Dying inside

[Vandelsrock21 104]

Hello everyone i am so tired of my life. I am not happy at all. Pretty sure my wife wants to leave me and probably would have already if we didnt have kids. I can put on a good show for my kids and family but i am defiantly not ok. I hide my feelings and thoughts because i dont want them to know what i really am. On the outside i am strong and confident but on the inside i am afraid and doomed. I love my kids and my wife and i dont want my kids to see how afraid i am of living. Sometimes i think it would be best if i was not around. Thanks for listening!

[jonathan123 2368]

Now I know it may not help at all, but I have been where you are and it's bloody painful I know. But I did get help and you MUST! I don't know your situation or if it's possible, but talking to a competent counsellor or therapist could help a lot. You are holding your feelings in and it's about the worse thing you can do. You need to express those feelings. Talk to someone.

On the outside i am strong and confident but on the inside i am afraid and doomed.

Yes you are afraid, which is natural, but doomed. Oh NO!!!! No matter how dim or seemingly so far away there is a light. Difficult to see but it's called hope. Always there. I know, just words and more words. But try and listen. Depression can be devastating, but recovery is possible. Short term medication helps. Have you seen your GP? If not you should. Get as much help as you can. Depression is very common these days and often follows anxiety. I prefer the word 'depletion'. You are depleted of vital energy and your spirits are low because of it. You can and will recover. I did and so can you. But I actively asked for and got help. Not at first, and I suffered for some time bottling up my feelings and trying to put on a brave face. It doesn't work. Come back and let us know how it goes. Take heart, and look for that distant light. IT IS THERE. FIND IT!!