Panic at my Apartment

[Tuneuronerd95746 2]

Hey all,

To anyone who reads this, thank you in advance for your time and kindness. I struggled with PD for many years beginning in college. It faded away but has come back in full force over the last 1.5 months. 

Long story short: My apartment (while I left on a brief trip home from school) got infested by fleas. I have a major entomophobia (fear of insects), and was stuck alone with my poor kitten in a place loaded with them. I spent the next few days cleaning everything, washing sheets, vacuuming every nook and cranny (thankfully live in a studio that is primarily hardwood). I would see them hopping around (never bit me thankfully) in the vacuum bag- that obviously terrified me. I eventually got me and the cat out, dropped three bombs, and returned. Of course it wasn't a permanent solution- the bombs can't kill all of them. I left the apartment again due to the fear. I returned for a weekend and made it about 3 days before the anxiety of possibly being around the fleas got to much. I had to board my poor little cat for 18 days, and left to go see my family and fiance. I feel nothing but incredible surges of panic and distress when thinking of the fact I'm flying back to the apartment in 6 days. It terrifies me. I've had the place exterminated (sprayed) another 3 times since I left, but the phobia of these little parasitic specs horrifies me constantly. I can't escape the fear, even knowing my cat is now treated with medication and my apartment is thoroughly treated. Deep down I know the problem will resolve and they'll all die off, but god this has been the worst.

So essentially, I'm away from home trying to eat and sleep properly again. My phobia of my own home due to the incident is incredibly strong (laughably an anti-agoraphobia). How do I convince myself to get back in there? As a graduate student, I need to eat and sleep- these things are increasingly difficult. I've received medication and abide by mindfulness techniques. But nothing seems to work. 

 

Any advice much appreciated, and even just reading this- I'm very grateful for you.

 

B. 

[Gilly 1086]

Hi B

I can relate as I have 7 cats. Luckily fleas aren't something I have a problem with often as my cats are house cats, but on occasion somehow, a few have gotten in. I hate it. 

Try and look at it this way. The worst happened, your home got infested BUT you were right on it, you took action and remedied the the problem, you conquered the fleas you have the power to conquer your FEARS too.

Go you!! 

[Tuneuronerd95746 2]

Hi Gilly,

Thank you for your response. I really appreciate the feedback and positivity. My cat is actually a house cat; somehow one or two got tracked in and got on her (she wasn't medicated previously). Just sucks because I wasn't vigilant enough until the problem got out of hand. I know it can't be worse than it was when I slept there at first, but it's just so hard to conquer such a robust phobia of a location. Even knowing they're not lethal and aren't even prioritizing me. I just have to suck it up, because I've run out of funds to try and treat and I can't move out.

 

thanks again for reading anything I wrote, I really appreciate it:)

Best,

brad 

[JOYCICLE 654]

Having had dogs and cats for all of my life, I have had many run ins with fleas. They don't do much by way of vicious attacks. I can understand your fear but the best bet now is to treat the kitty every 30 days and if the apartment is now clear and the kitty stays clear of it, they won't be back. Once a flea population is under control it is easy to keep under control.  You can do it~ 

 

[Tuneuronerd95746 2]

Thank you Joycicle for the response, and encouragement. I think my biggest fear is that the population is not under control. I know I can't expect to kill every single one right away- that's impractical. But it's the fact I can't solve this problem immediately. Like the fact it will take a few weeks for them all to completely die- that frustrates me and amps up my phobia.

 

Either way, thank you for the kind feedback. I really really appreciate it.

 

best,

brad 

[JOYCICLE 654]

Keep kitty covered and vacuum daily for a few weeks.  Wash all the cloth again in hot water . Things you cannot wash in hot water like throw pillows, bigger items, like that, just put in the dryer on high heat for 30 minutes. Any other items you don't want to deal with like excessive clothing, winter coats, etc., put in big trash bags and seal up the top so nothing can get in or out. Any bugs inside it will die and you will be defeating your problem.  It's going to be ok.  This may have been a good  ' exercise' for you in ' exposure' therapy. You were exposed to bugs and nothing happened. You made it~  

[Tuneuronerd95746 2]

Thanks Joycicle,

Before I left I was vacuuming daily, and had washed sheets multiple times. Bombed apartment 3x as well. Really hoping when I go back the numbers will be lower.

Thanks for all your positive feedback I really appreciate it. I've got to get over this phobia to function. I think it was the anxiety of having to clean daily for hours while coping with graduate work. It became too much. Let's hope it all winds down.

 

Thank you!