my job but it also means new managers and team members and I’m sure you all get how hard that can be if you suffer with anxiety. Going through it all again with a new manager.

ive also got a mole on my leg that has become raised (although I think I’ve caught it shaving rather than it being anything else) but I struggle with health anxiety and that is worrying me.

I have also had bad IBS pains recently. Probably stress related.

I feel very alone at the moment and that I just want to curl up in my bed and stay there under the covers where it’s safe.

I’m finding it hard to concentrate at work at the moment x

[Bterflymom 155]

Sorry you're having so much worry over various things and I think you're overwhelming yourself.  Since you don't know about the job issue yet try not to dwell on it, don't think so negative about it.  You've been there long enough and you do good work so be positive if you can.  You must have a talent of some sort to be able to get another job if need be so try to not think you are the one leaving your present position, you probably won't be losing your job.

I also have health anxiety or should I say doctor and test anxiety.  I get all worked up if I have to get a test and the anxiety hits the roof.  Truth be told things always come out find.  I would have the mole checked so you can get that off your mind, it could be nothing or it could be just a surface issue which I've had myself.  Do your best and if need be get on some medication to carry you through the hard parts of late.  I take anxiety medication and it helps me over the hard times and worry.  You'll be fine, deep breathe, journal your feelings, talk to friends about your concerns.  Hope you get some relief.

[Emma245 28]

Thank you Bterfly for your reply. 

Move known for 5 weeks about my job and I’ve (well I think I have!) done really well at putting it out of my mind because I kept telling myself there’s nothing I could do about it. It’s just as it’s now less than a week away from finding out it’s at the forefront again. Additionally my partner and I both work at the same place so it’s a double worry. He is more senior than me so touch wood I think he will be ok but it’s not set in stone yet ?.

thank you for your words of encouragement.

re the mole, I think I will leave it until the weekend and then go if it is still there. It doesn’t itch or anything and I think I have just aggravated it some how. When I woke up this morning it looked like I had scratched it in the night. Probably because I’m constantly thinking about it-even when I sleep!  But yes if it is still worrying me next week I promise I’ll have it looked at. It only felt raised since Sunday afternoon and not noticed it before (I recently put fake tan on so maybe that has aggravated it).

thank you for taking the time to reply. I think I will do some meditation later and write in my journal!

This morning I felt so alone and tearful. I don’t feel it so much now xxx

[Bterflymom 155]

I suspect the tanning stuff made the mole darker than it was so not to worry.  Sounds like you're feeling better and that's very good, keep up the positive work you're doing.  What will be will be and you can deal with all of that when and if things change for you.  You're not alone, so many millions suffer from depression and anxiety.  For me it's mostly anxiety that gets to me and like I said I take medication for it.  Journal your feelings and then also do a "grateful" list, things you are grateful for.  I do that often too right down to the smallest things in my life that I am grateful for.  Take care. XX

[Emma245 28]

Thank you for your kind words.

I do try to write three nice things that happened to me during the day down each day but that has dwindled recently so I’ll get back to that!

ive also put a plaster over the mole so I can’t see it! Nothing bad will happen for a couple of days so if I can’t see it I figured I wouldn’t worry so much! X